thoughts. Allow the thoughts to pass without dwelling on them. Thoughts are a natural activity. Meditation can be a way to experience greater inner peace. This peace comes about not by eliminating thoughts, but by tuning in to the silence, the gap that is naturally present between our thoughts. Sometimes we find our way into the gap and experience the sensation of suspended time and space. This is perhaps the exception for most of us. Nevertheless, every time we sit and practice meditation, we derive a multitude of physical and psychological benefits, even when it feels like nothing is happening.
Relaxation and Meditation Technique
Sit comfortably with the lower back supported. If necessary, lie down.
Take a few deep breaths to relax the mind and body.
Close the eyes and relax all facial muscles.
Repeat the word in as you breathe in, and out as you breathe out.
Notice the rise and fall of each breath.
When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to the breath.
Allow your thoughts to keep moving through like clouds passing by.
Let sounds and distractions serve as cues for bringing your focus back to the breath.
Accept whatever thoughts or feelings come to mind.
Open your eyes gradually after the allotted time.
Notice how you feel after the practice session.
Practice for five to twenty minutes once or twice daily.
When we stop struggling with what is naturally occurring, we can experience calm and tranquility. The idea is to have a passive attitude about thoughts without fueling them, and to continue bringing your attention back to your breath when possible. Relaxation and meditation can look and feel as though you are doing nothing, but they are powerful tools for health and healing of the mind and the body.
“Authentic relaxation is a skill you develop over time,” I told Anne. “Every time you relax deeply or meditate, it is a different experience. There is always something to be gained whenever you sit and practice. There is no such thing as doing this perfectly. With each meditation, you are training yourself to settle down, pay attention, and see things as they really are. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you learn these methods. It may not be apparent to you now, but there is a subtle yet profound transformation taking place within you every time you practice.”
Anne thought for a moment and then said with determination, “I’m making a commitment to practice meditation for at least ten minutes a day. Maybe this will help me to slow down and feel more at peace with myself.” “It will,” I assured her. “Incorporating a relaxation practice into your life will have a major effect on your well-being. You are going to witness benefits that might be hard to imagine right now. Give it time and observe what happens.”
During times of extreme emotion or crisis, abdominal breathing and relaxation may not be the first things we turn to. However, with most day-to-day challenges these practices can provide mighty inner resources. Authentic relaxation quiets the mind in such a way that allows you to better understand yourself and develop your inner potential. In 1961, Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. . . . Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”4
The following week, Anne announced, “I’ve been practicing the breathing every chance I get. It’s been great. Every morning before getting out of bed I meditate for ten minutes, and then again after work before I prepare dinner. It feels a little weird, and sometimes I resist the feeling because letting go and relaxing can feel a bit out of control to me. That said, I can’t recall ever feeling this calm. It’s as if something good is washing over me. Can we practice meditation together again? I want to make sure I’m doing it right, and it feels different when you’re guiding me than when I practice on my own.”
“Sounds like you’re doing well,” I said. “Just for the record, when you meditate with someone else it is quite different from doing it alone. Listening to guided-meditation CDs or MP3s is also a different experience than practicing on your own. Guided relaxation or meditation sessions can be quite effective, but ultimately I believe it is important to be able to practice on your own. That way, wherever you go or whatever you do, you will not need anyone or any props to help to achieve a deep state of relaxation. Initially, this guidance helps to integrate new ideas and techniques, but in time you will know what cues work best for you, and your own voice will guide you into that profound place. For now, let’s practice together.”
Affirmations to Conquer Addiction
Anne got into a comfortable sitting position, closed her eyes, and followed my instructions. Her breathing slowed and her body relaxed. We practiced for a few minutes. Then I said, “I would like to add something during our meditation together. This time when we practice, let’s incorporate an affirmation—a simple, positive statement about some aspect of your life that you want to work on. Let’s begin the meditation as usual by getting into a relaxed sitting position, in good postural alignment, and repeat the words in and out as you follow the rise and fall of each breath. Then I will add an affirmation. Just go with it and we can discuss your experience afterward.”
Several minutes into the meditation, I told Anne to release the repetition of the words in and out and replace them with the affirmation Already healed. Already whole. “Imagine yourself, using all of your senses, already healed and already whole.” Several minutes later, I suggested, “When you are ready, release the affirmation and take a few moments to relax. Then, without making fast or abrupt movements, gradually open your eyes.” While Anne was in this meditative state, I wanted her to use this affirmation, because when in a relaxed mode, the mind is most receptive to suggestion. I thought the affirmation would help Anne envision a stronger, more confident self.
She slowly opened her eyes. “I think I’m getting better at this, and I like the visual image of the affirmation.” Her tone changed as she said solemnly, “For thirty-three years, I’ve smoked. I always said I would rather smoke than eat. For five days now, I haven’t touched a cigarette. I’ve had some edgy moments, but for the most part I’m calm and feel so good about this accomplishment. My only fear is that it won’t last.”
“That’s a great accomplishment, Anne. You need to keep taking it one day at a time. The fact that you’ve gone five days without a cigarette speaks to your ability and readiness to give up smoking and embrace healthier alternatives. The breathing and meditation will continue to serve you. Every time you crave a cigarette, know that you have alternatives that will not only help you to make better choices but also enhance the quality of your life. Remember, deep breathing is the fastest way to stifle your desire to smoke.”
Affirmation Strategy
Create a list of qualities about yourself that you deem negative.
Write an affirmation from a positive perspective countering each negative.
Create an affirmation or positive self-statement that is simple, supportive, and attainable.
Repeat your affirmation often.
Practice while relaxed because that is when the mind is most receptive to suggestion.
Anchor the affirmation in your body by pairing it with abdominal breathing.
When you experience benefits from your current affirmations, compose and begin to practice new affirmations to counter other negative beliefs.
Affirmations