blank rebuttal and there’d been nothing he could do to break through.
Had he tried hard enough? He hadn’t, he conceded, because he’d known it was hopeless. He was part of her tragedy and she had to move on.
He’d accepted his marriage was over in everything but name.
So why had he come back here now? Was it really to save two fire engines? Or was it because he’d guessed Julie would be here?
One last hope...
If so, it had been subconscious, acting against the advice of his logic, his shrink, his new-found determination to look forward, to try and live.
But the thing was...Julie was here. She was here now, and it wasn’t just the bleak, dead Julie. He could make this Julie smile again. He could reach her.
But every time he did, she closed off again.
No matter. She was still in there, in that house, and he wielded his mop with extra vigour because of it. His Julie was still Julie. She was behind layers of protection so deep he’d need a battering ram to knock them down, but hey, he’d saved a kid and his house had withstood a firestorm.
All he needed now was a battering ram and hope.
And a miracle?
Miracles were possible. They’d had two today. Why not hope for another?
* * *
The house was hot, stuffy and filled with smoke but compared to outside it seemed almost normal. It even felt normal until she hauled back the thick shutters and saw outside.
The once glorious view of the bushland was now devastation.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ Amina whimpered and Julie thought: neither do I. But at least they were safe; Rob was outside in the heat making sure of it. The option of whimpering, too, was out of the question.
She looked at Amina and remembered how she’d felt at the same stage in pregnancy. Amina wasn’t carrying twins—at least she didn’t think so—but this heat would be driving her to the edge, even without the added terrors of the fire.
‘We have plenty of water in the underground tank,’ she told her. ‘And we have a generator running the pumps. If you like, you could have a bath.’
‘A bath...’ Amina looked at Julie like she’d offered gold. ‘Really?’
‘Really.’
‘I’m not sure I could get in and out.’ She gazed down at her bulk and even managed a smile. ‘I used to describe it as a basketball. Now I think it’s a small hippopotamus.’
‘There are safety rails to help you in and out.’
‘You put them in when you were pregnant?’ It was a shy request, not one that could be snapped at.
‘Yes.’
‘You and Rob didn’t come back here because this is where your boys lived?’ Amina ventured, but it wasn’t really a question. It was a statement; a discovery.
‘Yes.’ There was no other answer.
‘Maybe I’d have felt the same if I’d lost Danny.’ Danny was clinging to her side but he was looking round, interested, oblivious to the danger he’d been in mere hours before. ‘Danny, will you come into the bathroom with me?’
But Danny was looking longingly out of the window. He was obviously aching for his adventure to continue, and the last thing Amina needed, Julie thought, was her four-year-old in the bathroom with her.
Luka had flopped on the floor. The big dog gave a gentle whine.
‘I’ll see to his pads,’ Amina said but she couldn’t disguise her exhaustion, or her desolation at postponing the promised bath.
‘Tell you what,’ Julie said. ‘You go take a bath and Danny and I will take Luka into the laundry. There’s a big shallow shower/bath in there. If he’s like any golden retriever I know he’ll like water, right?’
‘He loves it.’
‘Then he can stand under the shower for as long as he wants until we know his pads are completely clean. Then I’ll find some burn salve for them. Danny, will you help me?’
‘Give Luka a shower?’ Danny ventured.
‘That’s the idea. You can get undressed and have a shower with him if you want.’ And Julie’s mind, unbidden, was taking her back, knowing what her boys loved best in the world. ‘We could have fun.’
Fun... Where had that word come from? Julie McDowell didn’t do fun.
‘Will Rob help, too?’ Danny asked shyly and she nodded.
‘When he’s stopped firefighting, maybe he will.’
‘Rob’s big.’ There was already a touch of hero worship in the little boy’s voice.
‘Yes.’
‘He made me safe. I was frightened and he made me safe.’
‘He’s good at that,’ Julie managed, but she didn’t know where to take it from there.
Once upon a time Rob had made her feel safe. Once upon a time she’d believed safe was possible.
Right now, that was what he was doing. Keeping them safe.
One day at a time, she thought. She’d been doing this for years, taking one day at a time. But now Rob was outside, keeping them safe, and the thought left her exposed.
One day at a time? Right now she was having trouble focusing on one moment at a time.
* * *
Rob did one final round of the house and decided that was it; he didn’t have the strength to stay in the heat any longer. But the wind had died, there was no fire within two hundred yards of the house and even that was piles of ash, simmering to nothing. He could take a break. He headed up the veranda steps and was met by the sound of a child’s laughter.
It stopped him dead in his tracks.
He was filthy. He was exhausted. All he wanted was to stand under a cold shower and then collapse, but the shower was in the laundry.
And someone was already splashing and shouting inside.
He could hear Julie laughing and, for some weird reason, the sound made him want to back away.
Coward, he told himself. He’d faced a bush fire and survived. How could laughter hurt so much? But it took a real effort to open the laundry door.
What met him was mess. Huge mess. The huge laundry shower-cum-bath had a base about a foot deep. It had been built to dump the twins in when they’d come in filthy from outside. The twins had filled it with their chaos and laughter and it was filled now.
More than filled.
Luka was sitting serenely in the middle of the base. The water was streaming over the big dog, and he had his head blissfully raised so the water could pour right over his eyes. Doggy heaven.
Danny had removed his clothes. He was using...one of the twins’ boats?...to pour water over Luka’s back. Every time he dumped a load, Luka turned and licked him, chin to forehead. Danny shrieked with laughter and scooped another load.
Julie was still fully dressed. She’d hauled off her boots and flannel overshirt but the rest was intact. Dressed or not, though, she was sitting on the edge of the tub, her feet were in the water and she was soaking. Water was streaming over her hair. She was still black but the black was now running in streaks. She looked like she didn’t care.
She was helping Danny scoop water. She was laughing with Danny, hugging Luka.
Silly as a tin of worms...
Once upon a time Rob’s dad had said that to