tended to feel threatened by me and shunned me as a result. That was why all my life my closest confidantes had been male. I’d gotten over it but it still bothered me sometimes. Why should I shrink myself to make others feel more secure around me? What the fuck is wrong with my sisters? I contemplated crossly. Whatever! Fuck them! I pushed my ponderings out of my head with a final thought, their hatred was their issue, not mine.
I turned my attention to the next issue at hand - my man. I wondered what mood he was in today. It was Friday, the beginning of the weekend, time to add up the tally for the week. If he’d made good money on his sales and the spot, he’d be in a good mood. It would be time to party, floss at the club and get fucked up on Moet and Grey Goose, and maybe even pop a couple of pills of ecstasy. If he hadn’t made much money, he’d be irritable and would more than likely take it out on me. That’s just the way he was.
I saw him standing in front of the pool hall talking to a group of girls that couldn’t have been more than sixteen or seventeen. I could tell he was flirting; after all I’d spent the last five years of my life trying to win his heart. The sleeve of his Ralph Lauren Purple Label V-neck was unnecessarily rolled up, exposing his iced out Rolex. The sun sparkled off the two carat rock in his earlobe and the diamonds in the medallion of his thick chain. The girls were obviously enthralled by the display of money and Fabian’s gift of gab. I was all too familiar with his ability to run game. I’d always thought that if he wanted to go legit, he’d probably have no problem being a car salesman because with his muela, he could easily sell a lemon to the most knowledgeable consumer.
Fabian nonchalantly pushed his Fendi shades up his nose, shamelessly flaunting the Roli ring on his finger. He’d bought it to match the watch. It was all about the front, letting the world know that he had money. I quietly walked up behind him hoping to hear what he was saying to the girls.
“You know how I do ladies. C’mon, I’m the infamous, the one and only Fabian. Anytime y’all wanna hang, smoke an L, and chill, y’all just holler at me. Don’t worry, I won’t bite. I might nibble a little but never bite, unless of course you want me too.” The girls giggled flirtatiously but silenced immediately when they saw me leering at them from behind Fabian, my head tilted to the side slightly, hand on my hip, daggers for eyes. They knew very well who I was.
“Fabian’s wifey, yo,” whispered one of them as if I couldn’t hear. “Let’s bounce.”
Fabian turned around and grabbed me by the waist affectionately. “What’s up, mami? I’ve been waiting for you. Where you been? Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve picked you up.”
“It sure doesn’t look like it. Looks to me like you had your hands full,” I responded accusingly, rolling my eyes and curling my lip with revulsion.
“Nah, baby. Just being nice to the custies. You know how it is ma. I gotta make money to spoil my queen, don’t I? Their money buys you the world, boo. Give your pa a kiss.”
“Yeah, whateva,” I retorted but gave him a deep open mouth tongue kiss so everyone could see. I did it more for the group of little girls who were walking away but still glancing back longingly.
“You know you my moon, ma.” Fabian grabbed my full, tight ass and pushed his crotch into mine.
“You’re such a sucio.” I giggled and pushed him away half-heartedly.
“You hitting the gym hard, ma. That ass is on fire, baby,” Fabian remarked, his eyes followed my jiggle as I walked into the store.
¡Que baina! I thought. No matter what he does, he still has that effect on me. Whenever I see him, my heart palpitates, palms become sweaty and I get a knot in my stomach.
I loved him and hated him at the same time. I’d been through so much with him, he’d broken my heart so many times and still I stood by him, taking his shit, hoping like a pendeja that one day soon he’d learn to love me like I yearned and deserved. At least he’s in a good mood, I said silently to myself.
“C’mon baby,” Fabian whispered into my ear as I peered into the glass refrigerator doors trying to figure out what flavor Gatorade to buy. “Let’s go shopping. We gonna hit the town tonight and my mami gotta look fly. Whatever you want, price ain’t an issue. Let’s bounce.” He reached over me to grab a Corona with one hand and groped my breast roughly with the other.
3
Sue’s Rendezvous in Mount Vernon was the strip club to frequent if you were a drug dealer in the tri-state area. They gathered there to talk business, floss their money and ice, and, if they got lucky, take a dancer home for the night.
I gazed at the stripper’s long thick legs as she worked the pole. This bitch is off the hook, I thought, staring at her gyrating, muscular ass. The stripper named Anais made it no secret that she was feeling me. She licked her lips and played with her nipples while staring coquettishly into my transfixed eyes.
Anais leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Love your Dolce dress, bella.”
As she leaned back, she tenderly ran her finger down my exposed cleavage. I shivered, the little hairs on my arms stood on end and my pussy became moist. I felt the E and Grey Goose coursing through my veins. The bass of the house music thumped to the rhythm of my heartbeat. I could feel Anais’s touch down to my toes long after she had moved away to work the group of ballers sitting to my left. She glanced back every now and then to lock eyes with me and throw me a kiss to let me know she was coming for me. I sat there biting my lip in lustful anticipation, discreetly rubbing my hard nipples on the cold, dewy glass of vodka and cranberry in my hand.
I felt Fabian’s hands move up my thigh. “You look devastating in that dress, ma. You see, your papí takes care of you.”
I stared at myself in the mirror opposite me. The dress clung to my perky breasts exposing my lush cleavage and rippled midsection all the way down to my navel. It hugged my small waist and full hips stopping mid thigh to show off my well-developed thigh muscles. I wore strappy Manolo Blahnik stilettos on my French manicured feet. I felt like a diva in the dress and knew I shined. I turned heads the minute I stepped into the joint and relished in the attention, but as soon as Fabian saw that all eyes were on us, he gruffly grabbed my waist and led me around like I was his trophy. I felt like a prize dog on a leash at the Westminster Kennel Club show.
I grazed my fingertips up my defined arm and looked at my man. He wasn’t the best looking man in the world with his thick as bottle bottom glasses and forty pound overweight frame but I loved him and loved the affection he lavished on me when he was mellow, E’ed out and not wrapped up in his feelings. I smiled and kissed his lips. Despite his chubbiness, Fabian made sure he looked dapper wherever he went.
“You look so lindo.” I’d picked out his outfit; a black Gucci cotton silk blend mustique line pinstripe suit complimented by a white Gucci silk button up, diamond butterfly cufflinks and Gucci wingtips.
Fabian saw that I was admiring him and took advantage of the moment. “So that’s the one, ma?” he asked innocently. “She the one we taking home tonight?”
I felt my body tense up momentarily, heat filling my chest cavity. My nostrils flared as I stared at him in disbelief but I quickly calmed myself down and let the soothing effects of the drugs take over. It’s all good for tonight, I thought. I’m in the mood to feel the warmth of a woman’s touch. I looked over at Anais who turned to simper seductively at me. I felt chills run down my neck to the small of my back as I watched the exotic dancer play with her clit through her flimsy g-string. Anais spread her legs and threw her head back in ecstasy, making my mouth and pussy water.
Fabian grabbed my chin roughly and turned my face to his. “What up, ma? It’s like you like her more than you like me. What the fuck is up with that?”
I ran my fingers through Fabian’s curls and let my index finger trickle down the back of his ear. I knew that drove him crazy and would calm him instantly. The last thing I needed was for this nigga to cause a scene.
“Cójelo