his chest. “Maybe. How do you play it?”
Shane got on his hands and knees. “Like this. We all pretend to be horses.”
He looked over at Ryan. “What does a horse say?”
“Neigh!” A wide grin split his face as he made the sound. Ryan also got on his hands and knees and started crawling around the floor. “Neigh,” he said again.
Shane looked over at Dylan. “Are you going to join us?”
“What if I want to ride the horse?”
If it had just been Ryan, Shane would have gladly agreed. But with the way he’d seen the boys fight before, he wasn’t sure he wanted to open that can of worms. And yet, the way Ryan looked at him, he didn’t have the heart to say no.
“You and your brother have to take turns.” He sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to set the alarm for five minutes. You can ride on my back until it rings. Then it’s Ryan’s turn.”
“Can I wear your hat, like a real cowboy?”
He looked over at Ryan, who was still wearing his hat. “I already said Ryan could wear it. So you’ll have to ask him.”
Dylan reached for the hat, but Shane put his hand out. “You can’t just take it. You have to ask.”
“Can I have a turn please?”
Ryan smiled and took off the hat. “I be horse. You be cowboy.”
And just like that, Dylan put the cowboy hat on his head, then climbed on Shane’s back. They pranced around the room like horses, and Dylan was surprisingly gentle. Maybe what he had experienced before had just been a bad day. The way the boys played and cooperated with him, it brought back pangs of regret at how things had ended between him and Gina. Helen had always told him that he could meet someone else and have children with her, but the options for meeting young, marriageable women in Columbine Springs were next to zero. He’d been lucky to have found Gina.
He liked to think he would have made a great father.
But as much as these boys reminded him of that dream, this time he wouldn’t get attached. He wasn’t going to let himself fall in love with a couple of kids that couldn’t be his. And he certainly wasn’t going to let whatever misguided feelings he had for their mother make himself want something he could never have.
* * *
Watching Shane play with her sons brought tears to Leah’s eyes. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Jason do that with them. Maybe Dylan, when he was small. But so much of their trouble began when she was pregnant with Ryan that the boy had never really bonded with his father. She liked how Shane got on the ground with them and played.
A sound behind her made Leah turn.
“He’s good with them, isn’t he?” Nicole asked. “There’s nothing more heartwarming than seeing a man interact with children like this.”
Leah smiled at her sister. “Yes. But don’t go planning any weddings. I know how that mind of yours works.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. That was the old Nicole. Until recently, I believed in happily ever after, and I thought I was doing everyone a favor by shipping them. But now I have to wonder, who is it possible for? None of us seem to have figured it out, and I found out that another one of my friends is getting divorced. I don’t think forever means what any of us think it means.”
Leah put her arm around Nicole and gave her a quick hug. Out of the three sisters, Nicole had always been the optimist. But that optimism had been replaced by a deep cynicism that made Leah want to cry. At least Erin had enough optimism for them all. How her sister managed to find happiness after so much heartbreak, Leah didn’t know. But at least they all had each other. One of the therapists had asked Leah about her resiliency, and Leah had told her quite honestly that she wouldn’t have been able to make it without her sisters. She only hoped that she was doing the same for them.
“Thanks,” Nicole said. “I don’t mean to be such a downer, but Fernando called again today. It drives me crazy that he keeps thinking he needs to check on me and make sure I’m okay. He’s not the one who ran off with my fiancé on my wedding day. I wish he would leave me alone instead of constantly calling and trying to make it up to me.”
This was one subject Leah knew better than to disagree with her sister on. Fernando Montoya’s sister, Adriana, had been Nicole’s best friend. At least until Adriana had run off with Nicole’s fiancé, Brandon, leaving Nicole at the altar. Unfortunately, Adriana and Brandon were killed in a car accident before Nicole could confront them. Apparently, Fernando had known about the affair and felt guilty he hadn’t done more to stop it. With Adriana and Brandon gone, Fernando liked to check in with Nicole regularly to make sure she was doing okay.
Maybe they all were a bunch of curmudgeons who couldn’t accept help from anyone else. Though Leah thought Fernando’s concern was sweet, she could also understand why her sister wanted him to leave her alone.
They’d all been hurt too much by the people who were supposed to be there for them. It was too exhausting to keep believing in anyone outside their circle.
“I’m sorry he’s still bothering you. It’s probably his way of dealing with his grief. It just stinks that he has to keep dragging you through it.” She hoped her words sounded helpful and not condescending. After all, it wasn’t like she was an expert on human behavior. Otherwise, her life wouldn’t be in shambles.
Nicole squeezed her back. “It’s not your fault. I should be more firm in telling him to go away. But I don’t have the heart to, not when I know he’s also grieving.”
Her sister might have lost her optimism, but she hadn’t lost her heart. And if there was anything that gave Leah hope that things would work out all right for them, it was that all three of them remained steadfast in their belief in doing the right thing. So, what was the right thing when it came to the man who was interacting with her boys in a way they so desperately needed?
Leah entered the room, swallowing her pain as she firmly told herself that she could enjoy the gift of this moment.
“What are you guys doing?”
A wide grin filled Ryan’s face. “We play horse.”
Shane started to sit up, but Dylan grabbed his neck. “The phone didn’t ring yet. It’s still my turn.”
Reaching around and patting Dylan on the leg, Shane said, “He has a point. I told the boys we could play horse, and I set a timer to let them know when their turn was over. You don’t mind waiting until we finish, do you?”
She often used that tactic with them, giving them clear boundaries with which to set their expectations. It was nice to see that Shane automatically did the same. The only other person to do it was Nicole, and she had taught preschool for a living.
“Not at all. I’ve got to finish the garlic bread, and Erin isn’t back yet. You guys finish your game, then you can join us in the kitchen.”
She barely got the assent from Shane because the three of them had already jumped back into their game.
As she returned to the kitchen, Nicole linked arms with her. “I know we’ve all sworn off men, but it’s nice to see a man who will play with the children for a change. Half of the moms in my classes complained that the dads weren’t very active with their kids.”
“Yes, but just because he’ll entertain a couple of boys for a few minutes doesn’t mean that’s how he’ll be as a father.”
Nicole sighed. “True. It’s amazing how people change when you get to know them. I’m sure when you and Jason first got together, you would have never imagined how things would end up.”
No, she hadn’t. Nicole had been the one to get a call from a concerned neighbor the first time Jason had been passed out, high on drugs, and the boys were screaming. Leah had