Derrick MD Johnson

A Real Goon's Bible


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      INTRO

      Fast Eddie sat in the parking lot of the Milwaukee Mall waiting on the nigga Chubb to show up. The Milwaukee Mall occupied the corners of Fond du Lac and North Avenues. Years ago it used to be home to Sears and Roebuck before they started going out of business nationwide.

      The mall was a gigantic indoor swap meet. Sorta like the ones that were in Los Angeles and Compton. It sold everything from used tires to knock-off Jordan’s. Their busiest days of the month were the first through the fifteenth. “Mother’s Day” was what the street hustlers called the first of the month, because that was the day when the most money came in due to welfare and general assistance checks.

      “Damn that nigga Chubb is taking a long time,” Fast Eddie thought to himself. Chubb was from Hopkins, H-O-P is what the younger generation renamed it. Niggas from 24th Street and niggas from Hopkins were arch-rivals. A lot of blood had been shed and a lot of lives had been taken during the ongoing feud between the two neighborhoods that has gone on for decades and nearly outlived its original participants. Somehow during all the riff-raff, Fast Eddie and Chubb were able to put their differences aside and get money together.

      “There he go. It’s about time,” Fast Eddie said to himself as Chubb rode around the parking lot. He didn’t notice Fast Eddie’s car so he pulled over to call him. After two rings Fast Eddie answered by saying, “What’s the business?”

      “I’m up here player,” responded Chubb.

      “Me too. I’m in the Taurus wagon my nig,” replied Fast Eddie.

      After pulling up next to the Ford Taurus wagon, Chubb got out his ride and got in the car with Fast Eddie saying, “I aint seen this one before.”

      “You got to switch up every now and then,” said Fast Eddie. “I had to get me a couple new ‘no lookers.’ No-lookers was what he preferred to use to transfer his drugs from Point A to Point B. They were your average everyday cars. No rims, systems, or tint - exactly how they came from the factory. No one ever paid any attention to them, especially the police.

      “Dig my nig, I was wondering if I could get another bird for a partner of mines,” Chubb asked.

      “For sho! But it’ll have to be a little later ‘cause I got a couple more stops to make,” replied Fast Eddie. He didn’t make mention that he had three other birds on him ‘cause they were for one of his ole’ school partners. Fast Eddie reached in the back seat to retrieve a black backpack and handed it to Chubb saying, “It’s all there my nig.” And as if on cue, Chubb handed him a brown paper bag with $34,000 cash in it. Fast Eddie told Chubb that he had a new shipment in and that he would get that other bird to him when he was done with all his running around. They agreed to meet later that day.

      As Fast Eddie left the Milwaukee Mall he had a funny feeling but didn’t know why. He shook it off as it being nothing; he always felt funny after doing business with someone from the other side of the tracks. Fast Eddie knew about their history and he didn’t fully trust Chubb - his intuition wouldn’t allow him to. He knew that by the code of the streets they were still enemies and both would choose to side with their particular hood if shit ever went sour.

      * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

      As he drove down Fond du Lac Avenue heading toward 35th Street, he called his wife Fatima to see how the kids were doing and what was for dinner. When she told him that it was a Red Lobster night he agreed to take them there when he was finished working. Fatima loved Red Lobster; it was where Fast Eddie took her on their first date eight years earlier. She loved the Admiral’s Feast ‘cause it afforded her a variety of samples to choose from. Fast Eddie’s favorite was the live lobsters in the gigantic tank at the entrance that greeted each and every customer upon their arrival. He loved the idea of hand picking the one he wanted to eat, and he took great pride in doing so.

      Fast Eddie and Fatima met at a Custer High School varsity basketball game. Custer was located on Sherman Boulevard, one block from Villard Avenue. It was the home of the 2-4 Gang. Other gangs also attended Custer, but with the understanding that it was the 2-4’s house. Fast Eddie noticed Fatima because she stood out amongst the other females attending the game that day. She had a certain glow about her that was to his liking. Numbers were exchanged and over the next several months their relationship flourished. Fatima lied and told him she was eighteen years old and had just graduated when in fact she was a sixteen year old junior at Custer.

      * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

      “Damn, what these fags want?” Eddie wondered as he noticed the blue and red lights from Milwaukee’s finest in his rearview mirror. As he pulled over to the right side of the road he calmly considered that he had three more bricks in the stash spot in his car. He didn’t sweat it though; it was a routine traffic stop by a regular blue and white.

      “License and registration,” the cop said as he approached the driver’s side of the car. As Fast Eddie reached into the glove compartment to get the registration card, he noticed the cop looking through the back window as if he was looking for something. “Nosey motherfucka,” he thought to himself. Handing the registration card and his license to the cop, he questioned, “Whose car is this?”

      “It belongs to a friend of mines,” Fast Eddie calmly replied and then asked the cop why he was pulled over. The cop informed him that he failed to signal prior to switching lanes. Fast Eddie knew it was a bunch of bullshit, but nevertheless it was only a warning and a ticket at worst and he would be on his way. After a few minutes the street cop came back and tapped on the window and asked him to step out of the car. He didn’t like the way things were going but he knew that resisting at this point would only make shit look suspicious. Once he was out of his car and standing on the sidewalk, the cop told him that his license came back suspended for unpaid tickets. “Damn,” he thought. He would’ve sworn he told Fatima to take care of those tickets months ago. Now it’s costing him big time.

      Without a valid driver’s license, no consent to search was needed. As the cop viciously tore through the car, Fast Eddie called Fatima to inquire about the unpaid tickets. She told him that some, but not all of them, were paid. While he was on the phone with her a second squad car pulled up followed by an unmarked detective car. Fast Eddie told Fatima that he would call her back because things weren’t looking right. As the two plain clothed detectives got out of their car and made their way over to Fast Eddie he knew that this was not your normal traffic stop, something else was going on.

      “Fast Eddie,” one detective said. “Put your hands on the hood of the car here.” When the detective called him by his street name his greatest fear was confirmed - someone was talking. After he was searched they asked him to sit in the backseat of the unmarked car. All type of thoughts ran through his head.

      The cops had a field day and after finding the $34,000 cash Fast Eddie just got from Chubb, they high-fived each other to celebrate. His heart started to beat fast, but he kept his composure. His stash hadn’t been found and he was almost certain it wouldn’t be. It was professionally installed by Stereo Doctors on Capital Drive.

      “Fast Eddie you want to tell me where you got all that money from?” asked one of the detectives.

      “Fuck you! Talk to my lawyer,” barked Fast Eddie.

      “You’re going to need three lawyers boy. We got enough shit on you to give you life and death. You’ll need a U-haul truck to carry all this time we got for you,” the detective responded.

      Fast Eddie sat in the back of the unmarked squad car and watched as cop after cop pulled up. Some left as quickly as they came, while others hung around to watch the show. Just as he was into a deep thought he noticed a marked blue and white pull up with a K-9 logo on the side of the car. Things instantly went from bad to worse when the K-9 was let out of the squad. In no time at all it hit on the stash spot in the floorboard of the Taurus wagon. It went crazy, barking hysterically and ripping plugs out of the passenger seat. After a few minutes of searching they