rest of her coffee, then looked at her sister. “We should get back. The boys probably have Nicole tied up by now. And we should discuss what’s next with her.”
Erin nodded. “You’re right. We’ve tossed out ideas, but it’s not fair to not include her. I know she was really in love with the idea of having some Highland cows. And chickens.”
“And horses and goats,” Leah said, grinning. Nicole had been the most excited about having a ranch. She might hate the idea of leasing the land and not making a go of things on their own.
Shane stood and gathered their trash. “You can still have animals. I’d be happy to help repair the chicken coop. It shouldn’t take much since Helen had chickens up until about a year ago.”
There he went again, being helpful.
“Yes, it will,” Erin said. “And while we appreciate all your offers, we don’t want to take advantage. You’d be surprised at how capable we are of taking care of ourselves. Leah has already done a lot of work on the ranch. You wouldn’t believe how good she is with a set of tools. It’s amazing how much the three of us can do when we work together.”
At least Leah wasn’t alone in wanting to do as much as they could on their own. The women had discussed their frustration at feeling helpless at the end of their respective relationships. It was good for them to do things for themselves.
Shane nodded like he understood. “I’m always happy to lend a hand. That’s what neighbors do.”
Neighbors. Leah’s had all pretty much abandoned her when Jason had begun his downward spiral. Her sisters hadn’t seemed to have had any to speak of, at least none who’d befriended them. Helen used to talk about being neighborly, and Leah vaguely remembered barbecues and picnics. But she wasn’t sure how to translate that all into her life now.
She wanted to believe the expression of kindness on his face, but where would trusting him get her? She’d been hurt and heartbroken too many times already. Holding out hope for someone who was probably only going to let her down was a waste of effort. Leah had her sisters and her sons, and that was enough.
It had to be.
Though the invitation had been friendly enough when it had been issued, Shane couldn’t help feeling unwanted when he arrived for dinner later that week. It wasn’t that they had put out a mat in front of the door that said Go Away, but they might as well have.
Leah ushered him into the kitchen with a frown so deep, it almost made him wonder if someone had died. But since all his previous attempts at humor had gone astray with her, he wasn’t going to mention it. The house was quiet, and while he would have liked to have asked about the boys, that also hadn’t gone well the last time. Usually, he got along with everyone. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t connect with Leah.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, hoping he sounded friendly and nonthreatening.
With most people, he’d have given up by now. But he couldn’t forget the sadness in Helen’s voice whenever she’d talked about her girls and the difficulties they’d had in life. He wanted to think that whatever kept them so closed off was more about the tragedies they had suffered than anything he had done. But maybe it was a good place to start a conversation.
When the shake of her head was accompanied by yet another scowl, he knew he couldn’t let it go.
“Have I done something to offend you?”
She stopped, holding the pitcher she’d just brought over to the sink. “No. Why do you ask?”
“You seem distant. Like you don’t want me here. You’ve barely said a word to me, and everything I can think of saying to you, I’m afraid it will only make the distance greater.”
Leah looked genuinely wounded by his words. Like he’d called her out in a harsher way than he’d intended.
“I’m sorry,” she said, setting the pitcher on the counter and wiping her hands on her apron. “It’s been a rough day. Erin is interviewing at a nearby ranch to do their books, and Nicole ran to the store for more bread. The boys are asleep on the couch, and when you got here, I was focused on being quiet so they wouldn’t wake up.”
He followed her gaze as she looked around the kitchen and realized that the room was in shambles. “I’d hoped to have everything cleaned up before you got here, but time got away from me.”
She gave a small shrug, then pointed at the oven. “But at least dinner is cooking, and that part I know will be all right. If you can bear with me, I promise it will get better.”
A small cry came from the other room. Leah rubbed her head. “I’d hoped they would sleep a little longer, so I could get things cleaned up.”
Shane felt guilty for having judged her. Now that he was really looking at her, he could see the signs of an exhausted mother trying to do her best.
“I’ve already gathered that you don’t like accepting help, but please, tell me something I can do to make it easier for you until your sisters get here.”
Ryan walked in, wearing a shirt and nothing else, carrying a diaper. “I all wet,” he said.
“Let me help you, buddy. Can you show me where your mom keeps your diapers?”
Leah looked like she was going to argue, but Shane shook his head. “I’ve changed a diaper or two in my lifetime. I’ve got this. You finish doing what you need to get dinner ready. I’ll keep the boys occupied.”
He could see her hesitation, but then Ryan pointed at his cowboy hat. “I wear hat?”
Her resigned sigh felt less like a victory than he’d wanted, but at least she nodded. “Thanks.”
“Let’s get you in some clean, dry pants, and then we’ll see about fixing you up with my hat.” Shane held his hand out to the little boy, who grinned.
“I be cowboy!”
As he took Ryan’s hand, he could see the tension ease from Leah’s face. It was hard to tell what was going on in her mind, but at least she seemed more relaxed. She turned back to the sink, and the little boy led him out of the room.
They walked down the hall to the bedroom Helen had used when she had gotten sick. The hospital bed had been taken out, and two twin beds neatly made with denim-looking bedspreads dominated the room. Ryan pointed to a dresser that had a stack of diapers and wipes on top of it.
Though it had been a while since Shane had changed a diaper, he managed to get the little boy situated quickly. When they were finished, Ryan pointed to Shane’s hat.
“I wear hat now?”
Shane took off his hat and placed it on the little boy’s head. “Here you go, partner.”
“I ride da horse?”
“I didn’t bring him today.”
His face scrunched up, and with a pang, Shane remembered the fit his brother had thrown. Was he in for the same with this little guy? Ordinarily, Shane would feel confident in his ability to handle it. But considering how nervous Leah had seemed at letting him watch her son, he didn’t want to mess it up.
It was a mistake, getting so emotionally involved with this family. He shouldn’t care so much about Leah, but he knew that telling himself he was just being neighborly was a lie. He was an idiot, wanting to fix a woman who was so obviously broken. Why couldn’t he be attracted to the ones who didn’t seem to need him?
Shane squatted down in front of Ryan. “How about we play horses instead?”
“How do you do that?” Dylan stood in the doorway, the same suspicious look his mother often wore upon his face.