Ann Kiemel

I Love the Word Impossible


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his lecture a woman walked in

      and around the room

      and then out.

      the teacher continued talking without making

      reference to the woman.

      at the end of the class, he asked the students to

      write their impressions of that woman: how she

      looked and walked and anything

      they could remember. all sixteen students

      perceived her differently.

      i have been raised

      in the evangelical world. three of

      my great uncles, my grandfather, my father, and

      two of my uncles are ministers.

      i was fed and clothed and loved by the church.

      it is a tremendous heritage.

      if there is one thing, though, that confuses and

      distorts my evangelical doctrine of love,

      it is legalism.

      it is the law that dictates for everyone, anywhere,

      the absolutes of his/her relationship to

      Jesus Christ.

      a student at a Christian college

      was about to graduate. extremely bright

      and filled with potential, he fought one major

      crisis. all his life, he had been raised in the church.

      for years he had watched people “get saved.”

      he heard them testify the same way. they usually

      cried a lot, felt brand-new and wonderful

      inside, and were going “to go with Jesus

      all the way.”

      i was eight when i accepted Jesus Christ

      at a billy graham film, and i confess

      that is exactly how it happened with me.

      david, however,

      had gone forward many times,

      and never was able to cry

      or have a high-peak emotional

      experience. as a result, all these years

      he had decided

      he could not be a Christian.

      one day

      he talked to a man who also was not an

      emotional personality. he was reserved and rather

      withdrawn.

      this man shared with david that Jesus Christ

      entered his life in an undramatic way.

      no tears.

      no brand-new, cleaned-out

      feeling.

      in his heart, he quietly and simply

      chose to follow Jesus Christ. he confessed his sin,

      and began sharing his entire self with God.

      that day, david’s life changed.

      he had, for so long, wanted

      to know God.

      suddenly he realized that Jesus relates to our

      personalities individually. today,

      david is a strong, stable Christian.

      one of the most beautiful stories in the Bible

      is about Jesus and the prostitute.

      Jesus certainly did not approve of prostitution, but

      He saw that woman as a person

      separate from her behavior.

      He loved her.

      He tenderly reached out to smooth her life.

      the pharisees’ law for prostitution

      was to stone to death; no consideration of

      where the woman came from, or what she

      was in her heart…

      just cruel, immediate death.

      Jesus’ law of love was

      compassion.

      “he who is without sin, throw the first stone.”

      with shame,

      i confess to throwing stones.

      i confess to the temptation of looking on a

      person’s behavior, and letting that dictate

      my feelings for that child of God… of deciding

      for others what i think is right or wrong for their

      lives when i have NEVER “walked in their

      moccasins,” felt their pain and hopelessness, come

      from their childhood. i acknowledge with

      gratitude that more and more Jesus’ command,

      “judge not, that ye be not judged,” is being

      absorbed and understood in my life.

      “perceptual distortion” is a psychological term

      that means we all understand situations

      differently, according to our backgrounds and

      frames of reference. in hawaii, in my strict

      Christian home, surrounded by ocean, for years

      a major church function was having picnics on the

      beach, spending hours swimming and riding the

      waves. can you imagine my shock when i moved to

      the midwest where there is no ocean, where some

      evangelicals feel mixed swimming is an abuse of

      the law of God? the difference was in where we

      were raised.

      Jesus, after all You have said, over and over,

      about the pharisees and the law… after all

      Your pleadings to be bound by love rather

      than law… please help me and others, as

      Christians, to see people separate from their

      behavior that we don’t understand or

      condone. be strong in us so we can always love

      people for being people… and leave

      the judging to You.

       thoughts

      i ache.

      the hurting i see in others…

      wishing it were not

      there, yet… knowing

      purposes exist

      behind

      every

      cold

      windy

      valley.

      i like that!

      the simple

      unwavering

      assurance