Melanie Milburne

Sydney Harbour Hospital: Lexi's Secret


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on-off smile as if he was uncomfortable with praise. Perhaps he was worried about operating on someone to whom he had a connection, Lexi thought. Not that he had ever met Bella before, but he had been intimately involved with Lexi. Clinical distance was paramount in life-and-death surgery. A surgeon could not afford to let the pressure of a relationship, no matter how distant or close, interfere with his clinical judgement. She hoped her involvement with him in the past wasn’t going to complicate things for Bella.

      ‘I’ll keep you informed on things as we go along, Bella,’ Sam said. ‘You’ll stay in the medical ward until your health improves. If a donor becomes available and you’re healthy enough, we’ll move you across to the transplant unit. Otherwise we’ll send you home until something comes up.’

      ‘Thanks for everything, Mr Bailey,’ Bella said blushing again. ‘I really appreciate you taking me on.’

      Sam smiled and gave Bella’s shoulder another gentle touch. ‘Hang in there, Bella. We’ll do all we can to get you through this. Just try and keep positive.’

      He gave Lexi a brief impersonal nod as he left with the nurse to continue his rounds.

      Lexi didn’t even realise she was holding her breath until Bella looked at her quizzically. ‘It’s not like you to be so quiet when there’s a handsome man in the room,’ she said.

      Lexi felt her face heating and tried to counter it with an uppity toss of her head. ‘He’s not that handsome.’

      Bella raised her brows. ‘You don’t think? I thought you had a thing for tall muscular men with dark brown eyes.’

      Lexi gave a dismissive shrug. ‘His hair is too short.’

      ‘Maybe he keeps it short for convenience,’ Bella said. ‘He’s in Theatre a lot. Any longer and it would get sweaty under the scrub hat during long transplant operations.’

      Lexi made a business of folding each sheet of the tissue paper into a neat square, lining them up side by side on the bed.

      ‘He’s got nice eyes, don’t you think?’ Bella said.

      ‘I didn’t notice.’

      ‘Liar, sure you did,’ Bella said. ‘I saw you blush. I’ve never seen you blush before. That’s my specialty, not yours.’

      ‘It’s hot in here,’ Lexi said, fanning her face for emphasis. ‘How do you stand it?’

      ‘Did you notice his hands?’ Bella asked.

      ‘Not really …’ Lexi remembered how those hands had felt on her body. How they had lit fires under her flesh until she had been burning with a need so strong it had totally consumed her. Those hands had wreaked havoc on her senses from the first moment he had touched her. She opened and closed the hand he had taken in his just minutes ago. The tingling pins and needles feeling was still there …

      ‘He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring,’ Bella said.

      ‘Doesn’t mean he’s not involved with someone,’ Lexi said, feeling a tight ache in her chest as she pictured his partner. Would she be blonde, like her, or brunette? Or maybe a redhead like Bella. Would she be a doctor or nurse? Or a teacher perhaps? A lawyer? ‘Dad’s got a new girlfriend,’ she said, to change the subject.

      ‘Yes, Evie told me.’

      ‘I haven’t met her yet.’

      ‘I don’t know why he bothers introducing them,’ Bella said with an air of resentment. ‘None of them stay around long enough for us to get to know them.’

      ‘Dad’s entitled to have a life,’ Lexi said. ‘It’s not like Mum’s ever going to come back and play happy families.’

      ‘You always defend him,’ Bella said irritably. ‘You never let anyone say a bad word about him.’

      ‘Look,’ Lexi said, hoping to avoid the well-worn bone of contention between them. ‘I know he’s not perfect but he’s the only father we have. The only parent when it comes down to it. Mum’s not much use.’

      ‘Maybe Mum couldn’t handle Dad’s philandering,’ Bella said. ‘Maybe it wasn’t just because I was sick. Maybe she was left on her own too much and couldn’t cope. Maybe she wouldn’t have left if he had offered her more emotional support.’

      Lexi knew Bella felt terribly guilty about the breakdown of their parents’ marriage. Her illness had taken its toll on everyone, but their mother had been the first to abandon ship, taking the contents of the drinks cabinet with her. Miranda Lockheart flitted in and out of their lives, not staying long enough to offer any stability or support but just long enough to remind them of what they had missed out on.

      But blaming their father was not something Lexi had ever felt comfortable doing. He had always been there for her. He was her stronghold, the person she looked up to, the person she craved approval from more than any other.

      ‘Dad has always tried to do his best,’ she said. ‘He was meant to be a father, not a mother. He couldn’t do both.’

      Bella gave a weary sigh. ‘One day you’re going to find out that Dad has clay feet. I just hope I’m around to see it.’

      Lexi shrugged and then tried another subject change. ‘Have you had any other visitors?’

      ‘Phone calls or texts mostly,’ Bella said with a despondent look on her face. ‘People get sick of visiting after the first week. It happens every time. Maybe it’ll be different once I’ve had the transplant …’

      Guilt struck at Lexi like a closed fist. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get in yesterday,’ she said. ‘Matthew’s mother wanted me to look at wedding-cake designs. Her sister has already made the cake. Now we just have to decide on the decoration. Matthew wants something traditional but I was thinking we could so something more along the lines of …’

      Bella was frowning as she looked into space. It was as if she hadn’t heard a word of what Lexi had been saying. ‘Sam …’ she said. ‘Sam. It’s really been bugging me. Why does that name sound so familiar?’

      Lexi felt her stomach drop again. ‘Sam’s a popular name.’

      ‘I know but it’s more than that,’ Bella said, frowning in concentration. ‘Bailey. Sam Bailey. Bailey. Sam Bailey.’

      Lexi closed her eyes. Please, no.

      ‘Oh. My. God.’

      Lexi winced as she opened her eyes to see Bella’s saucer-like ones staring at her. ‘Wh-what?’ she choked.

      ‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ Bella asked. ‘It’s the same Sam Bailey. The Sam Bailey you had that naughty little teenage fling with that made Dad almost blow a fuse. Oh. My. God.’

      ‘Will you please keep your voice down?’ Lexi hissed.

      ‘It’s not like you’ll be able to keep it a secret,’ Bella said. ‘Not for long and certainly not around here. People have long memories and they just love a bit of juicy gossip. You’d better let Matthew know. You don’t want him getting into a flap about an ex-lover turning up out of the blue.’

      Lexi turned away to look out of the window, crossing her arms over her body as if that would contain the pain that was spreading like an ink spill through her. Was she deluded to hope no one would remember their past connection? Who else would link their names and start the gossip all over again? How would she cope with it a second time?

      No one knew about the baby.

      No one.

      At least that secret was safe.

      But everything else was out there for everyone to pick over like crows on a rotting carcass. All the intimate details of her brief relationship with Sam would be fodder, grist for the mill of gossip that SHH was renowned for. She would be painted as the Scarlet Woman, the scandalous Lolita who had lured Sam away from his