would be for her. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart. Just rest. Angus is here.’
Her eyelids flickered and for a brief moment she looked at him before her eyelids fell again. ‘Okay,’ she breathed.
He looked at Angus. ‘Why is she still bleeding?’
‘Might be an extra lobe of placenta she grew that we missed.’ Angus was massaging the uterus through Maeve’s belly like Tara had been doing. ‘Or could just be a lazy uterus. Or could be a tear somewhere. We’ll try the drugs but if it doesn’t settle, because of the amount of loss, we’ll have to take her to Theatre.’
Angus glanced at the nursing supervisor. ‘Call Ben and Andy, clue them in, and have operating staff standing by. We can always send them home.’
Nobody mentioned it was early Boxing Day morning. The supervisor nodded and picked up the phone. ‘And phone Simon,’ Angus said, with a quick glance at Rayne. ‘We’ll need his consent.’
Consent for what? Operating theatres? He could give that consent. No, he couldn’t. He had no legal claim on Maeve or his son. He had nothing except Maeve’s permission to be here. He was no one. Shook himself with contempt. It wasn’t about him.
And what would they do? But he knew. They would do what they needed to do to save her life. And if Maeve could never have children again? He thought of the powerful woman who had majestically navigated the birth process with gusto. Imagined her distress if the chance would never be hers again.
He imagined Maeve dying and reared back from the thought. They would get through it. She had to get through it.
‘She’s started to bleed again,’ Angus said to Tara. ‘Get me the F2 alpha and I’ll inject it into her uterus.’ To the other midwife, he said, ‘Check the catheter isn’t blocked and I’ll compress the uterus with my hands until we can get to the OR.’
The next two hours were the worst in Rayne’s life. Worse than when they’d come for him in Simon’s house and he’d seen Maeve’s distress, worse than when he’d been sentenced to prison, worse than when he’d found out his mother had died.
Maeve went in and for a long time nobody came out. Simon sat beside him in the homey little waiting room that was like no other waiting room he’d ever seen.
It had a big stone water cooler and real glasses to drink from. A kettle and little fridge to put real milk in your tea and a big jar of home-made oatmeal biscuits. And a comfortable lounge that he couldn’t sit on.
He paced. Connor didn’t seem to mind because he slept through it in his bunny rug. Rayne couldn’t put him down. Not because Connor cried but because Rayne couldn’t bear to have empty arms while he waited for Maeve to come through those doors.
‘Do you want me to take Connor?’
‘No!’ He didn’t even think about it. Looked down at his son asleep against his chest. Doing at least something that he knew Maeve would like while he waited. ‘What’s taking them so long?’
‘She’ll go to Recovery when they’ve sorted everything. Then Dad will come through and talk to us. Or maybe Ben or Andy.’
‘Are they good?’
‘Superb.’
‘I feel so useless. I worried about being a good enough father. That’s nothing in the big picture.’
‘It’s not a nothing. But this is bigger. But you’ll be fine. She’ll be fine.’
Rayne heard the thread of doubt in Simon’s voice and stopped. Looked at the man who would become his brother-in-law. Because he would marry Maeve. If she’d have him. He didn’t deserve her. Would never have presumed to think she’d have him. But after this fear of losing her he’d take her faith in him and hold it and be the best dad a man could be. And the best husband.
Surely that would be the start of good enough?
He had a sudden vision of waking up in bed beside Maeve for every morning to come for the rest of his life. How the hell would he get out of bed?
But Simon. He’d forgotten that Maeve was the sister Simon was most protective about. How could he forget that in the circumstances? Because he needed to think of other people in his life now. He wasn’t alone. He had Maeve, and Connor, and apparently a whole family or two. He glanced down at his son again and then at Simon.
He stopped where Simon was sitting. ‘Can you hold him for a sec? My arm’s gone to sleep.’ It hadn’t but he could see Simon needed something to hold as well. Tara was in the operating theatre with Maeve and she couldn’t help him.
He watched his friend’s face soften as he took the sleeping infant. Saw the tension loosen in the rigid shoulders. He missed the weight of Connor but was glad that Simon had him for the moment. Funny how a tiny helpless baby could help both of them to be stronger.
And then the doors opened and Angus came out. He looked at Simon first and then at Rayne.
‘She had a spontaneous tear in her uterus. Probably a weakness in the muscle she was born with. It took a while to find it and she lost a lot of blood. But she’s stable now.’
Rayne felt his body sag. Was actually glad that Simon held Connor.
‘No more normal births for her. And a Caesarean in a bigger centre next time in case it does it again.’
So they had saved her uterus. Not bad for a tiny country hospital. ‘So more blood transfusions?’
‘And fresh frozen plasma and cryo. They’ll need some of your blood over at the blood bank because we’ve used nearly all of theirs.’
It was the least he could do.
‘Do we need to ship her out to a bigger hospital?’ Simon had stood and his father was smiling at him with his nephew in his arms.
‘I don’t think so. And I would if I thought she needed to go. Would have spirited her there half an hour ago if I could have, but the crisis is past.’ He grinned at Simon, who was swaying with the baby. ‘Can’t you men put that baby down?’
Rayne glanced at his friend. The relief was soaking in slowly. ‘We’re sharing the comfort. So she’ll be fine?’
‘She’ll have to spend a few more days in hospital than she expected but she’ll be spoiled rotten in Maternity.’
Rayne thought of going back to the manse without Maeve and Connor. ‘Can I stay there, too? In the room with her and Connor? Help her with the baby?’
Angus raised his brows. ‘Can’t see any reason why not. Might mean that Tara will hand her over because she’s not budging and I think she’s nearly out on her feet.’ He glanced at his son with a tired smile. ‘Tara did a great job, Simon.’
So many amazing people here. So many he had to thank. Rayne stepped up to Angus and shook his hand. How could he ever repay them? ‘Thank you. Thank the other guys.’
‘We’ll call in a favour if we need it.’ Angus smiled.
Rayne looked at him. Saw a man who would be ruthless if he needed something for his little country hospital, and understood that. Smiled at it. Got the idea that resources could be hard to come by here when life threw a curve ball but those who had chosen to live here had saved his Maeve. They could have him any time they wanted.
He saw that he’d been accepted and was therefore fair game. He could deal with that. Thought for the first time about where Maeve might want to live and that, for the moment, if it was here he could cope with that.
Ten minutes later Simon took Tara home and Rayne carried Connor back to the room that would be Maeve’s. The night midwife, Misty, took him through to the nursery and they finally got around to weighing Connor and giving him his needles, then she ran her hands all over him, checking that everything was fine.
She listened to his heart and handed the stethoscope to Rayne