is it?’
She sighed. ‘I suppose not.’ She sipped her coffee moodily. ‘Give me the perfect scenario, then, Einstein, and I’ll try and work with that.’
A frown crossed his face and she saw him rearrange his features to hide it. It was so brief that she almost missed it. She couldn’t place what it meant, but then apparently it meant nothing because he carried on as before.
‘To maximise your chances of a yes, if you’re asking the average man to marry you, you need to look hot as hell and you need to do it somewhere quiet without friends or family present, and last but not least you need to do it before you have sex. Definitely not afterwards.’
Lucy almost choked on her coffee. At the mention of sex from Gabe when she felt so mixed up about him she felt a blush creep up slowly from her neck and fought it with all her might. She took a bite of her sandwich to buy time and steady herself, looking down in the hope that the blush would subside and he wouldn’t notice. When she felt able she spoke in what she hoped was her normal voice.
‘Just as a matter of interest, why not afterwards?’ she ventured. ‘I would have thought that was the perfect time to do it. When you’re all loved up and everything’s wonderful.’
Gabriel patted her hand sympathetically and she felt as if electric shocks raced through her fingers at his touch. The thought struck her abruptly that she wasn’t sure she could remember a time when she’d jumped like that at Ed’s touch, even when they’d first met. She tried to concentrate hard on the conversation.
‘Like I keep saying, Lu, you need to start thinking like a man. Before you’ve had sex you hold all the cards, you have the power, he’ll hang on your every word. Afterwards, if you manage to get him to stay awake, anything you say will seem less important to him than going to sleep. It’s basic biology.’
Lucy made a disgusted face. ‘You lot are emotionally backward,’ she complained.
Gabriel laughed out loud. ‘We’re just different, that’s all. If men thought the same way as women Ed would have asked you to marry him months ago. Don’t you think that makes life seem dull?’
‘No! I think it makes perfect sense!’
Gabriel looked at his watch again and she felt her temper slip a notch.
‘Gabe, what is your problem? You seem to be desperate to avoid me at the moment and it’s getting on my nerves. Is it too much to ask for you to focus for half an hour on one conversation with me?’
He didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘Just busy, you know,’ he said vaguely. ‘I need to make a move.’ He made as if to stand up, then for some reason he clearly thought better of it and sat back down. He looked flustered and uncomfortable and she was on the brink of asking him why when he leaned in unexpectedly and covered her hand with his. Her heart leapt involuntarily inside her chest and her pulse increased.
‘Lucy, I really think you should reconsider all this, you know,’ he said urgently. Her mouth felt suddenly as dry as sandpaper. Just what was he going to say?
‘What do you mean?’ She tried her best to keep her voice calm, although she felt oddly as if she might start shaking at any moment.
‘I’m your friend, Lucy. I’m going to be totally honest with you. You might not like it but I can’t help that.’
Her heartbeat seemed to be getting louder. She could hear it inside her head.
He looked into her eyes. ‘I think you want to get married and settle down because you didn’t have a settled childhood. You want to build your own little happy ever after. The fact that you’re surrounded by Ed’s mates in a social circle all playing happy families makes you want it even more. I can understand that, but I think you need to be sure it’s what you really want, for the right reasons.’
She looked at him, puzzled. Whatever she’d expected him to say, it wasn’t this. ‘What exactly are you suggesting?’
He took a deep breath. ‘I think you should talk to your parents.’
The words fell on her like rocks. She stood up before she even knew that was what she was going to do. Her chair fell backwards with a clatter at the force of her movement. How could he? How hard it had been to start again without them. After the years she’d spent cutting them painfully out of her life. Managing by herself. And he’d been there through all that. All the times he’d backed her up, given her strength in her conviction that it was the right thing to do, that they would hold her back and drag her back down and that she could make a life for herself, she really could. She was suffused by confusion and cold anger.
She wiped her lips with a trembling hand. ‘I can’t believe you are suggesting I actually talk to them about this. My mother the three-times-wed, most irresponsible, self-centred woman in the universe. My father the lush. Just what the hell makes you think either of them is qualified to advise me on how to successfully live my life?’
‘I’m not saying they are. It just seems to me you’re so hung up on this dream of two-point-four kids and a dog that you’re losing sight of the fact that that doesn’t automatically make you happy. This is because of your parents—any amateur psychologist could see that.’
‘Even if it is, why is that so wrong? With a childhood like mine I certainly know what I’m not going to do and that’s pretty much everything they did!’ Her temper was completely out of control now and she was distantly aware that she was shouting.
Gabriel kept his voice calm and soothing, but to her it just sounded patronising. ‘Lu, you had no security as a kid. That’s why you’re craving it now.’ He opened his mouth to continue but she cut him off.
‘You’ve obviously taken temporary leave of your senses,’ she snapped. She snatched her bag from the floor and then rounded on him. ‘I asked for your help, Gabriel. Your help. All I wanted was some pointers on what might make a guy tick, some ideas on how I might propose in a fun way that Ed would like. I didn’t ask for a critique of my life as I know it and I certainly didn’t expect the suggestion that I undo all the changes I’ve made for the better. After everything they put me through. And everything I’ve done to put it right. You’re meant to be my friend. Some friend!’
‘Lucy…’ His voice was shocked but she ignored it and turned to walk towards the door, leaving him standing at the table looking after her. ‘Lucy, wait!’
She turned back towards him, oblivious to the interested stares from the other customers and the silence that had fallen as they turned to watch and listen. ‘Just stay away from me!’
The door slammed behind her as she stormed from the café.
LUCY ignored the ringing telephone and took another batch of cupcakes out of the oven. The little kitchen in her flat was filled with the sweet smell of baking and cooking utensils were balanced on every available surface. Her hair was in an untidy bun on top of her head and the front of her T-shirt was dusted with flour because she couldn’t be bothered to put on an apron. A couple of hours since her argument with Gabriel and at last she felt calm and focused. Cooking always did that for her. If she ever needed to think something over she gravitated to the kitchen. A lucky side-effect of her anger seemed to be heightened creativity. Some of her best cake creations had resulted from the most stressful moments in her life.
She glanced up as her mobile phone beeped and vibrated loudly on the counter with a text message, and she leaned across to turn it off with a jam-covered finger. She didn’t even need to look at it to know it was Gabriel. He had never been able to stand it for long when they had an argument. She, on the other hand, preferred to keep her distance until she calmed down, and depending on the subject of the argument that could be anything from a few hours to a few days.
What he’d said about her parents had