the three fantastic weeks they’d spent together...then she only ever had to say that and he’d leave her alone.
She hadn’t, and every time she looked at him, her eyes said the exact opposite was going on. She was attracted to him, liked him...but still held herself out of reach.
She’d only gotten as far as the small circle of shops situated on a paved area above the beach. Trent slowed to a walk. She sat on a wrought-iron bench, hunched over with her face in her hands.
He sat beside her and leaned his forearms on his thighs. “Tonight was a bad idea. Sorry.”
Slowly, she lowered her hands and turned to face him. The silver tracks of her tears shone beneath the streetlight beside her. “I don’t want to go on like this.”
It was painful to see her blue eyes so full of anguish, confusion and pain. He tilted his head toward her hand. “May I?”
She nodded. Releasing his held breath, Trent lifted her hand and put it on his thigh, holding it tightly. Despite the warmth of the night, her fingers were like ice. He rubbed them against his jeans to warm her. “I miss him too, Iz. There was nothing I, or any of us, could’ve done. If for one minute I could’ve saved him, don’t you think I would have?”
“That doesn’t make it any easier for me to be around you.”
“But it isn’t just me, is it?” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to sound accusatory because he wasn’t. It was up to Izzy how she dealt with the grief emanating from her, but that didn’t make it any easier for him to stand by and let her push him and her friends away. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Iz, but if you won’t give me a chance to be there for you, can’t you at least let Kate back in?”
She slipped her hand from his and stared ahead. “I just need some time, that’s all.”
“It’s been three months. We’re just trying to be there for you.”
“How much time I need is anyone’s guess, but I’m not ready to sit around chatting and laughing as though Robbie’s still here.”
“No one’s asking you—”
“Trent. Please. Just let me do things my way.”
Frustration and helplessness rolled through him. “Why can’t you give us another chance?”
“It’s too complicated.”
“Complicated? I’ve never found anything less complicated.”
Her gaze darkened. “Maybe not the first time around, but it would be different this time. If you don’t understand that—”
“I don’t, so you need to explain it to me.” He hated pushing her, but she needed to say the words clearly before he could accept what was in her heart and mind.
She exhaled a slow breath. “When my parents left...or when I demanded them to...” She shook her head. “They tried so hard to reach me, Trent. Tried to help me through my grief, but in the end none of us were strong enough for the other. Mum and Dad resumed their careers and I was alone. I just don’t trust... Not anymore.”
“You don’t trust that I won’t leave you alone too one day?”
Her gaze bored into his until she looked away into the distance. “Maybe. Those few weeks we were together weren’t enough to make me believe you’ll always be around. I have no one left. I’m not in the right mind to give myself to anyone at the moment, let alone a firefighter. You run into danger every day.” She faced him, her eyes filled with determination. “I can’t deal with that. I don’t want to deal with it.”
“But what about before Robbie died?”
“There is no before Robbie. All I have in my head is since Robbie. How can you not see that?”
He exhaled, lowered his voice in an effort to soften the battle going on inside him. “We were great together. Or did I imagine that? Were you not there with me?”
Her gaze ran over his face, lingered a moment at his mouth before she met his eyes. “I was there. All the way there. That was part of the problem. You’re a great guy and I know if things don’t work out...or if you get hurt working...” She shook her head. “Right now I’m way too needy for someone like you.”
“Needy? You? Iz, you’ve proven over and over how much you stand on your own two feet. Being with someone doesn’t make you needy, it means you’re living. Taking risks.”
Her eyes shadowed with sadness before she looked away once more. “That’s just it. I don’t like risks and never will. You’re completely the wrong guy for me. You’re too...”
Trent tensed as the minuscule shred of hope he had left of being with her snapped and pinged across the pavement in front of them. “Too what?”
She turned and her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Too something. I need to be able to blame you. To blame someone for what happened. If I don’t, if I accept that Robbie’s death was nobody’s fault, then all I’m left with is this irrational anger. What if I can only feel anger all the time? Why would you even want to be around someone like that?”
He stared into her eyes, desperate to gently ease her head to his shoulder and let her cry until she had no more tears, but she’d never allow that to happen. She was too independent. Too strong.
“It will get easier.” Trent swallowed as memories he kept deeply hidden resurfaced. “You won’t believe me right now, but it will.”
“Don’t say that. I’m sick of people telling me that. How can you, someone who has seen people die, burned and scarred, say this will pass?” She pushed to her feet and looked around as though seeking escape. “I’m going home. Thanks for tonight. At least I got out of the apartment for a while and now know working all the time is exactly what I need to do.”
She turned away and Trent let her take a few steps before he released his held breath. “My sister died in a fire when she was twelve. That was the day I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”
She came to an abrupt halt but didn’t turn around.
He stared at her turned back and stood. “It’s your choice what happens now, Iz. You have some decisions to make, but think very carefully if you still want me and everyone else to stay away. The one thing I can guarantee is that your loss won’t get easier if you try to deal with it alone.”
Slowly, she faced him. The music from the beach boomed, the screaming and laughter mocking and twisting his heart. He wanted to turn around and tell them to shut up. To stride across the space separating him from Izzy so he could take her in his arms and be the one to get her through her pain.
Her chest rose as she took in a breath. “What?”
“My sister. She died in a fire too.”
“I never knew...”
“Because I never told you, Robbie or anyone else in the Cove. I’m telling you now because I know what it’s like, Iz. I’ve felt every single thing you’re feeling and I hate that you won’t let me be with you.”
She stared for a long moment...and then she ran to him.
Trent scooped her into his arms and covered her mouth with his. He kissed her with everything he had. Her lips were soft, her tongue eager and commanding. He held her close and relished the fullness of her breasts pressed against his chest. Her hands moved over his shoulders to the nape of his neck. She clung to him, and for one blessed minute Trent allowed himself to believe someday Izzy Cooper might come to want him as he wanted her.
“Take me home.” She stared into his eyes, her body trembling.
“What?”
“Take me home. Make love to me.”
His heartbeat quickened and every muscle in his body tensed with desire and