Giving Myself Permission: Putting Fear and Doubt In Their Place. Pennie Murray

us. Relying on the permission we seek from others may often cripple or limit the potential of our success in life, love, and purpose.

      Never should a decision be made to impress or outdo someone. Yes, we all possess some level of competitiveness. In business, competition is the name of the game. But even in business we must exercise restraint, wisdom, and sound judgment.

      If we remain solely dependent on others to give us permission to live, we will always be at risk of being slaves to our own self-doubt, and others will always have unfair access to the emotions and direction of our lives. Ultimately, it is unfair to us to continue living this way.

      If you have been accustomed to pleasing other people or basing your decisions on what they think, the self-permission transformation will give you a whole new lease on life. In the beginning, some of the people you have become dependent upon may be offended by your newfound independence. Others may be relieved. Regardless of their feelings, move forward with confidence. After all, this is your life. Isn’t it?

      Self-Permission Challenge

      It’s been said, “Emotions (positive or negative) like themselves. They want to live on forever.” This means they will insert themselves whenever and wherever they can flourish. Letting go of the dumb stuff that triggers negative emotions is not the same thing as letting go of our emotions or our emotional selves. Our emotions are valid and are an expressed response to painful experiences. They also offer insight into what’s really going on in any given situation.

      So, I’m not encouraging you to discredit the negative emotions you feel. And I certainly don’t encourage avoiding, rejecting, or repressing negative emotions. This challenge is more about dealing with the people and things that negatively impact your emotions. It’s about learning to manage and interpret these emotions so that they can benefit us.

      Whether you insert negative past events into your thoughts or express them aloud, when you recognize that your conversation or thoughts have shifted from the present to the negative past ask yourself the following questions:

      1.What was the purpose or intent of inserting my negative past into this conversation or this situation?

      2.Was it truly important or necessary to insert them?

      3.Did it strengthen or diminish me mentally and emotionally?

      4.What positive words and/or actions would give me what I want (positive attention or support) without negative input?

      Letting go of your emotions is not an option, but letting go of the dumb stuff is a process that can be learned. So start off slow by following the 5% principle. For example, focus on just one negative insertion at a time. Start with something small. Once you no longer have a need to insert the negative past into your present life, move on to another.

      As I stated in the introduction to this book, there is no time span as to how long you work through this challenge. Don’t set any pre-determined results, or place any expectations or demands on yourself. Work on each negative insert until you no longer have a need for it.