do you know what I’m thinking?” Melissa asked defensively.
Mabel shook her head, her tight gray curls bouncing at the movement. When Mabel had a permanent, she meant it to last. She’d been wearing the exact same hairstyle as far back as Melissa could remember. It did not suit her pinched features.
“I been reading you like a book ever since you set eyes on Cody Adams way back in junior high school,” Mabel informed her huffily. “You seem to forget how many times you sat right here at this very counter making goo-goo eyes at him.”
Melissa chuckled despite her irritation at the unsolicited interference. “‘Goo-goo eyes’? Mabel, exactly how old are you? A hundred, maybe? Not even my mother would use an expression like that.”
The older woman, who was probably no more than sixty, scowled at her. “Don’t matter what you call it, the point is you’ve been crazy about that boy way too long and just look where it got you.”
Melissa sensed the start of a familiar lecture. Listening to it was the price she paid for having a job that paid enough in salary and tips to keep her financially afloat and independent. She didn’t have to take a dime from her parents.
“Okay, I get your point,” she said, trying to avoid the full-scale assault on her sense and her virtue. “Drop it, please. I probably won’t even see Cody.”
She was bright enough to know it would be far better if she didn’t. Her life had taken some unexpected twists and turns since he’d left, but it was settling down now. She was at peace with herself. There were no more complications, no more tears in the middle of the night over a man who didn’t love her—at least, not enough—and no more roller coaster ups and downs.
No way did she want to stir up old memories and old hurts. One look into Cody’s laughing brown eyes and she couldn’t trust herself not to tumble straight back into love with him. She’d clearly never had a lick of sense where he was concerned.
Now, though, the stakes were way too high. Now she had more than her own heart to consider. She had someone else to protect, someone more important to her than life itself—Cody’s daughter, the child he didn’t even know he had.
The entire family was walking around in a daze. Cody had never seen them like this, not even when Erik died. He supposed they were all following Harlan’s lead. His father hadn’t spoken more than a word or two to anyone. He hadn’t eaten. He wasn’t sleeping. He had refused a sedative prescribed by the doctor. Not even his unusually subdued grandchildren, tugging on his sleeves and competing for his attention, drew so much as a smile. He looked haggard and lost.
On Saturday morning Cody found Harlan in his office, staring at nothing, his complexion a worrisome shade of gray. Cody walked over and perched on a corner of his desk.
“Hey, Daddy, are you doing okay?”
Harlan blinked, his gaze finally focusing. “Cody, have you been here long?”
The vague question startled Cody. Normally nothing went on at White Pines that Harlan didn’t notice. “Actually, I got here yesterday.”
His father’s lips quirked for a fraction of a second. “Hell, I know that. I haven’t lost my marbles. I meant now. Have you been standing there long?”
Relief sighed through Cody. “Nope. Just walked in. Everyone’s been looking for you.”
“Must not have been looking too hard,” Harlan grumbled in a manner that was more in character. “I’ve been right here all night long.”
Cody was dismayed. “You didn’t sleep?”
“Off and on, I suppose.”
“Daddy, you should have been resting. Today’s going to be rough enough without facing it exhausted.”
His father shrugged. “I couldn’t go upstairs.”
“Damn,” Cody muttered. Why hadn’t any of them thought of that? Of course it was going to be hard for their father to spend time in the suite of rooms he had shared for so many years with his wife. It was hard for the rest of them just being in the house where their mother had reigned over every last detail. “I’m sorry. I’ll go upstairs and bring some clothes down for you. It’ll be time to go to the church soon.”
He had barely reached the door when his father’s voice stopped him.
“How could a thing like this happen?” Harlan murmured.
His choked voice sounded too damned close to tears. Cody was shaken by that as he hadn’t been by anything else in his life.
“We were supposed to have so many years left,” Harlan went on. “I had promised your mother we’d travel, that we’d see all the sights she’d been reading about over the years.” He glanced at Cody. “Did you know she gave up a trip around the world for her college graduation to marry me? I promised to make it up to her one day, but I never got around to it.”
Guilt sliced through Cody. His departure had kept them from going on those trips. His father had had to take over the running of White Pines again, just when he’d been ready to indulge all of his wife’s fantasies.
“You can’t think about that,” Cody told him, partly because he couldn’t bear to think about it, either. “You’ll make yourself crazy. Think about the years you did have. You made Mother very happy. She loved being your wife. She loved being mistress of White Pines. She was wild about all those fancy ancestors of yours.”
“She loved you boys, too,” Harlan added quietly. “Oh, I know she didn’t pay you the kind of attention she did me. I regret that. I regret that you all thought that meant she didn’t love you.”
At Cody’s expression of shock, he added, “Don’t deny it, son. I know you boys couldn’t help feeling that way. Catering to me was just your mama’s way. When you were little, I don’t think she knew quite what to make of you. She was an only child. She wasn’t prepared for the chaos of four rambunctious boys. But she cared about you and she was so very proud of the way you all turned out.”
“Even me?” Cody asked, unable to prevent the question from popping out. He hated what it said about his insecurities. He had feared that turning his back on White Pines would cost him whatever affection either of his parents felt for him.
Harlan chuckled. “Are you kidding? You were her baby. There wasn’t a day since you’ve been gone that she didn’t worry about you and how you were getting along, when she didn’t tell me how she missed hearing you thundering down the stairs or raising a ruckus in the kitchen.”
“She hated it when I did those things,” Cody protested.
“Only until they stopped,” Harlan said softly. Sorrow had etched new lines in his face. The sadness behind the comment emphasized them.
Cody watched with amazement and new respect as his father visibly pulled himself up, gathering strength from some inner reserve that had been severely tested in the past few days. He stood, crossed the room and put a comforting arm around Cody’s shoulders, sharing that strength with his son.
“Come on, boy. Help me figure out what to wear, so I won’t put your mama to shame.”
Together they climbed the stairs and went to prepare for the funeral of the woman Cody had adored and on occasion admired, but until just this morning had never understood.
* * *
Melissa watched the clock above the soda fountain ticking slowly toward noon. She would not go to Mary’s funeral. She would not! If she did, she would be going for all the wrong reasons.
Drugstore owner and pharmacist Eli Dolan came out from behind the prescription counter, then peered at her