those days.
“What’s up?” she asked casually, but he caught the throb of emotion in her voice. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him, and he couldn’t blame her.
“I got a call from Jared Marshall this morning. He’s asked us to participate in career day at Minoa High School tomorrow afternoon.” There, he’d gotten it all out in one long breath. Short and succinct. No mincing words.
Her eyes narrowed. “Us? You mean the entire crew?”
“No, just you and me.”
She exhaled a huff and gripped the armrests with both hands, her fingers whitening. “Can’t you get one of the guys to go with you?”
“Sorry, but the FMO wants you and me. He wouldn’t negotiate on the issue.”
Her lips tightened. “But why me?”
He paused, trying to remember the speech he’d rehearsed numerous times. With her sitting here, the words dropped right out of his brain and he floundered. Tessa had always had that effect on him. The first time he’d seen her, he’d been left speechless for over an hour. “Jared asked specifically for you.”
“I still don’t understand,” Tessa said.
“He believes as the only female on the team, you’ll do better to highlight your work as a woman wildfire fighter. As the superintendent of the crew, I’m to accompany you. It’s a recruitment trip, but also to build our public relations.”
“I’d rather not participate.”
Her candor didn’t surprise him. From the start he’d always known just where he stood with Tessa. No pretending. No games. Just pure honesty.
“I understand that, but it’ll still be you and me. That’s what the FMO wants, and that’s what we’ll give him.” Sean had argued the point with Jared, too, reminding the FMO that things weren’t good between him and Tessa. Instead, he’d suggested that Harlie or Tank accompany him. But Jared had been adamant that Sean take Tessa.
No one regretted this last-minute assignment more than Sean. Trotting down to the local high school for career day would provide an opportunity to recruit future firefighters for the crew. For some reason kids on the wrestling team made good firefighters. But going with Tessa was not Sean’s idea of fun. He dreaded spending the afternoon with her quiet, questioning eyes.
She hesitated, her spine straightening. He didn’t know what he’d do if she refused. A wave of heat flashed over him as he waited for her response. Nerves tingled at the back of his neck. The room seemed to close in on him. A barrage of regrets swamped his mind. More symptoms of PTSD, but he fought them off.
She lifted her shoulders, her forehead crinkled in dismay. “I don’t know how to talk to a bunch of teenagers. What am I supposed to say to them?”
“Just tell them what you do. What your days with the crew are like. Tell them about your work as a hotshot. What you had to do to get here. What you do to stay in shape. That kind of stuff.”
Her gaze lowered to the papers scattered across his desk and she licked her lips. “I’d rather not go, Sean.”
Sean. She’d finally spoken his name again. It had been so long since she’d said it that hearing it from her lips startled him.
“It’ll be okay. You’re a natural with kids, Tess. Remember that time when we watched little Brittney while her mom drove her dad to the hospital?” Sean asked.
Brittney was the infant daughter of Tessa’s neighbor. The baby’s father had sliced his hand on a bread knife and his wife had rushed him to the emergency room in Reno for stitches. Sean and Tessa had spent four enjoyable hours babysitting little Brittney before her mommy came home. It’d been a great evening Sean would never forget, but he wished he hadn’t brought it up now. That event seemed so far away. A defining moment that had made him realize he wanted kids. Oodles of them.
She looked away as though his reminder bothered her, too. “Brittney was easy. She was just a baby.”
“You’ll do fine,” Sean insisted.
She shook her head in resignation and Sean felt a sudden chill in the room that had nothing to do with the whoosh from the swamp cooler. Her gaze swept over him, her eyes filled with misgivings. Being near her was a constant reminder of their broken trust.
“Just be yourself and tell the kids about your job. You’ll do great,” he said with a half smile.
“Okay, fine.” She stood and turned toward the door, walking as though the weight of the world rested on her slim shoulders. And he supposed that it did.
He let her go. He longed to call her back. To tell her everything was going to be okay. But things weren’t okay, and Sean could never mend the rift between them.
The following morning Tessa wore her usual navy blue T-shirt with the Minoa Hotshot logo imprinted on the left front side in white lettering. She also wore her matching baseball cap, work boots and spruce-green pants. That was her uniform when she wasn’t fighting wildfire.
She’d pulled her long hair into a ponytail that fit perfectly through the hole at the back of the cap. As she walked out into the main yard of the hotshot base, she hoped they’d get called out on a wildfire. Then she wouldn’t have to go with Sean to the high school.
It didn’t happen.
At one o’clock she climbed into the passenger seat of the supray, the crew’s nickname for the superintendent’s white pickup truck. Dressed the same as her, Sean waited patiently in the driver’s seat while she clicked on her seat belt. Avoiding the bright glint of sunlight through the windshield, she stowed a bag of pamphlets beside her on the seat for their presentation to the kids. They’d briefly talked earlier, just to make sure they’d be in sync with their presentation, but it didn’t help a lot.
“All ready?” Sean flashed a smile, his strong hands resting on the steering wheel.
“Yes.” She stared out her window, purposefully avoiding his eyes. Being alone with him like this made her feel nervous and jittery. Like she should say something to him, but she didn’t know what. Her heart felt too heavy for words and she figured she’d already said enough. Now it was his turn to talk, although she doubted he’d ever address the topic that was weighing so heavily on her mind.
He started the ignition and put the truck in gear. Gravel crackled under the tires as he pulled out of the yard. As he moved into traffic, her tension eased a smidgen. At least they were doing something productive. Something to take her mind off what was really bothering her.
“Remind me again. How many minutes will you want me to take in my presentation?” she asked without looking at him.
“About ten. They asked us to spend twenty minutes total. It shouldn’t take long.”
Good. A quick in and out. Easy peasy.
“I’m hoping we might be able to recruit some wrestlers for the crew. They’re usually strong and in good physical condition,” Sean said.
“Yeah, that would be good.”
A long pause of silence followed.
“Is your mom still working in the pediatrics office?” he asked.
Tessa blinked, hardly able to believe he was trying to make small talk with her. “No, she retired three months ago.”
His brows spiked. “Really? I figured she’d stay working forever. I know she loved her job as a nurse.”
“She did, but she’s getting older. And losing Zach changed her priorities. She wants to do something besides work all the time,” she said.
Mom’s priorities had changed just like Sean’s had changed. Though her