the nearly two years since my first book was released—more than even during my weight loss or any other time in the past. I saw that I have inner strength, charisma, determination, tools, and muscles at my disposal I never knew existed! I received a priceless education and got to know myself even better. I got to see what was truly important, while I struggled to keep my healthy lifestyle and the weight off while traveling and dealing with a lot of frustration. I would see that my relationships with the people in my life are far more important than anything. Thank you to all the great people I met on this journey!
I am grateful my book got published and ended up on Amazon and in stores all over the country. Books were even sent to stores in the United Kingdom and Canada. I traveled to places old and new and met many amazing people I never would have met. I visited many familiar restaurants that are in my first book and whose owners were kind enough to host book-signing events. I loved the adventure. Still, I missed home; I missed my dogs and regretted that relationships in my life suffered because I was so determined to have a successful book launch and tour.
I forgot that I had truly “won the lottery” so to speak—I got a second chance at life, a chance to see life from a totally different perspective, to do some things over, to do some things differently, and to do things that were way beyond my comfort zone! In the middle of my book tour—something I was originally so excited about—I started to think this was a waste of time, effort, and money. Still, I had to remind myself that I was not a quitter!
Back when my agents were pitching my book idea to prospective publishers, I was tempted to give up. After receiving nineteen rejection letters critiquing every aspect of my project, one went so far to say they didn’t believe what I did was possible. My agents were scratching their heads, saying that these pitches were plans A, B, and C, and there was no plan D. I have to say that the self-esteem I had worked so hard to rebuild after the devastating effects of being overweight and codependent for years was nearing an all-time low, and I was ready to throw in the towel. I reached the point where I was ready to say screw it, yet I was not a quitter. Remember, I had tried nearly every diet out there for years and finally figured out a way to lose weight that worked when I was literally in a “do or die” situation.
Let Go and Let God!
What was going on? Maybe I wasn’t supposed to publish a book? Maybe I was just meant to go back to being Fred the lawyer, or something else. After a candid conversation with my agents and publicist, where it looked like the writing was on the wall and that those six years of writing, editing, time, and money were all for naught. I said to the universe, “There is one publisher out of the twenty that we approached that hasn’t responded yet. If my book is meant to get out there, they will publish it. Otherwise, it’s not meant to be. I’ve done everything I can to see this through.
I’m letting go of it and leaving it in God’s hands.”
I truly turned it over, took a walk, cleared my head, and truly accepted the possibility that my book wasn’t going to get published despite working for six years toward that goal. I put it to bed and went to bed, at peace with whatever the outcome would be. The next day, I received a call that my first book had found a home, and it would be out in early 2018.
Looking back, I am proud of my accomplishments: losing 150 pounds, getting my story published, and going out to share that story with the world. In doing so, I learned even more about myself and have taken this past year to rededicate myself to health and wellness—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am proud to have designed my own career and life. It did not guarantee an income, which was scary and frustrating for a while as bills began to pile up, but I learned to let go of the fear and know that a loving God has my back, so long as I am doing it for the right reasons.
I still practice law part-time, but my passion is living through adventure travel, exploring food and wine, and writing about my life and doing things I never would have done if I hadn’t lost weight and decide to take a chance on a dream. I might have more money, but not the time to enjoy the things I am able to enjoy today, I’ve been told I am a “Renaissance Man” and a late “Gen X’er” living more like a Millennial. Did I really want to go back to spending ten-hour days sitting behind a desk, dealing with angry clients fighting about whatever?
The Answer to “Would I Do It Again” Is a Resounding YES!
Absolutely. I would do it all again in a second. I have met so many wonderful people and enjoyed so many opportunities I never would have had otherwise. I am living a dream, doing what I love. I had to learn to embrace uncertainty and the possibility that the unknown had a lot more to offer me than a predictable life and career. I took a chance and haven’t looked back. I haven’t made a fortune, yet. I’d be making a lot more practicing law, but I have found riches and rewards that far surpass money.
I have counseled, inspired, and helped hundreds of people lose thousands of pounds by changing their lives for the better.
I have seen places and done things I never would have imagined, and I have had the pleasure of sharing my stories with the world. It is so enjoyable talking to audiences and counseling people one-on-one, something I never would have imagined doing back when I was overweight when the thought of sharing intimate details of my life with anyone seemed ludicrous. The reality is, when I stopped looking at the balance in my bank account and watching my stock portfolio going down while the balances on my credit cards were going up, I began to realize I really loved what I was doing. In making this powerful shift in consciousness, the tide began to turn and the abundance of the universe began to reward my efforts—money started coming in.
We Are Here to Stand Out!
The once fat, self-conscious Fred used to prefer to hide out and not open his mouth. It was bad enough that I “stood out” because I was often the biggest guy in the room, I felt like if I said something, I would only be drawing attention to myself, and, unfortunately, after years of being overweight and ridiculed, I knew that many people have a negative perception of overweight people, as if anything I said would easily be negated with something like: “don’t listen to that fat blankety blank.” Often when I did open my mouth, it would be to make a joke about my weight, as if to take a preemptive strike to “clear the air” and “get it out of the way” so that anyone I might be talking to wouldn’t be able to strike first. In speaking before audiences large and small and coaching numerous clients one-on-one, I realized that I do have something to say that people actually want to hear.
I learned how to be comfortable talking about myself and dealing with people in all situations, to field all sorts of questions with poise and aplomb. It’s like learning how to balance when you are learning to walk or ride a bike. It takes practice, but today I am comfortable in practically any situation, and even the most personal or unusual “left field” questions I might get I am able to respond in an appropriate and meaningful way, rather than be caught off guard or taken aback (the deer in the headlights thing). Learning to say that something is “personal” or preferring not to answer or comment is okay. I don’t need to have all the answers, and I don’t need to respond to people and questions that I am not comfortable answering. It is all about learning to put myself and my needs first! I used to always worry about everyone else and their opinions of me and go out of my way to do things for others, while ignoring my own needs, health, diet, etc.
Always Put Yourself First!
I like to use the example of a parent on an airplane traveling with children. Parents are told to put their oxygen masks on first before assisting their kids. It may appear selfish, but truly it makes a lot of sense. What good would the parent be to their children if they were incapacitated? Take care of yourself, do what’s right for you, and then you can help others on this plane. It turns out I am a natural speaker and entertainer who typically throws away the script and does improv, reading my audience and interacting with them. I’m finally comfortable speaking to groups of any size, and find it very gratifying.
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
Losing weight is about a lot more than diet and exercise. We can lose a lot of weight, get to our ideal weight, and still feel miserable. Odds are, if we are overweight, we also carry a host of behaviors and negative attitudes along with the excess weight. These