inside. He grabbed for it instinctively and found himself staring at an infant swaddled as tight as a papoose in a blue blanket. He caught himself grinning at the sight of that tiny, red, scrunched-up face.
So, Jordan was a daddy, he thought, amazed by the shaft of pure envy that shot through him. He’d known the baby was due any day now. Kelly had kept him apprised of every detail of her pregnancy, including his older brother’s bemusement at the natural childbirth classes she’d insisted he take with her. He wondered if Jordan had made it through the delivery or if he’d fainted at Kelly’s first big-time contraction.
He closed his eyes against the tide of longing that rolled over him. He was missing so damned much, he thought, once again cursing Melissa for the betrayal that had made staying in Texas where he belonged impossible.
He was missing seeing his other brother Luke and his wife Jessie’s little girl grow. Angela had turned two back in December. Kelly had sent a picture of her with her face streaked with icing and her fist in the middle of the chocolate birthday cake with its two, fat pink candles. He’d tucked it in his wallet, along with the snapshot of Kelly’s daughter from her first marriage, Dani, a little con-artist-in-training who could persuade penguins to buy ice, if she was of a mind to. Now he opened his wallet and inserted the tiny picture of this latest addition to the family.
He stared at the brand new baby one last time and wondered if he’d ever see him. He’d been named Justin James, according to the information on the birth announcement.
“We’re going to call him J.J.,” Kelly wrote in the note accompanying the card. “We can’t wait for you to see him. Jordan swears he hasn’t slept a wink in the past week. I don’t know how that can be, since I’m the one up every time the little monster screams in the middle of the night. I haven’t noticed Jordan pacing the floor alongside me. I think he’s been sleeping with a pillow over his head deliberately, so he can claim he never hears J.J. crying. He swears he only wakes up after I’ve already left the bed. The silver-tongued devil says it’s missing me that wakes him. He thinks a line like that will make me more sympathetic to him. Fat chance.
“No, seriously,” he read on, “your big brother has been a huge help. I think he’s a little awed by fatherhood…or maybe it’s just that mountain of diapers he’s expected to wash every night.”
Cody chuckled at the image of his button-down brother, the big-time oil company executive, changing diapers and warming bottles. Maybe he was taking to it better than any of them had anticipated, including Jordan himself.
“We’re scheduling the baptism for the end of the month and we expect you to be here,” the letter continued. “No excuses, Cody. It’s time to come home.”
It’s time to come home. Kelly’s words echoed in his head, taunting him, reminding him that nothing would ever make this beautiful, sprawling Wyoming ranch into home. Lance Treethorn was a kind, decent man. He’d become a good friend. His daughters were real little angels and they treated Cody like one of the family. Even so, it wasn’t the same. Not that a little thing like being homesick mattered. Even though his heart ached for the life he’d left behind, he knew he could never go back. He’d rather eat dirt than get within a hundred miles of the traitorous Melissa ever again.
It had been over a year since he’d left Texas, eighteen months to be exact, but not even time had cured him of the rage that had sent him away from everyone and everything dear to him.
Mention Texas and he didn’t think of his beloved White Pines, didn’t think of his parents or his brothers, much as he loved them all. The only image that inevitably came to mind was of Melissa Horton. Sometimes not even an entire bottle of the best liquor in the store could blot out the memories of the woman who’d betrayed him with his best friend.
Even now the vision in his head of Melissa was so vivid he could practically feel the silky texture of her skin and the soft flow of dark auburn hair through his fingers. He could practically smell the sweet summer scent of her.
But along with the sensual memories came the blinding rage, as powerful now as it had been on the day he’d left Texas for good. Accompanying that rage was the anger and frustration of realizing that he was, in part, responsible for what had happened. Maybe if he’d told her he loved her, she wouldn’t have turned to Brian Kincaid in the first place. Maybe if he’d had a clue just how much she mattered to him, instead of taking her for granted, he wouldn’t be lying awake nights aching for her. He’d been a fool. She’d been a cheat. Quite a pair, the two of them. Maybe he deserved to be this miserable. She certainly did, though he had no idea if she was. She could be happily married to Brian now, for all he knew.
Before he’d realized what he was doing, he’d ripped the note inviting him to the baptism of Jordan and Kelly’s baby to shreds. He couldn’t allow himself to be tempted back, not even by something as important as this. He would not go back to Texas. Not now. Not ever.
The decision was firm, but it left him feeling heartsick and more lonely than he’d ever felt in his life. He was almost glad when the ring of the phone shattered the silence. He grabbed the receiver gratefully.
“Hey, boss, what’s up?” he said, knowing it would be Lance Treethorn on the other end of the line.
The widowed father of three young girls, Treethorn had his hands full with trying to run the ranch and raise his daughters to be proper young ladies. He’d succeeded with the oldest. Janey was as prim and proper and dutiful as a father could ever want, but the two younger ones, ten and twelve, were terrors. Cody didn’t envy the thirty-five-year-old man trying to get them raised and married without calamity striking.
“We got the herd rounded up today,” he told Lance. “We only lost one more to the cold.”
“Thanks, Cody, but I didn’t call for an update.”
Something in Lance’s voice triggered alarm bells. “What’s wrong?” he asked at once. “Are there problems with the girls?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. We’re all fine, but you had a call here at the house.”
“I did?” He’d given the Treethorn number only to Jordan, with a direct order that it never be used except for a dire emergency. He knew his brother would never break that rule. His heart thudded dully as he waited for whatever bad news Jordan had imparted.
“Call home,” his boss told him. “It sounded pretty urgent. Your brother asked how quickly I could get a message to you. Obviously Jordan still doesn’t know you have a phone in your cabin.”
“No,” Cody admitted, grateful that his boss had never asked why he insisted on having such a buffer between him and his family. Lance was the best kind of boss, the best kind of friend. He was scrupulously fair. He lent support, but never asked questions or made judgments. There had been no hint of criticism in his voice when he’d commented just now on Cody’s decision to keep his private phone number from his family.
“I’m sorry he bothered you,” Cody apologized anyway.
“You know damned well it’s no bother. I just hope everything’s okay at home. Give me a call if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Thanks, Lance.”
Cody hung up slowly, thinking of the tiny picture that he’d placed in his wallet only moments earlier. Had something happened to Justin James? Or to Kelly? Why else would Jordan call? Damn, but he hated being so far away. What if…He allowed the thought to trail off.
“Stop imagining the worst and call,” he muttered out loud, finally forcing himself to dial his brother’s number, knowing that this call, whatever it was about, would shatter whatever distance he’d managed to achieve from his past.
Jordan picked up on the first ring. His voice sounded tired and hoarse.
“Hey, big brother,” Cody said.
“Cody, thank God. I was worried sick you wouldn’t get the message for days.”
Jordan, the most composed man Cody had