passed quickly and Kate wakened the baby.
“She’s weaker.” His voice cracked. “Wasn’t she supposed to be getting better by now?”
“It’s a fine balance between getting fluid into her and not overtaxing her strength.” She tried to get the baby to swallow, but her head lolled and her eyes had a distant unfocused look to them.
“Sing to her again,” Kate said. “It makes her more responsive.”
“I find it hard to believe you don’t beg me not to, but if it helps Ellie, I’ll do it.” He again sang the words of the lullaby.
The baby turned her eyes toward Conner. Kate leaned close to feed her some sugar water. Ellie swallowed without urging.
“My grandmother used to sing that to me,” Kate said.
Conner stopped. “I remember my ma singing it to Annie and then Mattie. I expect she sang it to me, but I don’t remember.” He thought of the number of times he’d heard her crooning to his little sister and his niece. Memories of his ma and her steadfast love almost choked him.
“I don’t recall my mother singing to me either, but then I was young when she passed away.”
The baby stopped swallowing as soon as Conner stopped singing. Kate pointed it out to him and he turned back to Ellie and sang again the same lullaby. Only, he added his own words to the tune. “Didn’t I hear that your mother died when you were fourteen? Did I misunderstand?” he asked Kate in a singsongy voice. He was curious about this woman and wanted to know more about her.
* * *
She didn’t normally talk to patients or their parents about herself, but she rather found she wanted to tell him about her parents.
“My birth parents died from a fever when I was four. I went to live with my Grammie, but she wasn’t well. Dr. and Mrs. Baker cared for her until she died when I was ten. She asked them to adopt me and they did. Grammie said I had a gift for healing and helping and wanted the Bakers to help me follow that path.” Why had she said that? He surely wasn’t interested in why she’d chosen this goal. “Mother died four years later. It’s just been me and Father since.”
He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”
The knot in her chest disappeared at the comfort of his warm palm.
He shifted his attention back to the baby, removing his hand from Kate’s for her to squeeze out a drop of sugar water.
“So you’re following your grandmother’s and your parents’ dreams.”
“Their dreams? No, I’m following my dream.”
He nodded, though she couldn’t say if he was satisfied with her answer or not. Nor did it matter. She knew what she must do. What she wanted to do.
“You’re an only child?” he asked.
“I am.” Why did the answer trouble her? It wasn’t as if she’d minded having no siblings.
“Were you ever lonely?”
“My mother often accompanied my father as his assistant. When I was younger, I was left with the Bramfords next door. There were eight children in their family. Two girls about my age. Younger brothers and sisters and an older brother and sister. I was not lonely at their place.” She told him more of the big, rambunctious family.
“There wasn’t time for games or parties at our house. Most of my parents’ time and activities involved taking care of the sick and injured and reading the latest medical journals.”
Conner’s expression grew serious.
Kate realized he might have misunderstood the way she described her parents. “I loved being involved with their work.”
“I can’t imagine being an only child,” Conner said. “When we moved out here, my brothers and sister were my only playmates and companions. When Ma died, we helped each other through it. We’ve been through a lot—the death of Mattie’s ma and—” He broke off.
She wondered if he’d been about to mention Thelma, but he did not continue.
Instead, he turned back to Ellie, singing a familiar hymn.
Kate slowly brought her gaze to his. Her head was only inches from him. She could make out the flecks of silver in his blue eyes. She could see his pupils narrow. Could hear the sharp intake of his breath.
She forced her gaze to shift and concentrated on the baby. “Were her dreams more important than giving Ellie a home?”
She couldn’t imagine letting a child of hers out of her sight. How many times had she watched her mother and father leave on a medical call and felt so alone? Even when she was surrounded by the large family next door, whom she stayed with in their absence. It was the reason she had made the decision not to try to combine being a doctor with being a wife and mother. That, and realizing that men weren’t willing to share her. After Edward, other men had as quickly stopped calling on her when they learned of her plans. She agreed with their evaluation. She knew it was fooling herself to think she could be a wife, a mother and also a doctor.
Conner’s singing stopped and his voice flattened as he answered her question. “It would appear Thelma’s dreams were more important than caring for Ellie, though for all I know she has married someone else.”
“Then why...?” She broke off. If Thelma had married before the baby was born, her husband would be the legal father of the child, even if Ellie was Conner’s offspring. It was not—she reminded herself—her business.
“Then why would she send the baby to me?” He shrugged. “That’s something I aim to find out.”
The baby had stopped eating and her eyes had closed.
Kate sat back on the chair that she’d dragged next to the couch. “She did well this time.”
“You sound hopeful.”
“I am. Why don’t I take her and you can take a break? Maybe get a drink, stretch your legs.”
He hesitated as if he didn’t want to leave the baby. She understood his concern. Ellie was so fragile. “I’ll watch her carefully.”
Conner nodded and she lifted the baby from his warm arms, wrapped the blankets about her and cuddled her close. The feel of a baby in her arms tugged at her lonely heart. If only she could believe she could follow her dream and enjoy a family.
But she knew the cost would be too high both for her children and herself. To leave them to tend others... She shook her head, ignoring the ache behind her eyes.
She must stick to her convictions.
* * *
“I need to take care of my horses.” Conner bolted for the door. He had chores to do. But more than that, he needed to get outside where he could think.
Yesterday, he’d been breaking horses and making plans to sell them to the right owners, making money to buy more animals. Soon, he hoped to be the best horse dealer in the country. That would make him a valuable part of the Marshall Five Ranch. Not, he argued with himself, that he wasn’t now. But it would make him more important. Able to contribute more.
How had he gone from there yesterday to here today, holding a tiny baby in his arms and neglecting his horses?
And watching Kate hold Ellie and croon over her. Kate’s brown hair was almost a match for Ellie’s. They had similar brown eyes. They could have passed for mother and child. The thought made him break his stride. He knew of her plans to be a doctor. Did becoming a wife and mother fit into those plans? Not that it mattered to him one way or the other.
He yanked off his hat and rubbed his head. How had things gotten so mixed up? Had Thelma married? If so, why had she sent the baby to him? And why was the little one doing so poorly? They needed to find her and get some answers from her. He’d send a message to his