looked ready to smash his clenched fist through the wall.
I waved toward the door. “Please leave, Jax. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Another lie. I would never get tired of looking at him. But I was tired of dealing with him. I’d wanted a break for a reason.
“I give it to you straight and you flip.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and cursed.
“No,” I corrected. “You wanted to scare me straight and you’re getting what you wanted. I’m settling for a fuck-only arrangement, but I’ll do so on my time, not yours. I’ll call you when I want you, so don’t bother calling me—I won’t answer. And stop popping up where I am. It’s creepy.”
“Damn it.” Jax stepped forward, reaching for me.
I backed up quickly. “Don’t touch me.”
His dark eyes bored into mine. “You might as well tell me to stop breathing. What the fuck do you want from me, Gia? I’m trying to give you what you’re asking for, and it’s still not enough.”
“Damn right! You set up all those pitfalls and didn’t leave me any way out. Why would I want to take the first step?”
“Living under a microscope is part of my life! I can’t change it.”
“You could’ve said something like, ‘Listen, Gia, sharing my life won’t be easy, but I love you. I’ll do the best I can to make sure our private life is worth the public hell.’ Or something like that!”
“Jesus.” He made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t a goddamned romance novel! I’m just a guy trying to give in to what you want so I can have you.”
As if. He knew what I wanted and he was fighting it all the way. “Well, now you can have your life and me—when I’m in the mood.” I held up a warning hand. “Not now. Believe me. I’ll call you when I get back to New York.”
“Fine. Whatever.” He pivoted and strode to the door, his back stiff and shoulders rigid.
There was still a part of me that wanted to cave, to drag him back and tell him to stay, to sleep with him and feel that incredible intimacy and sensual closeness I’d never felt with anyone else. But we had a lot of thinking to do and we needed time—and space—to do it.
Jax yanked the door open and stepped out to the hallway. I swallowed the words stuck in my throat and reached for my smartphone on the bed, using it as a distraction to avoid watching him leave.
I heard the door shut and closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky exhalation. We weren’t going to recover from this. This was going to change what we’d had. Forever.
“I...”
My lungs seized in surprise at the sound of Jax’s voice.
“I love you. Okay? I love you so much it’s driving me crazy.”
I reached for the desk chair, trying to support my weakened knees. I’d wanted to hear him say the words, but now that I had, they didn’t sink in. I didn’t realize how upset he was until his hands gripped my upper arms and he buried his face in my neck.
“I want you in my home,” he said softly. “I want to wake up to you, go to sleep holding you, to come home from work and eat dinner with you. I want what we had in Las Vegas, but things were different then. I had you all to myself. It’s not going to be that way now.”
I reached up with my right hand and set it over his left. “I get it. I can deal with it.”
“I hope so,” he murmured, turning me around. “Because I’m not going to be able to let you go after this, Gia. For better or worse, you’re mine.”
3
“IF YOU’RE STILL trying to scare me,” I whispered, overcome, “you’ll have to do better than that.”
Jax laughed softly, huskily. “I’m scared enough for both of us.”
He cupped my face, tilting it up to kiss me. The moment his firm lips touched mine, love pierced my heart, making it ache. I caught his waist, pushing up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Heat and hunger slid through me, provoked by the beloved smell of him...the feel of his warmth and hard body...the taste of him.
He groaned, drawing me closer. I’d been starved for him for so long that appeasing my craving seemed impossible. My tongue tangled with his, licking into his mouth, my mouth slanting across his with unabashed ravenousness.
“Come here.” He tugged at the tie of my robe, pushing it open and then down to where my elbows were bent.
I let him go only long enough to allow the sleeves to slide off so the robe dropped on the floor.
“God.” He pulled me into him, molding my naked body fully against him.
The buttons of his vest pressed into my skin, driving home the realization that he was clothed, dressed for work in a way I’d never seen when we were together in Vegas. Turning my head, I looked into the mirror on the wall and shivered at our reflection—Jax, so formal and dark, a dangerously sexy businessman; and me, naked and shameless.
“Look at us,” I whispered, watching as his gaze found us. Watching the lust tighten his face into primal masculine beauty.
His chin nuzzled against my temple, his eyes closing. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So goddamned hot you burn me up. I’m so afraid of fucking this up. Of looking at you one day and finding that you’ve lost that light in your eyes you have when you’re looking at me.”
“Jax.” He’d always made me feel as if no other woman had ever compared to me. But as thrilled as I was to finally have him, the pain he’d put me through still throbbed like an unhealed wound. “You hurt me,” I told him softly. “You broke my heart.”
His forehead touched mine. “I hurt us both. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I have no idea how this is going to play out or how you’ll take to living my life with me.”
“I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, too.” I started on the buttons of his vest, freeing them one by one. “We just have to love each other.”
He tilted his head and took my mouth again, kissing me with such tenderness my eyes stung. His hands slid up my torso, splaying under my breasts with his thumbs beneath the curves. The pads stroked the sensitive undersides, making my nipples harden. I whimpered, begging for a more carnal touch. The deep-seated ache in my core was painful, my sex already wet and ready.
It had always been that way with Jax, as if my body recognized his as the one it’d been built to take.
Jax exploded into motion, picking me up effortlessly and laying me on the bed. The towel wrapped around my hair loosened and fell off. He positioned himself over me, his hands planted at my sides. He ran the tip of his nose up my cleavage. “Tell me you have a condom.”
I bit my lip, regretting that I had to shake my head.
His eyes closed again and he took a deep breath. “I’ll keep my clothes on.”
“Jax...” There was a plea in my voice, because I couldn’t imagine not feeling him inside me. So hard and long and thick.
His head lifted and I shivered at the raging lust in his dark eyes, knowing exactly how it would feel to have it unleashed on me. “There’s no way I’d pull out,” he said, his voice guttural with desire. “No way.”
I opened my mouth to say it was okay...that I was on the pill...that I wanted to feel him come inside me without anything between us...but the doorbell rang, followed by a quick “Room service.”
I moaned.
A pained look crossed his face. Then he laughed softly. “Saved by the bell.”
“Wait—”
But