* *
The ringing of my phone woke me up. I opened my eyes and looked around. Shorty was wrapped up beside me, so I eased off the bed, trying my best not to wake her. I grabbed my drawers and put them on, then snatched up my phone. I had more miss calls from Shontelle. I glanced at the time. Shit, it was after 10:00 a.m. How the fuck did I let myself sleep this late? I was supposed to be home hours ago. I hurriedly put on my clothes and rushed out the door. I knew shorty would probably be mad when she woke up that I left like that, but I needed to get to the crib.
I tried to prepare myself for the imminent argument. I thought of the lie that I was about to tell, making sure there would be no holes in my story. I called Mel’s number, but it went straight to voicemail. That nigga was probably still sleeping and shit. Fuck it. I threw the phone down on the seat and headed home in Shontelle’s car.
I opened the door and walked in. The house was quiet. I knew it was Sunday, so she wasn’t at work. Plus, I had her car, so I knew she hadn’t gone anywhere. I walked into the room and heard the shower on, so she was in the bathroom. I took off my jeans and got in the bed. Maybe if I pretended that I was sleeping, she wouldn’t bother with the beefing.
I heard when she walked into the room, and a few seconds of silence passed. I was relieved . . . until she broke through that shit with her voice shrill with frustration.
“Where the fuck you been? I’ve been calling your phone all damn night, and you just bringing yo’ ass in here now,” she yelled.
I sat up and looked at her. She was angry and ready for a fight.
“Yo, my bad shorty. I was out with the fellas. We were chilling and shit. I should’ve called.”
“Your bad? You took my fucking car and was gone all night, and all you can say is ‘Your bad’? I done told your ass I’m not going through this with you this time around. Whatever ho you was laid up with, you need to be with ’cause Shontelle ain’t dealing with your shit no more.”
“I told you, I was with Mel and his cousin. I wasn’t wit’ no bitch. I ain’t got time for no bitch,” I yelled, trying my hardest to convince her that I wasn’t fooling around.
“You a fucking liar, boy, and I don’t know why you keep screaming Mel’s name. That nigga’s a whole ho out here. Birds of a feather sure flock together. But I know one thing . . . Them bitches stupid. I’m not staying with no cheating-ass nigga.”
“Shontelle, a’ight, man. Believe what the fuck you want. I told yo’ ass that I wasn’t with no bitch. Goddamn, you acting like my mama, like I can’t go out and hang with the homies. A nigga been gone seven long years. Shit, I need to breathe.”
“Nigga, I’m not your motherfucking mama and never want to be her ass, either. If you feel like you want to be free, you need to go stay wit’ yo’ old trifling-ass mama and leave me the—”
I jumped off the fucking bed and yanked her by the throat. “Bitch, don’t you ever in yo’ fucking life call my mama out of her name. You fucking hear me?”
“Get the fuck off me,” she yelled.
I let loose and shoved her away from me. I played many games, but disrespecting my mama was not one. I understood her ass was mad, but that didn’t give her a pass to disrespect my mama.
“Boy, I’ma call the fucking police on you. You going back to jail, you hear me? I fucking hate you!” she yelled with straight venom in her voice.
She reached over for her phone that was on the nightstand, but I grabbed it up before she could. I didn’t want her to make a dumb-ass decision because she was mad. I mean, yeah, I shouldn’t have put my hands on her, but she knew better than to talk shit about a nigga’s mama. I was starting to see what everybody was talkin’ about. She was gonna get a nigga hemmed up, and I couldn’t take that chance, no matter how much I loved her ass. Right now, though, I had to get her to calm down so we could talk this shit out, or at least so she wouldn’t call the folks on me when I left up outta here.
“Man, shorty, I’m sorry. I snapped. I swear, I’m sorry.”
“Boy, fuck you. You put your hands on me behind your hoes you fucking. Get the fuck out of my house,” she yelled.
“Man, you wildin’ out, and I say I wasn’t with no bitch. I’m sorry I put my hands on you. It ain’t like I hit you.”
“You sound stupid, you know that? Get out now, or I will call the police.”
“A’ight, man, do what the fuck you want.” I threw the phone on the bed and walked out.
I didn’t want to get locked up, but I wasn’t going to beg no bitch. Shontelle’s ass was acting crazy right now, so I needed to let her breathe. She screaming that police shit right now, but she would be the same bitch coming down to the jail telling me how sorry she was.
I walked out of the apartment and dialed my mama’s number. I hated calling her, but shit, I needed a ride. My mama decided to pick me up, so I sat on the stairs, waiting. I was pissed the fuck off. I understood I was out of pocket for coming home late, but that bitch didn’t have to go that hard. I pulled out a Black & Mild and lit it.
I’d been home for a week, and I was already feeling stressed out. One, I needed to get me a fucking ride. Two, I needed to get back on. I couldn’t live like this without no money. My fucking probation officer expected me to get a job. But where the fuck was I going to work? I hoped that bitch didn’t think McDonald’s. I chuckled when I thought about her. Even though she was older, there was something about her that grabbed my attention.
Suddenly, a horn honked. It was my mama. I got up and jogged to her car. As soon as I sat down, she pulled off.
“Boy, you know I got to work tonight. What the hell happened? She must’ve put your ass out.”
“Ma, I don’t want to talk ’bout it, a’ight?”
“Hmmm, I hear you. I have no idea why you ain’t bring yo’ ass home in the first place. I told you, that girl ain’t no good. Not for you to be over there wifeing her up. If you ask me, she just a gold-digging heifer. Boy, you goin’ learn.”
“Mama, just chill. I’m grown enough to choose who I want to be with. I get it. You don’t like shorty, but it ain’t like you have to deal with her.”
“I hear you. My mama used to tell me, a hard head make a soft ass.”
I didn’t want to go back-and-forth with her, so I didn’t respond. See, once her mind was made up, it was hard to change it. I didn’t care if they liked each other or not. I was only trying to get my shit together.
My mind was racing hard as hell. I hated to be out here like this. I needed to get back on my grind real soon so that I could get my own crib. But first, I needed a ride ASAP. This bitch was stuttin’ on me, and there’s no way I was going to kiss her ass just for a place a stay. Ain’t no way . . .
Staying at my mama’s crib was the last thing that I wanted to do, but a nigga got to do what I got to do for the time being. But best believe, I’ma lift up outta here ASAP. Once my mama pulled up, I hopped out of the car and walked into the house. God knows, I knew my mama probably was going to continue preaching. But to be honest, I didn’t want to hear that shit.
Walking into my old room was like déjà vu. I felt like I’d taken a thousand steps backward, and in reality, I had. But a real nigga never stayed down long, so I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was back on my shit, and then it would be my turn to stunt on Shontelle’s ass. As soon as I got my shit together, I knew she would be the main one tryin’a be the main bitch, but there was something that was telling me that I couldn’t trust her ass. I pushed that shit to the back of my mind and lay back in my old bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn’t tell you how many nights I did this when I was plotting on my come-up. It seemed like I had to come all the way back to my roots to get back to where I was. There was something that I had to learn, but what was it? I was thinking long and hard,