Aurelie,’ Luke said quietly, ‘I think I know what’s an act and what’s real.’
‘How can you know that?’ She felt that tear slide coldly down her cheek. ‘I don’t even know that.’
‘Maybe that’s where I come in.’
She prickled instinctively, reached for her rusty armour. ‘You think you can help me? Save me?’
He stilled, went silent for so long Aurelie blinked hard and looked up at him. ‘No,’ he said with a quiet bleakness she didn’t understand. ‘I know I can’t save anyone.’ He smiled, but it still seemed sad. ‘But I can think you’re worth saving. Worth knowing.’
She swallowed, sniffed. ‘So what now?’
‘You answer my question.’ Words thickened in her throat. She didn’t speak. ‘Do you want to try again?’ Luke asked. His gaze remained steady on her, and she found she could not look away. ‘Do you want a second chance, with me?’
She couldn’t speak, not with all the words thick in her throat, tangling on her tongue. Words she was desperate not to say. Yes, but the thought terrifies me. What if you find out more about me and you hate me? What if you hurt me? What if it doesn’t work and I feel emptier and more alone than ever? What if I can’t change?
‘Aurelie,’ Luke said, and it wasn’t a question. It sounded like an affirmation. I know who you are.
Except he didn’t.
He was still gazing at her, still waiting. Aurelie swallowed again, tried to dislodge some of those words. She only came up with one.
‘Yes,’ she said.
LUKE STARED AT Aurelie’s pale face, her eyes so wide and blue, that one tear tracking a silvery path down her cheek.
Hell.
He’d come up here to talk to her, to tell her what he’d started out saying, which was that he was sorry for what had happened but they’d keep this whole thing professional and try to avoid each other because clearly that was the safest, sanest thing to do.
Except he’d said something else instead, something totally dangerous and insane. I know enough to know I want to know more. No, he didn’t. He didn’t want to know one more thing about this impossible woman. He wanted to walk away and forget he’d ever met her.
Except that honesty thing? It got him every time. Because he knew, even as he stared at that silver tear-track on her cheek, that he’d been speaking the truth.
He felt something for her. He did want to get to know her, even though there could be no doubting she was fragile, damaged, dangerous. The possibility of hurting her was all too real—and terrifying.
‘Luke?’ She said his name with a soft hesitancy that he’d never heard before. She felt vulnerable, he knew. Well, hell, he felt vulnerable. And he didn’t like it. He raked his hands through his hair, tried to find something to say.
Aurelie rose from the sofa and grabbed a tissue, her back to him as she wiped her eyes, as if even now she could hide her tears.
‘Look,’ she said, her back still to him, ‘maybe this is a mistake.’
Luke straightened, dropped his hands. ‘Why do you say that?’
She turned around. ‘Because of the look on your face.’
‘What—’
‘You’re looking like you seriously regret this whole thing.’
‘I wouldn’t say seriously.’ He’d meant to joke, but she just stared at him hard. He sighed. ‘Aurelie, look. This is new territory for me. I’m stumbling through the dark here.’
‘You and me both.’
‘Have you ever been in a serious relationship before?’
Her eyes widened, maybe with fear. ‘Is that what this is?’
‘No.’ He spoke quickly, instinctively, and she gave him a wobbly smile. They were both scared here, both inching into this … whatever this was. ‘One day at a time, right?’ He smiled back. ‘I just wondered.’
She turned away again, her hair falling in front of her face. ‘You’re asking because of the sex thing, right? Because I didn’t enjoy it.’
‘That among other things.’ The sex thing. Yeah, that was something else they’d have to deal with. Something had happened to her, he just didn’t know what. And he didn’t know if he even wanted to know. His three relationships, he realised, had not prepared him for this. They’d been safe, measured, considered things, and even though he’d had a deep affection for each of the women he’d shared a part of his life with, he hadn’t felt this.
This tangle of uncertainty and exhilaration, this terror that he could hurt her, that he might fail. What had he got himself into?
‘I’ve been in one relationship,’ she said quietly, her face still turned away from him. ‘Just one. But it lasted over three years.’
‘It did?’ He shouldn’t be surprised. He might not have seen a mention of such a relationship in the press, but he’d known from her song that she’d had her heart broken. The thought filled him with something that felt almost like jealousy.
She kept her face averted. ‘I’d rather not talk about it.’
‘All right.’ He drew a breath, felt his way through the words. ‘But if we’re going to … to try this, then we need to be honest with each other.’
She let out a short laugh. ‘Well, that’s obviously not a problem for you.’
‘Actually it is. I might be honest but that doesn’t mean I wear my heart on my sleeve. No one in my family talks about emotional stuff.’ And he didn’t even like admitting that. There was a reason for his family’s distance, their silence and secrets. A reason locked deep inside him.
Aurelie hunched her shoulders, folded her arms. ‘Well, I’m never honest. I don’t even know if I can be. I’ve been on my guard for so long I don’t know how to let it down.’ She stared at him with wide eyes. ‘I honestly don’t know.’
‘Well, see,’ Luke said lightly, ‘you were being honest right there.’
She let out a shaky laugh, the sound trembling on the air. Luke felt an ache deep inside. He didn’t know everything she’d been through, but he knew it had to have been a lot. And he wanted, on a deep, gut and even heart level, to make it better. To have her trust him. He wanted to redeem her, yes, maybe even save her, and save himself in the process. This time he could make it right.
‘Give us a chance, Aurelie.’
‘How?’
How to begin? ‘We don’t have to be in Singapore until the day after tomorrow. Give me tomorrow.’
She eyed him warily. ‘One day?’
‘One day. One date. It’s a start.’ For both of them.
‘And then?’
‘We’ll see. We’ll take one day at a time and see how we go.’ He had a feeling one day at a time was all they could handle. He didn’t know what he was asking, what he wanted. This was new territory for both of them.
‘One day,’ she repeated, as if she liked the sound of it. ‘One date.’ Luke nodded, felt his heart lift. ‘Okay,’ she said, and smiled.
Aurelie stood in the lobby of the hotel and tried not to fidget. Luke had told her he’d meet here at nine for