know you weren’t.’
Anton stood in the small annexe and looked at Louise. Today she had been amazing, though it wasn’t just because she was Emily’s friend. Every mother got Louise’s full attention. It was wrong of him to compare her to Dahnya, Anton realised. It was futile to keep going back to that terrible day.
Louise was too worried about Emily to notice his silence and she rattled on with her fears.
‘I know twenty-eight weeks isn’t tiny tiny but …’
‘It is far too soon,’ Anton agreed. ‘She’s just into her third trimester but we’ll do all we can to prolong it. It looks like we’ve just bought her another day and those steroids are in. The night staff have arrived, Evie is on and she is very good.’
Louise nodded. ‘I know she is but I’m going to sleep here tonight.’
‘Go home,’ Anton said, because Louise really did look pale, but she shook her head at his suggestion. ‘Louise, you have been here since six.’
‘And so have you,’ Louise pointed out. ‘I didn’t think you were on call tonight, Anton, so what’s your excuse for being here?’
‘I’ll be a lot happier by morning. I just want to be close if something occurs.’
‘Well, I’m the same. If something happens tonight then I want to be here with Emily.’
‘I get that but—Louise, I never thought I’d say this to you, but you look awful.’
It was a rather backhanded compliment but it did make her smile. ‘I’ll go and lie down soon,’ Louise said, and looked over as Hugh came out.
‘Is she awake?’
‘Yes, they’re just doing her obs. Thanks for today,’ Hugh said to them both. ‘I’m going to text and ring five thousand people now. Emily told her mum and, honestly, it’s spread like wildfire …’
‘I get it,’ Louise said, because she knew about Emily’s very complex family and the last thing she needed now was the hordes arriving. ‘I’ve put her down as no visitors.’
‘Thanks for that,’ Hugh said. ‘I’m going to ring for pizza—do you want some?’
‘No, thanks.’ Louise shook her head and yawned. ‘I’m going to go and sleep.’
‘Anton?’
‘Sounds good.’
Louise handed over to Evie, the night nurse who would be taking care of Emily. ‘Promise, promise, promise that you’ll come and get me if anything happens.’
‘Promise.’
‘I’m going to take a pager,’ Louise said, ‘just in case you’re too busy, so if you page him … she nodded to Anton ‘… page me too.’
Louise went to the hotbox and took out one of the warm blankets that they covered newly delivered mums in. Brenda would freak if she knew the damage that Louise singlehandedly did to the laundry budget but she was too cold and tired to care about that right now.
‘I’ll be in the store cupboard if anything happens.’
‘Store cupboard?’ Anton said.
‘Where all the night nurses sleep.’ Louise nodded to the end of the corridor. ‘‘Night, guys. ‘Night, Hugh. I’ll just go and say night to Emily if she’s awake.’
She popped in and there was Emily half-awake as Evie fiddled with her IV.
‘You’ve done so well today.’ Louise smiled, standing wrapped in her blanket. ‘I’m just going to get some shut-eye but I’m just down the hall, though I have a feeling I shan’t be needed.’
‘Thanks so much for staying,’ Emily said.
‘Please.’ Louise gave her a kiss goodnight on her forehead. ‘Hopefully we’ll move you to a room tomorrow. I’m going to have a jiggle with the beds in the morning and give you one of the nice ones.’ She spoke then in a loud whisper. ‘One of the private ones!’
‘You’re such a bad girl.’ Evie smiled.
‘I know.’ Louise grinned. ‘Sleep!’ Louise said to Emily and then stroked her stomach. ‘And you, little one, stay in there.’
‘Do you know what I’m having?’ Emily asked, and Louise just smiled as Emily spoke on. ‘Hugh knows and when I said that I didn’t want to find out, he said that he wouldn’t tell me even if I begged him.’
‘Do you want to know?’ Louise asked.
‘No, yes, no,’ Emily admitted. ‘But I want to know if you know.’
‘I do,’ Louise said, and then burst into Abba. ‘“I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,”‘ Louise sang, just as Anton and Hugh walked in. ‘But I’m not telling. If you want to know you can speak to Anton.’
‘She’s mad,’ Emily said, when Louise had gone but she said it in the nicest way.
‘Completely mad,’ Anton agreed. ‘How are you feeling now?’
‘A bit better.’
‘Any questions?’ Anton checked, but Emily shook her head.
‘I think you’ve answered them all. Presumably you know what I’m having?’
‘Of course I do,’ Anton said. ‘You know you are allowed to change your mind and find out if you want to.’
‘I want it to be a surprise.’
‘Then a surprise it will be.’
‘Are you going home now?’ Emily asked, because she had been told he was only here till six and she felt both guilty and relieved when Anton shook his head.
‘Stephanie is the on-call obstetrician tonight and she will be keeping an eye on you so that I can get some rest as I am working tomorrow. I am staying here tonight, though, and if anything changes, I have asked her to discuss it with me.’
‘Thank you.’
The store cupboard was actually an empty four-bedded ward at the front of the unit and was used to store beds, trolleys, stirrups, birth balls and all that sort of stuff. Louise curled up on one of the beds and lay there with her eyes closed, hoping that they would stay that way till morning.
She was exhausted, she’d barely had any sleep last night, but now that she finally could sleep, Louise simply could not relax. There was that knot of worry about Emily and another knot between her legs when she thought about Anton and the fact that he actually liked her.
In that way!
After half an hour spent growing more awake by the minute Louise padded out with her blanket around her.
Anton gave her a smile and she couldn’t really remember him smiling like that, unless to a patient. In fact, he didn’t smile like that to the patients.
‘Food should be here soon,’ Anton said.
Louise shook her head and instead of waiting for the pizza to arrive she had a bowl of cornflakes in the kitchen. Anton looked up as she returned with a bottle of sparkling water and a heat pack for her cramping stomach and then took two painkillers.
She tossed her now cold blanket into the linen skip and took out a newly warm one.
‘If Brenda knew …’ Anton warned, because the cost of laundering a blanket was posted on many walls, warning staff to use them sparingly.
‘I like to be warm at night,’ Louise said, and, no, she hadn’t meant it to be provocative but from the look that burnt between them it was.
She headed back to the storeroom but sleep still would not come.
Then she heard