dizzier. She couldn’t think about Luke without reliving that awful encounter. The condemnation and disgust in his eyes. The confusion. And her own impossible behaviour.
She hadn’t brought him to her bed to set him up, the way Luke had so obviously thought. She’d been acting out of need and maybe even desire—at least at first. When she’d touched him she’d felt something unfurl inside her, something that had been desperately seeking light. But then it had all gone wrong, as it always did. The moment she was stretched out on that bed she’d gone numb. He’d become just a man who wanted something from her, and he’d get it, no matter what. She’d give it to him, because that was what she did.
Except he hadn’t taken it, which made him different from every other man she’d known. Why did that thought scare her so much?
He obviously didn’t think she was different. She could still see the look of disgust twisting Luke’s features, the condemnation in his eyes when he’d opened the door to the bathroom. He thought she’d been doing drugs. And then those damning words, words she felt were engraved on her heart, tattooed on her forehead. Impossible to escape.
You’re Aurelie.
For a little while she’d thought he believed she wasn’t but now she knew the truth. He might want her to be different on stage, but he didn’t think she could really change as a person.
Aurelie with a folk ballad and guitar was just another act to Luke Bryant, a successful one that would help with his stupid store openings.
And as long as she remembered that, she’d be fine. No more longing to reach or be reached. To know or be known. No more giving in to that fragile need, that fledgling desire.
This was business, strictly business, a chance for her to validate her career if not her very self. And that was fine. She’d make sure it was.
Aurelie straightened, briskly checked her reflection for the sixth time. She looked a little pale, a bit drawn, but overall okay. The lime-green shift dress struck, she hoped, the right note between fun and professional. With a deep breath, she left her suite and went downstairs to meet Luke.
The tropical heat of the Philippines had hit her the moment she’d stepped off the plane, and she felt it drape over her once more as she stepped outside like a hot, wet blanket. Luke had texted her to say he’d meet her in the patio bar and she walked through the velvety darkness looking for him, the palm trees rustling in a sultry breeze, the sounds of a vibrant and never-sleeping city carrying on the humid air.
She found him sitting on a stool by the bar, and everything inside her seemed to lurch as she looked at him. He wore a slightly rumpled suit, his tie loosened, and in the glint of the bar’s dim lighting she could see the shadow of stubble on his jaw. His head was bowed and he held a half-drunk tumbler of whisky in his hand. She stared at him almost as she would a stranger, for he looked so different and yet so much the same. So sexy.
Then he glanced up and as he caught sight of her it was as if that sexy stranger had been replaced by a mannequin. His face went blank, his eyes veiled even as his lips curved in a meaningless smile and he crossed the patio towards her.
‘Aurelie.’ He kept his gaze firmly on her face, that cool, professional smile in place. He didn’t offer her a hand to shake or touch her in any way. Stupidly, she felt his chilly withdrawal like a personal rejection.
No, she would not let this be personal. This was her chance at a comeback, and to hell with Luke Bryant.
‘Luke.’ She nodded back at him, tried to ignore the painful pounding of her heart. This didn’t hurt.
‘Would you like a drink?’
‘Just sparkling water, please.’
Luke signalled to the bartender and ushered her towards a private table tucked in the corner, shaded by a palm tree.
‘Trip all right?’ he asked briskly. ‘Your suite?’
‘Everything’s lovely.’
‘Good.’
The bartender came with their drinks and Aurelie sipped hers gratefully. She had no idea what to say to this man. She didn’t know this man. And she knew that shouldn’t be a surprise.
‘So everything is set for tomorrow,’ he said, still all brisk business. ‘I have a staff person on site, Lia, who will tour you around the store, get you sorted for the performance at three.’
Aurelie stared at his blank eyes and brisk smile and thought suddenly, You’re lying. So much for honesty. This whole conversation was forced, fake. A lie.
Yet she had no idea what he really felt. Was he disgusted with her, with who he thought she was? You’re Aurelie.
Or could she dare hope that some remnant remained of the man who had smiled at her with such compassion, such understanding, and seemed to believe she was different?
No, she didn’t dare. There was no point.
‘That all sounds fine,’ she said, and he nodded.
‘Good.’ He hadn’t finished his drink, but he pushed it away from him, clearly done. ‘I’m afraid I have quite a lot of work to do, but I’ll probably see you at the opening.’
Probably? Aurelie felt her throat go tight and took another sip of water. Somehow she managed a breezy smile. ‘That sounds fine,’ she said again, knowing she was being inane, but then he was too. This whole conversation was ridiculous. And a desperate part of her still craved something real.
‘Fine,’ Luke said, and with one more nod he rose from the chair. Aurelie rose too. She hadn’t finished her water but neither was she about to sit in the bar alone. So that was it. Yet what had she really expected?
Even so, she could not keep a sense of desolation from sweeping emptily through her as Luke strode away from the bar without a backward glance.
That went well. Not. Luke tugged his tie from his collar and blew out his breath. He knew he didn’t possess the charm of his brother Chase or Aaron’s unending arrogance, but he could definitely have handled that conversation better. He’d been trying to keep it brisk and professional, but every time he looked at her he remembered how she’d felt in his arms, how much emotion and desire she’d stirred up in him, and business went right out of the window.
Maybe it wasn’t actually Aurelie who was doing this to him. Maybe he was just out of practice. He hadn’t had sex in a while, and he’d always been careful with his partners. A relationship came first with him, always had, because he’d never wanted to be like his father, going after everything in a skirt and ruining his mother’s life in the process.
But maybe if he’d indulged in a few more flings, he wouldn’t be feeling so … lost now. He’d gone over their encounter—was there really another word for it?—far too many times in his mind. Wondered when it had started to go wrong, and why. Had Aurelie been setting him up, the way he’d believed? Proving her damn point that he’d only come there to get into her bed? It seemed obvious, and yet a gut-deep instinct told him it wasn’t the whole story.
He remembered the raw ache in her voice when she’d spoken to him. I like how you say my name. The way her fingers had trailed down his cheek, eager and hesitant at the same time, the tremble of her slender body against his. She’d felt something then. Something real.
And then she’d gone so horribly still beneath him and he’d felt as if he were … attacking her. He’d never felt so repulsed, so ashamed.
The best thing to do, he told himself now, the only thing to do, was to avoid her. Easier for both of them. He’d only suggested this meeting as a way to clear the air, draw a firm line under what had happened. And that at least had been accomplished, even if he still felt far from satisfied in any way.
As he headed back up to his suite, Luke had a feeling the next ten days were going to be a whole new kind of hell.
Aurelie