very pregnant blonde. “Lexi, this is Megan…my wife.”
I choked on my saliva. “Excuse me?”
“Hello.” She smiled and held out her hand.
I involuntarily pumped it a few times.
Zak spoke again. “Yeah, I’m married. Can you believe it?”
“Uh, no. When did this happen?” I didn’t mean to be so blunt. No, that was a lie. Yes I did.
“We’ve been married ten months. We met last August and…” he turned to her. “It was love at first sight.” Cue the harps and angels. “We were married soon as we could arrange it, only a couple weeks later.”
“And, you’re, um…”
“Yep. We’re having a baby. It all happened so fast. We celebrated our two-month anniversary and our positive pregnancy test on the same day.”
Zak squatted down to Preston’s stroller and held out his hand. Preston giggled and gave him five. “Hi, little guy. Whatcha got there?” He handed over the Elmo. Zak took it and made it dance across the stroller tray. After giving it back, he stood.
“He looks just like you, Lexi.”
I could only nod. This was too weird. Zak, married? Zak, talking to a baby and playing with him? Zak, having a baby of his own? Wait a minute. That couldn’t be possible. He’d had a vasectomy–years ago. Weren’t those permanent?
“I have to go,” I said to the happy couple.
“Okay. Nice seeing you.”
I turned the stroller and bee-lined to the register. I would have rather dashed out the door, but we needed those clothes. The sales clerk rang them up and began folding each item perfectly.
“You don’t have to do that. Just throw them in,” I said, forcing a smile.
The cashier’s eyes bugged out. She placed the remaining clothes in the bag, without folding them, and I practically ran from the place.
Had I awakened in some alternate reality today? This could not be the real world. This pseudo-Zak was nothing like the man I had been with for three years. Even his mid-section bulged a bit. What kind of weird place was this that Zak had abandoned his rock hard abs? He’d cared about those more than anything in his life, even sex. So many nights I’d lain in bed, naked, starting without him so he could pump out a hundred crunches.
God, I needed a drink. Probably not a good idea to take a baby into a bar. I settled for a triple chocolate sundae–extra hot fudge–and some vanilla soft serve with rainbow sprinkles for Preston.
My boy dug into his ice cream without hesitation while I contemplated what had happened. And my brain forced me to think of something I did not want to think about. What if Zak’s vasectomy had been botched all those years ago? Preston could be his kid, not Marcus’s. Everyone always said he looked like me–nothing like Marcus. Maybe because Zak was his father. We’d never had a DNA test done. And Preston was born a whole month early. I might have gotten pregnant a month before my one-night fling with Marcus.
Oh. My. God. How could this be happening?
No. The doctor had told me vasectomies didn’t get screwed up. That was something you only saw on TV.
But couldn’t they be reversed? Yes. I think I read that. I pulled out my iPhone and Googled vasectomy reversal. I clicked on the first website and after scanning the tiny screen, found what I needed:
If the vasectomy reversal procedure is a success, sperm will appear in the semen after a few months, but it could take up to a year. Approximately half of vasectomy reversals are successful.
Months for the sperm to appear. And only half of the procedures were even successful. If Zak had done a reversal, chances of his wife being pregnant so soon were rare. It had to have been an oopsie.
Which also meant Preston could be Zak’s oopsie.
I scanned a few more websites and one caught my eye. A blog post written a year earlier, titled: My vasectomy reversed itself!
I clicked on the link right away.
Five years after the procedure, my wife got pregnant. Unfortunately, my first thought was that she had an affair. What guy wouldn’t think that? After doing the snip, you wouldn’t expect to get your wife pregnant ever again. But before I voiced my thoughts to my hormonal wife, who didn’t want any more babies either, I went to see my urologist. Tests confirmed it: my vasectomy had reversed itself. The tube had grown back together.
Oh, fuck.
Zak could have been pumping me with sperm and didn’t even know it.
I expected to hear that cackle–the annoying laugh alerting me Karma was back, ready to mess with my life again. But all I heard was ice cream and milk being whipped into a milkshake and the tinkle of the door chime every twenty seconds as sweaty New Yorkers came in for a refreshing treat.
Yeah, once upon a time her meddling had been for the better…but this? How could Zak being Preston’s father help anyone? It would destroy my family and screw what Zak now had and was obviously happy with.
And this was so unlike her–hiding like this. She enjoyed showing her face while fucking up my life. Why wasn’t she basking in her success?
* * * *
I took the long way home. Preston had fallen asleep in his stroller, so I walked and walked and thought and tried to stop my brain from freaking out. My text message alert sounded as I reached our building.
Have you listened to Mom’s voicemail yet? We have a wedding, bridal shower and baby shower to plan! Abby
Her texts were always so perfect–grammar and even proper punctuation. It must take her forever to send a message. And why did she insist on putting her name at the end? I knew it was from her.
no. i’ll checkk now
I dialed my voice mail. One new message. I must have missed my phone ringing while I contemplated my child’s paternity.
“Lexi, dear, it’s Mom. I was thinking, we need to get started on planning all these events, especially if you want the wedding to be this October. And a double wedding, at that. My, this will be a challenge. Can you come to the house this weekend? We’ll make a day of it and have dinner. Everyone needs to be here–the bride and the groom, and the other…um, groom and groom. Now, should I call Mrs. Wells and invite her as well? And what about Kevin’s mother? I sure can’t wait to–”
At least this time when the voicemail cut her off, she didn’t call back. I put the phone in my purse and took the elevator to our floor. It was later than I thought. Marcus was already home.
“Oh good. You’re here,” he said. “Rich ran to pick up dinner and Kevin called. He’ll be here soon. We got Chinese–hope that’s okay.”
Preston began to stir and Marcus picked him up, nuzzling their noses together, both of them smiling.
“Uh, yeah. That’s fine.”
No way could I tell Marcus that Preston might not be his. It would crush him–no, worse. He might combust right on the spot. I had to keep it a secret until I knew for sure. And even if I did find out Zak was Preston’s father, would I even tell him then?
“Lex, hello?”
I shook away my thoughts. “Huh?”
“What’s up with you today?”
“Nothing. Hey, I got a voicemail from my mom. She wants to start planning the wedding extravaganza. You up for a Marshall family gathering on Saturday? She wants everyone to be there.”
“Not sure how much help I’ll be, but I’ll go. I figured I’d