family crisis? One of your parents?” she asked in concern, remembering the few sketchy details they’d shared about their backgrounds.
Slowly he shook his head, letting out a heavy sigh. “They’re fine, well, sort of, but that wasn’t the problem. It was my brother who needed help. I know this isn’t fair, but I’d rather not go into all the details right now because it’s complicated.”
“Complicated,” she repeated, trying not to feel hurt. She tried to tell herself that whatever had happened wasn’t her business, but it was difficult. “I guess I can understand.” Even though she really didn’t. Then again, she shouldn’t be surprised. Jadon had always tried to keep his distance from her emotionally. This was just another example.
“I’ll tell you the entire story sometime, but right now I’m more worried about you. And the babies.”
“There isn’t anything to be worried about. I’m fine and so are the twins.” She gave a small shrug, hiding her true feelings. Jadon had never confided in her before, and obviously he didn’t see a reason to start now. Maybe he hadn’t left her for another woman, but that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t open to a future. “All I can do is follow doctor’s orders and hope for the best.”
“Yes. But I’d really like to help.”
“Help?” she repeated, trying to figure out where he was going with this. “Like with what? The babies haven’t been born yet.”
“Do you have everything you need?” he asked. “It’s going to be rough as you need two of everything. So what about cribs? Car seats? Strollers?”
The thought of Jadon buying baby things almost made her smile. “Seth and Kylie threw me a shower, inviting all the ED staff, so I have most of what I need, thanks.”
He swept a skeptical glance over her apartment. “You’ll be crowded in here, don’t you think?”
She raised a brow. “For now maybe we’ll be a little cramped. But I won’t be living here forever.” At least, that was her plan. She had some small savings that she hoped to use as a down payment for a house, depending on how things went after the twins were born. If she could work enough hours to afford a small mortgage.
“Alyssa, I have a three-bedroom house. There’s no reason you can’t move in with me for the rest of your pregnancy and then even after the babies are born. Between the two of us, we should be able to help care for the twins, keeping our child-care costs down.”
Her eyes widened in shock. Was he crazy? Was he really suggesting they live together for financial reasons? As if the babies were nothing more than a business arrangement? “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
In fact, she was pretty sure it was a really bad idea. His emotions may not be involved, but hers would be.
“Please, think about it.” He didn’t back down as she half expected he might, but stood awkwardly in her living room, looking like a fish out of water. “I know things have been rough for you, and I’m sorry you had to go through this alone. But right now we need to focus on the babies. Having you move in with me, even temporarily, is best for them.”
LONG after Jadon had left, Alyssa found herself replaying their brief conversation over and over again.
He’d asked her to move in with him. As a business arrangement. Because there was extra room in his threebedroom house. A temporary solution to solve her child-care needs.
Typical of Jadon to gloss over the emotional side of things. Did he ever think about their time together? Did he have any feelings for her at all? Other than as the mother of his children? Children he’d never planned on having?
Logically, she knew his offer had some merit. She’d always sworn not to end up like her mother, struggling to make ends meet. And now here was Jadon, offering a solution to at least part of her problems. But at what cost?
Emotionally, sharing a roof with Jadon would risk her heart, a huge price to pay.
Yet didn’t her babies deserve a safe and secure childhood? And would she really be able to provide that on her own? For one baby, yes, but for two? Doubtful.
She hadn’t given him an answer, simply telling him she’d need to think about it.
For a long time she stared at the pretty, bright star topping her lopsided Christmas tree, as if seeking divine guidance. What on earth should she do? Maybe moving in with him would be best for the twins, but what about her?
If only her pulse didn’t leap so erratically whenever Jadon was nearby. If only she didn’t still feel that spark of attraction whenever he spoke to her. If only she didn’t wish so much that things were different.
She’d gone into a relationship with Jadon planning to keep things light, but she’d been hurt more than she’d realized when he’d left. Maybe he’d left for a family crisis but, still, he hadn’t called to let her know he was coming back. Clearly he hadn’t anticipated renewing their relationship. Because they hadn’t had a relationship.
She didn’t want to be hurt again. Jadon had already proved himself to be too much like her father. She’d be better off to stay away from him.
Except he was the father of her babies.
Avoiding him would be impossible. Somehow she had to find a way to work with Jadon, to meet the needs of her children, without becoming emotionally dependent on him.
Could she do it? Live with him as a business arrangement, to help share the trials of providing feedings for two infants every two to three hours, without getting emotionally involved?
The four walls of her apartment were closing in on her, especially the way she couldn’t do anything. She longed to leave. Yet the idea of moving in with Jadon seemed too much like simply exchanging one type of prison for another.
Jadon figured he’d botched things with Alyssa for good. He hadn’t intended to bring up them moving in together, yet suddenly it had seemed like such a great idea. Obviously, by her horrified expression, she hadn’t shared his enthusiasm.
And her wishy-washy, gee-let-me-think-about-it response hadn’t been promising.
Seeing Alyssa in her cramped apartment, with her crooked Christmas tree, had bothered him. He couldn’t imagine how she’d possibly take care of two babies in the single-bedroom apartment. Especially as she didn’t have anyone to lean on for support. Her mother had passed away a few years ago and she was an only child.
The rest of Alyssa’s past was sketchy. He knew she was estranged from her father, but that was about it. They hadn’t made an attempt to know each other on a deeply personal level.
Their relationship had been physically intimate. He’d realized how much he was starting to care for her at the same time his family crisis had torn him away. He’d thought the distance would help.
But he’d missed her. Had thought about her a lot. Had missed their physical closeness.
A closeness he’d considered resuming once he’d returned, since he’d learned a lot about his brother’s illness while he’d been gone. He’d spent time with Jack’s doctor, who’d put some of his old fears to rest.
And, truthfully, he’d liked their hot, steamy nights together.
Alyssa’s pregnancy changed everything. He didn’t know anything about being a father. The idea of raising children, twins on top of it, secretly scared him. He knew, only too well, how things could go wrong.
With a sigh, he rubbed his aching temple and then decided to head for the shower. He was on for