took the lead and spoke to everyone in the room.
“Come on, we fixed food.”
He then set me down to test my legs but decided that he should carry me anyway. I liked that and teased him with my kisses and bites on his neck.
At the dining room table, set for the four of us, Charlie set me down in front of my own place setting and then continued to the kitchen. Michael sat across from me and Lu followed Charlie.
Leaning in to me, Michael reached across the table and took my hand, willing me to make eye contact with him. Our reconnect was lovely and the eye-contact reconnect a boost, an additional gift that felt so loving; I nearly cried from it. We both stood and walked around the table and collided into each other to comfort and to be comforted.
I could feel Michael’s body jump slightly from his short sobs, the relief was just that intense. When Lu joined our hug she felt it too and could not hold her tears. I seemed to be the strong one and was able to maintain until the balance and calm insinuated itself into the three of us.
When I looked over to Charlie, he saw my need for him and came to me. Removing me from the 3-person huddle, he wrapped himself around me in the most protective, comforting and soothing embrace.
There, before we sat to eat, the four of us took solace and comfort from within the wrapped arms of our own loves. I remember thinking that we were such a soft and fragile species and that if Michael and I were going to do much traveling together we’d have to learn to buck up.
When Charlie and Lu thought that we would be ok, they left us at the table to finish the meal preparations.
During that short period before they brought the burgers to the table Michael had a few things to say.
“Baby, I love you and I am sorry. I’ll honestly try not to be a burden on you in the future but if you heard what I heard, you know that I’m meant to need you, right?”
“Michael, can we talk about it later? We need to first piece it together within our own heads. Let’s set a time to discuss the trip and it’s implications at least it can wait until after we’ve had the meal that Charlie and Lu fixed for us, ok?”
Those burgers were awesome and not just because we were so hungry but because they were Charlie’s specialty. When I ate them I could feel Charlie’s love in every bite.
“Michael,” Lu said.
“Charlie taught me to make, good no?”
“Yeah, really good.”
Michael agreed.
“And these fries, I’ve never tasted any French fries as good as these.”
Those French fries were a recipe that Charlie and I’d created together.
Charlie looked at Michael and then at Lu after Michael had praised the fries.
“Lu did those.” Charlie offered.
It’s always amazing to me how a smile can make a face better but when Lu smiled, her whole being lit up and we all kind of bathed in the beauty of it as it glowed off of her. She reminded me of Denice in that way. Lu was proud that Michael liked what she cooked.
After the four of us shared the responsibility of cleaning up the remains of the meal, Michael and Lu left through the front door holding hands.
“Back in a bit, I’ve got my phone if you need us.”
Michael threw the words over his shoulder to both Charlie and me.
When the door closed, Charlie wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me the way a lover kisses. He was really good at that. We would have loved to make out for the next couple of hours but instead we put aside our lust for each other and gave Tut the attention that he needed. I say that he needed the attention because he was a bird ‘entitled’. At least that seemed to be his perception because he would give all kinds of attitude if he thought we were neglecting him. He could get annoyingly loud which would break me quickly but not Charlie; Charlie could be just as annoyingly loud as could Tut. So, I made it my goal to treat Tut like the king he was.
As a duo, Charlie and I gave Tut all that he wanted. We pet him and scratched him and stroked our finger nails down through his tail feathers. We told him of his beauty and let him know how much we loved him. When Tut was finished with our praise he asked his own questions. They were usually one word names like, ‘Michael?’ and within that one word Tut asked a multitude of questions. Basically he wanted an up-date on Michael. Either Charlie or I would give him some information and then he’d ask his next one-word question, ‘Denice?’ and again, one of us would fill him in on what we knew.
Awhile back we were playing the question game with Tut and Tut said, ‘Miles?’ and stopped me dead in my tracks even though Tut and I had discussed Miles’ leaving. Charlie answered the question.
“Miles is the same, he’s moved on, and he’s safe.”
Sometimes the game would last for a few names and Tut would loose interest but other times, Tut would go through every person he’d ever met. Many of them I didn’t know and would try to question Tut about them but he’d get moody if I couldn’t answer so I’d say something like, ‘No change’.
That particular day Tut was only interested in the girls and only a few girls, at that: Denice, Margaret, Kathy, and Amanda. When the game was over, Tut and Charlie screeched at each other and then Tut came to me for his kiss and walked out of the room, headed for his nap bobbing his head and whistling all the way.
“Can I have you now?”
Charlie said softly in my ear as he came up to me from behind. He didn’t wait for me to actually say anything before we were in our bedroom with the door locked.
“You’ve teased me enough woman.”
That was all Charlie had to say before he removed our clothes. It all worked for me. Charlie wanted me all the time; yeah, that worked for me.
Eventually I got practical and remembered that I needed to do the laundry which got us both out of bed and dressed. I went to deal with the laundry and Charlie headed for the kitchen again. We met up in the dining room so that we could fold the linens together.
As we were finishing the folding Michael and Lu came out of the guest room and made their presence known. We hugged up and welcomed the balance and the added peace.
Michael and I headed for the ‘Pinky bank’ for our discussion regarding the 3 hour trip we’d taken earlier while Charlie and Lu were left to entertain one another.
After we’d packed and dusted a bowl, Michael started the conversation and I was glad of that because I really didn’t know what he wanted to discuss the process or the destination and outcome.
He started with what he saw.
“I could see the band and then me in the back and in the front I could see you. Is that what you saw, too?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“There seemed to be an electrical arc that went from me to the band and then from the individual instruments to you. Is that what you saw?”
“Yeah,” I answered again.
“At the end, the voice, the ‘over-lord’ type voice. Did you hear the voice?”
“Yeah,” I answered again.
“Do you remember what the voice said?” Michael asked.
“Yeah,” I answered again.
Michael repeated.
“’She must gain something as payment for her suffering.’ Did you hear that?”
Again, I answered, “Yeah.”
“And the final thing that I heard was, ‘He’ll continue to need her.’ Is that what you heard?”
“Yeah,”