A Few Ways to Help You Get Centered
When you’re feeling overwhelmed and need a time-out, here are a few ways to calm down, refresh, and refocus.
Stop and Focus Only on Your Breathing
Stop whatever you are doing and thinking immediately and start listening and focusing only on your breath. Slowly take long, deep breaths in through your nose, and then exhale all the way out through your mouth. Do this until you feel your mind and body are calm and controlled.
Disengage and Walk Away
Resist reacting impulsively to negative emotions. Instead, walk away from heated situations until you can calm down, work through them, and respond from a more rational place.
Find and Repeat a Mantra
A mantra is a sound, word, or short phrase that offers you encouragement, inspiration, and motivation; for example, “I am always in control of my words and my actions.” Repeating it is designed to help to center your thoughts, reaffirm your goals, and keep you going. Using one can be as simple as mentally repeating the word “breathe” to yourself in stressful situations.
“Meditation is a technique to help us be with ourselves thoroughly and deeply. It allows ourselves the time and space to discover who we are, to discover and face our wild untamed mind and our fears, and to discover the basic goodness of ourselves and our world.”
—Jeremy Hayward
Pray and/or Meditate
Find somewhere quiet and focus your thoughts through prayer or meditation like the one described on page 6.
You can also meditate or pray as part of your daily routine—the better you get at clearing, calming, and controlling your mind, the more easily you’ll be able to do so during moments of stress. Ten to fifteen minutes is all you need!
Spend Some Time Outside
Getting even a few minutes of sunshine can make a big difference in your state of mind. The vitamin D you get from sunlight increases the levels of a natural antidepressant in your brain called serotonin. And surrounding yourself with nature is a great way to help block out negative thoughts and feelings; clear your mind and awaken your five senses by focusing only on what you see, hear, taste, smell, and touch.
Jacqueline’s Daily Meditation
Sit in a position that you find comfortable, but remember your posture, girl; this isn’t the time for a nap! Try sitting cross-legged with your back straight, but not rigid, to prevent you from getting sleepy.
Place your right hand in your left hand, palms facing upward, right above your lap and below your belly button. The tips of your thumbs should be slightly raised and lightly touching. Your eyes should be partially open and focused on a peaceful object. (You can close them if you prefer—just don’t fall asleep!) Your tongue is gently pressed behind the front teeth. You may choose to light a great-smelling candle or listen to calm, repetitive, and gentle music.
Without letting your mind wander, focus only on the inhale and exhale of your breath. Inhale positivity, blessings, and inspiration and exhale and eliminate the negative thoughts and distractions attacking your mind.
Go for a Power Walk or Do Another Form of Exercise
Exercising relieves stress while it produces mood-boosting endorphins. Try yoga, stretching, boxing, or whatever form of exercise you most enjoy.
Talk to Someone, or Write Down Your Thoughts and Emotions
Venting to an unbiased, trustworthy friend (or a professional!) can help release your negative feelings and let you look at your situation from another perspective. And if no one is available, writing or journaling is another great way to help you process and organize your feelings before reacting to them.
Often, by the time you’ve finished putting your thoughts into words, you are already on the path to feeling better. After you’ve released your “inner bitch,” your emotions just aren’t as intense.
If you’re upset with someone in particular and you feel silly just writing in a journal, try the “Write It and Rip It” method: write a letter to the person you’re upset with—then, once you’re finished writing, rip it up. It’s very liberating: write it and let it go!
Stay Positive!
Once you have quieted your mind, the next step to not just getting centered but staying centered is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Nothing can knock you off center faster than negative thoughts. The mind is an extremely powerful thing; we can actually turn a negative thought into reality simply by thinking it. Fortunately, the opposite is also true: training ourselves to think positively will help to manifest positive outcomes in our lives.
That doesn’t mean things will always go the way we want them to. But keeping a positive attitude, and the positive energy you create in the process, will make your journey in life a better one.
Choose Positive Thoughts
Observe your thoughts throughout the day. Are you choosing positive thoughts—like “I can do this!”—or negative ones—like “What’s the point of doing this? I’m really not seeing results I want anyway.”
Stop focusing on the negative circumstances in your life and start focusing on all the positive ones. Instead of thinking about the things you don’t want in your life, think only about the things you do want!
Choose Positive Perceptions
The way you perceive any situation or circumstance is a choice. When a traffic jam happens on your way to work, do you use your time wisely and productively (listening to audiobooks, returning phone calls, studying notes, or finding peace in the moment) or become anxious and impatient, lose control, and get angry? You may not be able to change your circumstances, but the way you view them affects how you feel about them and determines the way you respond to them.
Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are encouraging messages designed to counteract negative thinking. You read or recite them throughout your day, or at certain times each day, until you believe them.
Some of our favorites:
Surround Yourself with Positive People Who Support and Encourage You
The people with whom you surround yourself should be people you love and trust and who love and trust you—people who believe in you, who bring out the best in you, and who will reinforce your positive thoughts and help you triumph