it all on the desk, he glanced at me as I sat up, my legs stretching out in front of me. “You’re killing me.”
“You deserve it.”
Jax’s mouth curved wryly. “I don’t doubt it. Still, there’s only so much a desperate man can take. I have to get out of here.”
I pouted. “Spoilsport.”
“Get your sexy ass back to New York, and I’ll give you all you can take.” He ran a hand through his hair, restoring order to it. “I’m going to start making the arrangements for your return.”
My brows rose. “You have to make arrangements to fuck me?”
“No, for you to move in. And I have to let you eat so you have the strength for everything I’ll do to you while fucking you.” He grabbed me as I pushed to my feet and gave me a quick, hard kiss. “And if you’re ready to go raw with me, we do it right—in our own apartment, in our own bed.”
I swallowed hard. “I have to talk to my brothers. My parents.”
“We’ll do it together.”
“You’re moving fast for a guy who just had his hand forced.”
A softness came over Jax’s face. “I’ve thought about this for a while. Tried to plan it in my head...come up with a way to make it work....”
“Maybe it won’t be as hard as you think.”
He brushed my damp hair back behind my ears. “The media is going to love you, Gia,” he murmured. “You’re a walking wet dream. You’ve got sex appeal, baby, and a body that won’t quit. They’re going to take a look at you and see me looking at you, and they’re going to imagine hot, salacious monkey sex. And that’s news.”
I shoved at him. “Be serious!”
“They’re going to get it wrong, and think I’m just having a good time with you. They’ll start speculating right away on how long it’ll last. They’ll pair us with other people, inventing news just to have an excuse to publish another picture of you.”
I’d seen it before, with other couples. But Jax and I were different. We weren’t celebrities. I was nobody, and even though he was a Rutledge, he worked behind the scenes of the political circles that had made his family so well-known.
“You don’t believe me.” He rubbed his temple against mine. “You’ll have to trust me. I’ve seen what can happen. I’ve seen the stress rip people apart.”
A niggling suspicion spurred me to ask, “Someone you cared about?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
Jax pulled back and I saw that he’d shut down. “She checked out,” he said tonelessly. “I’m not going to let that happen with you.”
My fingers flexed into his lean waist. It was hard thinking about Jax loving someone else. It was harder still thinking about his former lover hurting him so deeply that he’d pushed me away to avoid becoming vulnerable again.
He kissed my forehead. “When are you coming home?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“All right. See if we can’t get together with your family that night. We’ll get you moved in the next day.”
I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump, without any idea of where I might land. “You’re making my head spin.”
Backing up a step, he winked. “Just returning the favor, babe.”
* * *
“You’re miles away.”
The sound of Chad’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him sitting in the seat next to me on the plane and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Should I be worried?”
I shook my head. “It’s personal.”
His brows rose. “Good for me, maybe. Not so good for you it looks like. Wanna talk about it?”
I debated just how personal I wanted to get with Chad, then asked, “Have you ever lived with a girlfriend?”
“Not really. There were one or two who spent a lot of time at my house, which was convenient as far as sex went, but wasn’t great for privacy or hanging with the guys. I figure I’ll save that kind of commitment for marriage. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just thinking I agree with you about the commitment level.”
The amusement in his eyes faded. “Rutledge asked you to move in?”
“Something like that.” Told me was more like it, but...
He took a second. “I may have a problem with that.”
“Oh?” I twisted in my seat to face him more directly.
“You’ve known this guy a couple years, you said. But he only starts putting the heat on after you start working with me? He helps to break up my deal with Stacy, then follows that up with nabbing Isabelle. Now he’s wanting to share digs with you, the gal that’s got all my info and knows all my plans?”
Taking a deep breath, I processed what he’d said. “The day before yesterday, you seemed easier with it.”
“I’ve been doing some thinking.”
Okay. Crap. I felt like I’d been blindsided. “I don’t think it’s personal. In fact, I know it’s not. Jax always says business should never be personal.”
“It’s personal to me,” he shot back. That hit home. I’d said something similar to Jax when he’d thrown that line at me. “And it’s personal to Stacy. She’s not just going to want to succeed—she’ll want to be better than me. Have more than me. She’s going to want to prove that I made the wrong decision, and he’s on her side! Pembry’s got a lot riding on her. They’re going to want to keep her happy.”
He wasn’t wrong, damn it all.
“It works both ways,” I pointed out quietly. “I’m going to know what he’s into, too.”
I hadn’t really thought of my relationship with Jax that way before, as a situation that required tiptoeing around issues. Hadn’t wanted to. I wanted things with us to be real and straight and beautiful. But everyone I worked with wasn’t in sync with that hope, including Jax. Of course, Jax expected the hits to come from the outside, but no matter what, it seemed as though I needed to be a little more realistic about what being with Jax was going to entail.
You’re swimming with sharks....
Chad assessed me. “No offense, Gianna. But Rutledge might be out of your league.”
“Oh, he is for sure. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle him. That said—” I took a deep breath “—if you want someone else to spearhead your projects with Savor, I’d understand.”
His lips pursed. “I hate to say it, but that might be best.”
* * *
I’d planned on heading straight into work after landing at LaGuardia, but decided to stop at home first instead. My conversation with Chad had rattled me and I really felt as though I needed some time to pull myself together before going in to face Lei.
I slid open the large metal front door to the loft and found two of my brothers on the couch, playing a video game.
“Catch that one, dude,” Angelo snapped, jerking his controller to the right. “Come on! Fucker’s about to take me out.”
“Hang on.” Vincent surged to his feet, frantically hitting buttons. “I’ve got six of them on me.”
I paused on the threshold, feeling so