be completely brilliant.’
He wrote one out for her there and then. ‘I’ll let his secretary know this morning. When you call ask to speak to her because Richard is very booked up too.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Louise …’
‘Anton.’ She turned round. She did not want to hear now how they might stand a chance, and she did not want to be put off her dream. One of the reasons she was attracted to him perhaps was that he had been so unobtainable and she wanted that to remain the same. ‘Don’t be such a girl!’
Six feet two of testosterone stood there and smiled as she continued.
‘It was fun, there can be more fun, just as long as it’s conducted well away from work, but I am going ahead with this.’
He said nothing as she stepped out and Louise didn’t really want him to. She didn’t want to hear that maybe they could give it a go. She had fancied him for ever, since the moment she had first laid eyes on him, and now, when the year she had given herself to come to her decision was almost up, when her dream was in sight, Anton was suddenly interested.
Why couldn’t he have left it at sex?
That, Louise could deal with.
It was the relationship part that terrified her.
Louise went and visited her family that morning and told them what was going on with Emily. When she got home Emily texted, asking her to go shopping for some nightwear but that there was no rush. And she added …
Something suitable, Louise!!!
Louise killed a couple of happy hours choosing nightwear for a pregnant, soon-to-be breastfeeding woman, while pretending she was shopping for herself. She did her level best to buy not what she’d like but what she guessed Emily would like, and, finally home, she thought about Anton and what had happened.
Not just their kiss and things, more the revelation that he liked her.
She had always been herself with him. Almost, since the day they had met, she had actually practised being herself with him. Anton had no idea just how much he had helped her. Not once had he told her to tone it down as she’d gradually returned to the woman she once had been.
She didn’t particularly want Anton to know just how bad things had been. In fact, as her fingers traced the scar on her scalp and her tongue slid over the crown on her front tooth, she could not imagine telling him what had happened in her past—it would be a helluva lot to dump on him.
Louise let out a breath as she recalled her family’s and friends’ reactions.
It had been Emily she had called on Boxing Day and Rory too.
Rory, whose friendship she had dumped, had, when she’d needed him, patched her up enough to go and face her parents at least.
No, she did not even want to think of Anton’s reaction to her tale so she pushed all thoughts of that away and pulled out the referral letter and made the call she had been waiting for ever to make.
Anton must have rung ahead as promised because when Louise spoke to the secretary she was told that there had been a cancellation and that she could see Richard the following Wednesday at ten a.m. Louise checked her diary on her phone and saw that she was on a late that day.
Perfect!
Louise put down the phone and did a little happy dance.
Finally, possibly, her baby was on the way!
EVERY QUESTION THAT Louise had, and there were many, was answered.
Susan had come to Louise’s appointment with her and Louise was very glad to have her mother by her side. She knew she would probably forget half of what was said later. Also it was easier if her mother understood what was happening first hand.
Richard ordered a full screening, along with a pelvic ultrasound, and did a thorough examination, as well as looking through the app she had on her phone that charted all her dates.
‘We have counsellors here and I really suggest that you take up my suggestion and make an appointment. The next step is to await all the blood results and then I’ll see you in the new year and we’ll look at the ways we can go ahead.’
Louise nodded.
‘But you think I’ll probably end up having IVF?’ Louise said, because that was the impression she had got during the consultation. She was nervous that the fertility drugs might produce too many eggs but with IVF it was more controlled and Louise only wanted one embryo put back. Richard had even discussed egg sharing, which would give Louise one round of IVF free.
‘I’m leaning that way, given your irregular cycle and that you want to avoid a multiple pregnancy, but right now I’d suggest you carry on with the iron and folic acid till we get the results back. We might put you on something stronger once they’re in. For now, go and have a good Christmas.’
Louise made an appointment for the second week in January, when Richard returned from his Christmas break, and she made an appointment for an ultrasound and then went and had all the bloodwork done as well.
‘Aren’t you going to book the counsellor?’ Susan asked.
‘Why would I need to see one?’ Louise said. ‘You didn’t have to see one before you had your three children.’
‘True,’ Susan responded, ‘but before we went in you said that you were going to do everything he suggests.’
‘And I am,’ Louise said, ‘apart from that one.’
Louise’s cheeks were unusually pink as they walked down the corridor. Her mind was all ajumble because even as little as a couple of weeks ago she’d have happily signed up to talk to someone. She was one hundred per cent sure that she wanted this.
Or make that ninety-nine point nine per cent positive.
‘Have you got time for a quick lunch before your shift?’ Susan asked.
She did have time but unfortunately that point one per cent, or rather Anton, was already in the canteen and Louise was very conscious of him as they got their meals. Fortunately the table that Susan selected was quite far away from where Anton sat.
‘Well, all I can say is that he was a lot better than the GP,’ Susan said. ‘Do you feel better for having seen him?’
‘I do.’
‘You’re very quiet all of a sudden.’
Louise didn’t know whether or not to say anything to her mum.
Actually, she didn’t know if there even was anything to discuss. She and Anton had returned to business as usual after the other night. She was being far less flirtatious and Anton was checking up on her work even more than usual, if that was possible.
‘I think I like someone, Mum,’ Louise admitted. ‘I’m a bit confused, to be honest.’
‘Does he know that you like him?’
Louise nodded. ‘And he also knows I’m doing this but I think if I continue to go ahead then it takes away any chance for us. I don’t even know if I want us to have a chance.’
Susan asked what should have been a simple question. ‘What’s he like?’
‘I don’t really know.’ Louise gave a wry laugh. ‘I know what he’s like at work and I find him a bit …’ She hesitated. ‘Well, he’s very thorough with his patients and I’m pretty used to doctors dismissing and overriding midwives …’ Louise thought for a long moment before continuing. ‘I’ve just fancied him for a long time but nothing ever happened and now, when I’ve