relationships,” she said quietly.
“Well they might turn into relationships,” I said, finally realising what she was getting at.
“I saw you with Stella,” she said, looking up at me. “How come you didn’t stay with her the way the others did?”
“I’d never intended to,” I said, taken aback. “She wasn’t interested in that anyway—”
I told her what had happened, that Stella had told me to leave at once, without stopping for anything. Nicole looked alarmed.
“But why would you be in danger?” she asked, looking frightened. “Did she tell anyone else?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “There weren’t many people left in there by then, and I doubt she would have searched the bushes for everyone. I did see her talking to Marc, though.”
Nicole bit her lip, thinking hard.
“She said she’d tell me later,” I said, shrugging.
“Oh, well I suppose we’ll see her next week.” She lapsed into silence, and I saw her misery returning.
“You sure you’re okay?” I asked her.
She looked at me again, apparently weighing up her options. Then she said, “Is it just me, or does it feel pathetic to come home early from a party, alone?”
“A bit,” I said, thinking of what Peter and James were probably doing at that very moment, not to mention Natalie and Tommy. “But it shouldn’t, not if you were expecting to anyway.”
Nicole shrugged, looking as though she was already regretting what she’d just said. Knowing what was going through her mind, I said, “It feels a bit worse tonight ‘cause all our friends are probably out their rooting as we speak.”
Nicole snorted; apparently I’d broken the tension properly this time. “Did you see our dear brother out there on the dance floor?”
“Oh Peter … what’re we gonna do with him?”
We both laughed. Really, Peter’s misfortune was just so amusing, or maybe it was just the way he dealt with it.
“He’ll enjoy it though, even if he can’t quite handle it,” I said. “I don’t think he was expecting her to be so … scary.”
“Scary!” she snorted. She was laughing so hard now that I worried our parents would be down here at any moment, but at least she wasn’t upset anymore.
“Well come on,” I said reasonably. “How often do you see a chick acting like that? And she’s never been like that before; I thought the idea was to play hard-to-get?”
“Normally it is,” said Nicole, clutching her sides. “But you know everyone’s different. Some girls are just—”
“Hoes,” I supplied, smirking.
“Well, they’re different again,” she said. “I mean, Erica was like that a bit on camp with James, but she’s settled right down now since he’s accepted her. Maybe if Peter’s smart enough he’ll either tell her what she wants or tell her to go jump quickly so she can’t get too carried away.”
“I don’t think telling Erica to go jump would have done much good,” I sniggered.
“Maybe not,” said Nicole. “Still, Kylie ought to pull herself together once Peter—”
She seemed to trail away, although I was sure her mind was still ticking over. Knowing that there was really not much more to add to the discussion of Peter and Kylie, I said, “I saw you with Marc earlier. How come you let him get away?”
Her head shot up so fast that she looked as though she’d cracked her neck. Rubbing it, she said, “I know, I just … he wanted a break, and I needed to go to the lady’s anyway, and the next time I saw him he was up there dancing with Stella.”
She looked as though she was fighting tears, and I put my arm around her. My support seemed to give her the strength to say what she was thinking. “He couldn’t have cared much. He only wanted the—the slimmer girls. None of them were interested in me.”
Now she really was crying, and I tightened my arm around her. It struck me how similar our positions were; she had been after Marc for so long, only to have him choose another girl over her, while I’d been interested in Natalie for such a long time, and now she was with another guy.
“I know what that’s like,” I said gently. “The advice I got was that it’s not worth pursuing someone who isn’t going to return your feelings. You might as well keep looking.”
“You know?” she sobbed, looking up at me through tear-filled eyes. “How—who did that to you? I’ll kill her!”
I sniggered at the way her grief had turned so suddenly to outrage. She looked like she meant it, and I was so proud at that moment that Nicole was my sister. But I had no intention of telling her it was Natalie, not her best friend. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “The important thing is I’m going through the same thing, and it’s possible to get over it.”
Nicole laughed miserably. “You won’t have trouble. Stella looked like she was having a good time with you, and Lena—”
“Don’t talk about her,” I said warningly. “She’s as scary as Erica and Kylie.”
“Yeah, she is,” said Nicole, thoughtfully now. “So perhaps you should either tell her where to go or—”
“It’s hard to imagine being with someone like her,” I said honestly, but as I said it, I had a clear mental image of me and her in a room alone together. “I always imagined someone a bit … shorter.”
That was true, but it wasn’t the whole truth. I’d never allowed myself to consider Lena while my mind was set so solidly on Natalie. But it was time to end that; Daniel had said I would miss opportunities such as this if I refused to take them, and Lena was someone who was truly taken with me. Of course, I’d thought the same about Natalie a few days ago, and look how that turned out. Plus I knew Sebastian had the hots for Lena. It was all so confusing, but Nicole’s next words seemed to put all my thoughts into perspective.
“If you’re really feeling the same rejection as I am, then maybe Lena’s comfort’s what you need,” she said earnestly.
“It’s slightly different,” I said, suddenly realising what was holding me back. “The whole reason you ought to give up on Marc is because he doesn’t seem to share your feelings—at least I don’t think he does, based on tonight. I’m the same for—well, I don’t share Lena’s feelings, so what’s the point starting anything?”
Nicole seemed to have no answer to that. We both sat in silence for a few moments before she said, “I suppose you’ve got options, but I reckon I’d pick Lena even if I didn’t share her feelings, just ‘cause of her feelings … maybe I would grow more fond of her. You can't know that won't happen unless you try it. It’s worth taking a chance, plus you’d get the satisfaction of making her happy. Look how happy Erica is these days.”
“That’s true,” I said. In fact, Nicole’s advice was more or less the same as Daniel’s had been when we’d talked about Lena and Erica on camp. “And according to Lena’s brother, she really needs that sort of cheering up. Apparently she’s never had a boyfriend before. I wouldn’t believe that, but maybe part of it’s true.”
“I’d believe it,” she said, surprising me. “I know the boys like to look at her, but most of the ones who’ve tried to talk to don’t bother for long—like they think she’s boring or something. She’s never really been outgoing. She seems to study as hard as Lisa except that she’s so much quieter about it, tries not to draw any attention to herself. I reckon she’s a bit low on confidence, probably not realising that all she needs to do is be a little