fantasy, possibly leading to solo masturbation, mutual masturbation via webcam, or in-person sexual encounters
•Using prostitute, escort, and sexual massage websites and apps
•Buying, selling, or otherwise exchanging traditional sex-industry products such as magazines, videos, and sex toys
•Simultaneous mutual sexual activity in private chat rooms—writing back and forth while masturbating, or masturbating on video chat
•Viewing, via webcam, staged sexual acts in real time
•Using apps to find casual and/or anonymous sexual hookups
•Cruising social media or dating sites to view intimate photos or locate potential sexual partners
•Sexting (sending sexual texts and images) via smartphones as a way to flirt with an existing partner or a new acquaintance, or even just for the sexual thrill of it
•Using teledildonic masturbatory devices that warm, lubricate, pulse, and grip in tandem with sexual activities taking place onscreen such as porn videos or even live performances
•Playing virtual sex games that allow users to create customized fantasy avatars that are then used to participate in interactive online sexcapades
Given the amount and variety of currently available digital sexual activities, it is easy to see why sex addiction is on the rise.
THE “TRIPLE-A ENGINE”
Nearly all modern day sex addicts have fallen victim to the Internet’s Triple-A Engine9 of accessibility, affordability, and anonymity. To understand how the Triple-A Engine works, consider the following stories about porn use and casual sex thirty years ago versus today.
Porn in 1985: Joe, a resident of Boston, wanted to look at porn one day, so he got up, got dressed, and rode the train for nearly half an hour to the city’s infamous “Combat Zone,” where he knew about an adult bookstore. There he spent nearly $100 on a small pile of magazines filled with grainy imagery. For Joe, that was quite a lot of money—more than he could really afford. Plus, he spent the entire trip watching over his shoulder hoping to not be seen by a friend, neighbor or someone from his church. Over the course of the next few weeks Joe enjoyed looking at and masturbating to the pornography, but as the imagery became increasingly familiar, he lost interest. Within a month he was back on the train, surreptitiously headed back to the Combat Zone, ready to once again spend money he didn’t really have on a new batch of pornography.
Porn in 2015: Joe picked up his smartphone on his nightstand and uttered the words, “show me some porn.” No train ride, no $100 outlay, and no boredom with the imagery because the Internet provides an endless and ever-changing supply. No muss, no fuss, just the porn, thank you very much.
Seeking a one night stand in 1985: Amy, an unmarried resident of Minneapolis, was feeling lonely one evening. Hoping to meet Mr. Right (or at least Mr. Right Now) she showered, styled her hair, put on makeup, spritzed herself with perfume, and slipped into her slinky black dress. Then she walked downstairs from her second floor apartment into the freezing cold Minnesota winter, hailed a cab, and took an expensive ride to a singles bar on the other side of town (not wanting any of her friends or neighbors to see her and figure out what she was up to). At the club she bought herself a couple of overpriced drinks and waited for a decent looking man to display interest in her. Several men offered to buy her a drink, but none of them were her “type.” Eventually, dejected and depressed, she left the bar and took the long cab ride home.
Seeking a one night stand in 2015: Amy was feeling lonely one evening. She put some popcorn in the microwave while clicking on her Tinder smartphone app. While snacking in her bathrobe and slippers she noticed a cute guy right away. She swiped his profile to indicate interest, and before her microwave popcorn was gone she was sexting him. Twenty minutes later he arrived at her doorstep, happy to share popcorn, a movie, and a little bit more with her. No hours of preparation, no expensive cab ride or overpriced drinks, no parade of losers, no sore feet and ankles from standing around in high heels for three hours, and no disappointment at the end of the night.
The reality is that sexual content and contacts are now readily available to anyone at the touch of a digital button. Barriers that existed just a few decades ago no longer exist. You don’t even need an actual computer. Laptops, tablets, e-readers, smartphones, gaming platforms, and numerous other devices will serve you nicely for tonight’s sexual hookup. Nor do you need to be a techno-genius because digital devices, websites, and apps are incredibly user-friendly. Pornography and casual sexual connections can now be accessed anywhere, anytime, by anyone who’s interested—with that interest typically fulfilled almost immediately. And this, of course, can be quite problematic for cybersex addicts.
BEYOND THE TRIPLE-A ENGINE
As you can see, the accessibility, affordability, and anonymity of the Internet makes digital technology very attractive, particularly when it comes to sex. But there is more to the allure of digital technology than just the three A’s.
Interactivity
The interactive nature of the Internet provides users with a profoundly different experience than other forms of entertainment. While television, film, radio, books, and magazines are static, the Internet is not. For instance, a porn magazine likely provides twenty or so pictures and that’s it. With a porn DVD you get an hour or so of action and that’s it. It doesn’t matter if there’s only one picture in the magazine or one scene in the video that turns you on. That’s all you get. Period. If you’re looking at porn online, however, you can sort and reshuffle images and sometimes, if you’ve got someone performing live via webcam, you might even be able to direct the action via live chat. The Internet provides you with control over whom and what you view in ways that other media simply cannot. Thanks to this interactivity, digital technology has the power to hold a person’s interest far longer than any previous entertainment medium, especially when it comes to sexual content and romance.
HOW DIGITAL TECHNOLOGY ESCALATES PORN ADDICTION
The idea that the Internet and related technologies can now provide an unending, ever-changing stream of sexualized imagery and experience is in great part what feeds porn addiction. Porn addiction, like other addictions, is driven as much by anticipatory fantasy as by the actual act (in this case, the act of masturbation and orgasm). Thanks to digital technology, porn now changes continually, allowing the cybersex addict to experience the “rush” of “the new” almost constantly.
Compactness/Portability
In the past, porn magazines ended up under the mattress, in piles the garage, or stacked in a closet. DVDs and VHS tapes also had to be stored—preferably in a place inaccessible to your kids or your spouse, not to mention visiting relatives and friends. For sexualized phone calls you needed someplace private, which was a real problem when all you had was a landline. For actual live sexual encounters, you needed a motel room or at least a car with a decent backseat. All these forms of sexual content and activity took up a lot of space making them hard to conceal. Today, digital sexual content and activity takes up no more space than the digital device you are using to access it. And if an unwanted visitor enters the room, a simple click can both end the connection and hide the evidence. A porn collection that would once have filled a three-car garage can now be stored on a USB flash drive no bigger than your thumb or in “the cloud.” So in today’s world, sexual acting out, even when excessive, is just a whole lot easier to manage, especially if your goal is to keep it secret.
Safety
Digital technology almost guarantees that you can go online and engage in digital sex without the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease, getting arrested, or risking physical attack through robbery, assault, or rape. Plus, those who tend to be shy or socially withdrawn can lose their anxious inhibitions behind the safety shield provided