Mark B. Borg

IRRELATIONSHIP: How we use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy


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3 Short-Circuiting the Possibility of Love

       Part Two Getting to Know You Spotlight on the Performer and the Audience

       Chapter 5 The Performer—Intuition Backfires into Isolation

       Chapter 6 The Audience—Resisting Care

       Part Three Backstage The Inner Workings of Irrelationship

       Chapter 7 Patterns and Pitfalls

       Chapter 8 A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Adulthood

       Part Four Raising the Curtain on Recovery From Irrelationship to Real Relationship

       Chapter 9 A Brand New World

       Chapter 10 The DREAM Sequence: Step-by-Step Recovery

       Chapter 11 Living the Dream

       Chapter 12 Zoe and Victor Break Free

       Part Five Encore Cracked Open for Love

       Chapter 13 Cracked Open at Last

       An Invitation from the Authors

       Notes

       Bibliography

       About the Authors

      GuideCoverTable of ContentsTitle Page

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      Our agent, Gareth Esersky, gets first mention. She saw what this book was—almost before we did—and guided us through the surprisingly complicated process of bringing our relatively simple and straightforward project to print and to the public eye. She never wavered in her encouragement and her belief in the work’s value.

      Gareth turned us on to Ilene Segalove. Ilene, an artist and writer of considerable note, made no secret of how taken she was with our project. From her first reading, she knew how to shape the text to make it readable and usable. Her generosity of heart and mind warmed and encouraged us at points when warm and encouraged wasn’t necessarily how we were feeling. Ilene also gave us insight into subtleties of the book’s revolutionary “self-other help” model, which nudged the manuscript in a direction we had not anticipated and much to its improvement.