weren’t really about you, they weren’t questioning your value. They were questioning my value to you and to the world in general because of my lack of good looks and my terrible aloofness.”
My voice went up a bit both in volume and in pitch.
Charlie laughed.
“Really Baby, it has nothing to do with what he was thinking but the fact that we were listening to his private thoughts was what I felt to be wrong. Hell, people think what they want but it’s what they do that counts.”
“Michael you’ve got that righteous thing down pat and I’m sure it’s based in the ‘Golden Rule’ but, on the red spark we are but observers, you can’t figure it out after one trip. Plus you can’t be a true and clear observer if you’re already harboring opinions.”
Charlie laughed again.
“Baby, I gotta go again, you know that, right?”
“When,” I asked.
“When the special has its premiere,” he said.
“Where,” I asked.
“San Francisco for the special but your house for the travel; does that sound ok with you?”
“You’re on,” I said.
Control and Understanding
After seeing Michael to his plane and watching his flight take to the air, Charlie and I held hands and walked to the truck without saying a word.
Charlie hesitated a second before he started the engine, leaned down and kissed me.
“Helen, you have something to tell me?”
Charlie cut to the chase.
“Yesterday the red spark took me to you and your pretty girl friend that should have been named Colleen. You didn’t speak but I could hear your thoughts. You called her a mean bitch and you questioned what the hell you were doing with her. You wanted your crazy woman back.”
Charlie didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know why I was allowed to see that Charlie, but I’m so glad you wanted me back. I was thinking that maybe Ricky doesn’t want me to forget how much I love you. Maybe that’s why I was allowed to see. Does it bother you that I saw that?”
“No,” he answered.
“Are you ok with me knowing everything there is to know about you?”
“Yeah, you already know all that matters.” He shrugged.
Snuggling closer into him I whispered.
“I love you more every minute.”
Charlie put his right hand on my inner thigh and didn’t move it until he parked the truck.
“Come on crazy woman; let’s go make crazy love.”
We walked hand in hand into the house and then straight to bed where we did just what Charlie suggested.
In the following two weeks, the days before the PBS special premiere I jumped the red sparks as often as possible in the effort to gain control and understanding of what the red travel was all about. I wanted to be able to control the space of time that I traveled to.
Charlie was with me every time and helped me to regain my strength after each and every event.
Ricky’s red spark took me to people in my life when they weren’t even with me. I saw what people thought of me during glimpses of their lives. I heard conversations that didn’t put me in a very good light. Ricky took me to the first time I met Lu and I was astounded to know how ugly and old she thought I was.
Ricky’s particles took me to Miles while he was still alive; he was watching the video he’d taken of me climbing his fence and he was laughing.
“Damn, now there’s a woman I’d like to have.” he said.
While all that eavesdropping travel was going on, Ricky was trying to tell me something but I wasn’t picking it up. Michael was right I didn’t want to eavesdrop on people but I was looking for the bigger picture. Once during red spark travel I wished that I could kick my recall into high gear and be allowed to use it during my short visits. My recall is a gift from birth. With it I’m able to bring back times and events in my life to gain a greater understanding; I was given the gift, I believe, due to a natural unawareness that is part of my makeup. Traveling frequently allowed me to see how things changed and people changed. I saw that just like Lu’s opinion had changed concerning me others changed as well. Of course there are some people who just like to hate but those people didn’t have to be in my life.
With the frequency of travel I was able to slow the decent but not really able to direct it.
After I examined all the trips I took, I recognized that the one trip I took with Michael was the trip that I had the most control. That control, I was pretty sure was possible because of the connection between Michael and me.
A couple of days before the big premiere, I called Michael and asked that he meet me on the current of our flavors for a good reconnect. An hour later Michael and I were uniting into one being for a complete connection of a spiritual kind that we knew would give us a boost in every effort we participated in. And, an hour after that we were waking up and feeling like we could run the world.
I called Charlie to let him know that I was going to take a quick trip with the red sparks.
“Charlie, keep an eye on me please; I’m trying something new.”
“I gotcha,” he said.
Waiting for Ricky to show me her colors for only a few minutes and then she obliged. I jumped into the middle of Ricky’s particles aiming for the red and then I was in the eerie colored hue and even though there was a pull that was tugging me downward, I was buoyant and steady. Without effort I slowed the decent and I could see dates on the ledges and beyond that people within those dates. It was an intricate and methodical layered filing system. Instead of jumping onto one of the ledges, I just looked around, trying to figure out a way to read the system and then work within it. The process of examining the portal didn’t take as much energy from me as did the complete decent; the process and filing system became clearer. Even though I had little control, I was gaining a deeper understanding of the big picture.
My energy not depleting as fast; I was allowed to take a thorough look about and gain a modicum of understanding about how I could pick and choose who, when, and where I wanted to focus my attention. Time didn’t seem to exist in that cylindrical portal but eventually my eyes opened.
I was alone in my room. I tested my eyes, I could see fine. I tested the strength in my arms and legs. I could move just fine, as a matter of fact, I felt as though I had boundless energy.
Calling Charlie was a natural response.
“Woman,” Charlie answered.
“You got a problem?”
“No,” I said.
“I’m fine. Did you see anything different that time?”
“What time?”
Charlie sounded confused.
“Just now,” I said.
“Woman, I just spoke to you. You haven’t had time to go anywhere yet.”
It was my turn to be confused.
“Charlie, are you telling me that no time has passed since we last spoke?”
“A minute or two,” Charlie clarified.
As one try does not an experiment make I looked at Ricky to see if she would allow me another trip and was pleased to see her particles dancing all around me. The red spark jumped and so did I.
From the beginning of that ride, I slowed my decent and then took my time to examine what I could of