was it that, after years of schooling herself to be professional and detached, she continually failed to do so in this situation? What was wrong with her?
* * *
Conner had studied Kate as she slept through the lengthening night hours. She was a beautiful woman with a serenity about her that intensified her beauty.
Familiar sounds of the house settled for the night and the little sleeping noises Ellie made were all that broke the silence. The quiet gave him time to review the events of the day. Like how Pa had reacted when he saw Ellie.
Conner, hoping to delay the questions in his pa’s face, had cradled Ellie in one arm and faced his father and brothers. “Pa, Dawson, Logan, meet Ellie.”
“Howdy,” Pa said and his brothers had each touched the baby’s hands, tenderness in their eyes and curiosity on their faces.
“Why are you holding her like you own her?” Pa asked.
“Yeah, Conner, you can’t bring babies home and keep them,” Logan said. “They aren’t like puppies.”
“Where’d you find her?” Dawson asked.
Conner had plucked Thelma’s note from his back pocket and handed it to Pa. Logan and Dawson read it over Pa’s shoulder. Then three pairs of shocked, disbelieving eyes came to him.
“She’s yours?” Pa’s voice rang sharp enough to make Conner cringe inside. He’d never let anyone see him cringe on the outside.
“No.” It took a minute to convince them Ellie was not his daughter.
“Then why?”
Conner repeated his worry that the baby was in danger. “It’s best if no one knows the truth until we can find Thelma and know why she did this.”
“In the meantime, who is going to look after her?” Pa asked. “Is Annie back?”
Grandfather grunted. “He knows nothing about babies. Thinks they’re like calves. If not for Kate...” He shook his head.
Conner’s confidence in caring for Ellie grew with each feeding, thanks to Kate. Like Grandfather said...if not for Kate. A rod of tension had eased when she agreed to stay the night.
He didn’t know how long he’d been watching her when her eyes opened and their gazes connected. She blinked away her sleep and she sat up, instantly awake. Her gaze darted away from him. Likely she wondered why he watched her so intently.
“You deserve to marry and have a family of your own.” He blamed the fact that they were alone, the room lit only by a lamp, for his rash words.
She jerked her wide-eyed gaze back to him. “That will never be. I am going to become a doctor.” She bolted to her feet.
He caught her hand before she could escape. “You could also be a wife and mother.”
She shook her head. “I know I couldn’t do justice to both roles. Doctors can’t count on being there for family events. I should know.”
The truth hit him like a sledgehammer. “Did you feel you were less important to your parents than their work?”
She tugged at her hand, but he wouldn’t let her get free. She shook her head and turned away.
He knew as surely as he breathed that her life had been full of loneliness and uncertainty. “Oh, Kate.” He felt her pain and confusion as if it were his own and his voice cracked with emotion.
He could not stand to see her so distressed and pulled her close, pressed her face to his shoulder, Kate in one arm, Ellie in the other. His throat tightened. His chest clamped tight so that it hurt to breathe. Why must people be wounded and suffer such pain? Little Ellie so weak because of neglect or illness. Kate feeling neglected by her parents if even for a noble cause.
She shuddered and tried to sit up, but he pressed her back, not ready to let her leave his arms. “I want to hear all about it.”
“They were only doing their job and I understood that. Their dedication was why Grammie sent me to them. ‘You’ve the gift of caring,’ she said to me. ‘Promise me you won’t waste it.’ And I won’t.”
She pulled away and Conner, feeling the depth of her resolve, let her go even though he longed to persuade her that she could make other choices. A promise given to her grandmother when she was a young child should not control her into adulthood. Surely her grandmother would want her to choose what suited Kate best.
“We all must do what we must do.” Her tone was flat as if the final word had been spoken on the subject. “Just as you must marry Thelma.”
“Thelma?” He’d forgotten about her. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he didn’t love her. Perhaps he never had, though it had devastated him for her to walk away without a backward look. It no longer hurt.
He tried not to think of the many reasons she would have sent the baby to him and said it was his—none of them reassuring. A cruel husband and father, choosing her profession over her own baby, or worst—she had died and just before her death arranged for the baby to be taken to Conner. If she was alive and unmarried, would he marry her to give the baby a home? He studied wee Ellie. She certainly deserved a loving, supportive family.
But he could not tell Kate the truth about her or the baby until he found Thelma and straightened things out.
“Time to feed her again.” With a great deal of dignity in every step and in the way she held her head, Kate went to the kitchen.
Conner leaned back. He must tell her the truth about Ellie...that he wasn’t the father. How would she react? Would she welcome the news? He closed his eyes and forced himself to think sensibly. Why would it matter to her? She’d been clear that she had no interest in anything but pursuing her plans to become a doctor.
From Grandfather’s room came a rumbling snore. Bedsprings creaked upstairs as someone rolled over. Outside a horse whinnied softly. From a nearby hill came the yipping of several coyotes. The moon shone through the window, giving a silvery glow to the room. So calm and peaceful. Unfortunately the feeling did not reach his heart. His thoughts tangled with questions about Thelma and why she had sent Ellie to him and a yearning from deep within.
He sat up and met Ellie’s gaze. This tiny little girl was the reminder he needed. He was not going to allow himself to care for a woman who didn’t put him and family life ahead of dreams of what some might see as bigger, better things...like being a singer. Or a doctor. How had Kate put it? She saw it as being nobler.
He had a baby who needed him. And then there was Thelma. Whatever Thelma’s situation, she had done the right thing and sent Ellie to him, no doubt knowing Conner and the entire Marshall family would see that this little one was well taken care of. His life was quite complicated enough at the moment.
Kate returned and gingerly took Ellie from him. Her movements were stiff and unnatural and he couldn’t deny it hurt a little to know she tried not to touch him.
She returned to the armchair and spoke softly to the baby.
Conner caught only a few words...enough to know that Kate informed the baby she was going to eat well and get strong and healthy.
Ellie seemed fascinated with all the things Kate saw for her in the future and drank steadily. Finally, she turned away and smacked her lips.
Kate held the feeding bottle toward the lamplight and gasped. “It’s half gone.” She sprang to her feet. “Conner, Conner. She took half a bottle of milk.”
“She did?” Conner grabbed Kate by her upper arms. “Really and truly?”
“Really and truly.” Kate laughed. “She’s taken a turn for the better.”
“That’s wonderful.” Conner’s voice caught. The good news filled him with an overwhelming sense that the world was a good place. “God has answered our prayers.” He pulled Kate close, the baby