as if he were a baby he had been asked to check. But this wasn’t a baby of some other lucky couple. This was his son. His hands stilled. This child depended on him for all the things his own father hadn’t given him and he would deliver.
Misty handed him clothes and he looked at the tiny singlet. Thought of Maeve.
‘Maeve’s missing this. Wish she was here to share it.’
‘Have you got your phone?’
He looked at her blankly. It wasn’t like he could ring her. It must have shown on is face.
Misty laughed. ‘You are tired. I can take photos of you dressing Connor and you can show her later.’
He shook his head. He should have thought of that. Handed her the phone in his pocket and Misty started snapping.
Rayne glanced at the sink as he lifted the singlet to stretch it widely over Connor’s head. ‘So when do we bath him?’
Misty shook her head. ‘Not for twenty-four hours. He still smells like Mum and it helps him bond and feel secure and remember what to do when he goes for his next feed.’
Rayne vaguely remembered that from something Maeve had said, along with the skin to skin with Mum in the first hour.
Connor stared sleepily up at him as he dressed him. ‘And what if he gets hungry before Maeve comes back?’
‘He’ll be fine. Tara said he fed well at birth. That’s great. He could sleep up to twelve hours before he wakes up enough to feed again this first day. It’s made such a difference letting them have that one long sleep after birth. Breastfed babies feed at least six to ten times a day and he’ll catch up later.’
‘I should know this stuff.’ He shook his head. ‘I’ve been out of it for nearly a year and in the States the doctors don’t really discuss breastfeeding issues.’
She laughed. ‘Everyone does everything here.’
He captured and pulled Connor’s long fingers gently through the sleeve of the sleeping gown. All the experience came back as he turned the little boy over onto his front and tied the cords of his nightgown. Made him feel not so useless. He could do this for Maeve. He folded the gown back carefully so it wouldn’t get damp if he wet his nappy. ‘Don’t you use disposable nappies here?’
‘Not until after they do their first wee. Those new disposables are too efficient and it’s hard to tell sometimes.’
‘Fair enough.’ He clicked the pin with satisfaction and tugged the secure nappy. Good job.
Misty nodded approvingly. ‘You can even do a cloth and pin nappy without help. Not many dads could do that the first day.’ The phone rang and she handed him a clean bunny rug. ‘Excuse me.’
She poked her head back into the nursery. ‘They’re bringing Maeve back now.’
Rayne felt relief sweep over him as he wrapped Connor and put him snugly back into his little wheeled cot. Tucked him under the sheets so he didn’t feel abandoned. His eyes were shut. Misty had put nappies and wipes and assorted linen under there in case he needed it in the room overnight and Rayne trundled the cot out the door and down the hallway, where two men were pushing a wheeled bed into the room.
His first sight of Maeve made him draw in his breath. She looked like Snow White, icily beautiful, but deeply asleep and as white as the sheets she lay on with her eyes shut. Her black hair made her look even paler and his heart clutched in shock. Unconsciously his hand went down until he was resting it on Connor’s soft hair, as if he needed the touch of his son to stay calm.
She stirred as the bed stopped against the wall of the room. Blinked slowly and then she opened her eyes, focused and saw him. Licked her dry lips. Then softly, barely perceptibly, she murmured, ‘Hi, there, Rayne.’
‘Hi, there, Princess Maeve.’ He pulled the cot up to the side of the bed. ‘Your son is beautiful.’
‘Our son,’ she whispered.
‘I love him already.’ He didn’t know where the words had come from but he realised it was somewhere so deep and definite in him that it resonated with truth and the smile on Maeve’s face as she closed her eyes assured him it was the thing she most wanted to hear.
‘Then I can leave him to you while I sleep.’
‘I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Thank you.’ And she breathed more deeply as she drifted back to sleep.
He watched her chest slowly rise and fall. Glanced at the blood running into a vein in her left arm and mentally thanked the donor who had provided it. Checked the drugs running into a right-arm vein. Watched Misty as she straightened the IV lines, the monitor leads and the automatic blood-pressure machine, set to record every half an hour, until they were all in a position she could glance at every time she came into the room.
Rayne shifted his intended chair slightly so he could see too. Frowned over the fact that Maeve’s heart rate was still elevated, her blood pressure still low. But respirations were normal. And even as she slept just a tinge of colour was returning to her face.
He pushed Connor’s cot quietly towards the big chair beside the bed and sank back into it. Then pulled the cot halfway between the bed and the chair so that either of them could stretch out their arm and could touch their son. Then he settled down to watch Maeve.
MAEVE WOKE AND the room was quiet. It was still dark through the windows outside and her belly felt like it was on fire. At first she thought Rayne was asleep but he shifted and sat straighter when he saw she was awake and she wondered vaguely if he’d been awake all this time. Watching over her. It was an incredible thought.
‘Hi.’ She couldn’t keep a frown off her face.
‘Pain not good?’
She decided shaking her head would be too much movement. ‘Eight out of ten.’
He stood up. ‘I’ll get Misty.’ Left the room in a few long strides and she tried to lessen the tension in her body. What the heck happened to her beautiful natural birth? And how had she ended up being sore both ends? Now, that sucked. Closed her eyes and decided to worry about it tomorrow.
Misty came back in with Rayne and brought some tablets and a bottle of water with a straw.
Rayne slid his arm under her shoulders and eased her up so slowly and gently that it barely hurt to move. She swallowed the pills and savoured the water as it ran down her throat as he laid her down again.
Misty checked all her observations then Connor’s, without rousing him, and then lifted the sheets and checked her wound and her bleeding and nodded with satisfaction at both. ‘Looking beautiful.’
She heard Rayne, say, ‘You midwives are weird.’
It would hurt to laugh. Misty laughed and left the room and Maeve smiled. She turned her head carefully and looked at Connor. Sleeping like a baby. Hugged that thought to herself then looked at Rayne, who was watching her. There was something different about him.
‘You okay?’
He smiled and there was so much caring in the look he gave her that she felt herself become warm. ‘I’m okay, as long as you are,’ he said.
Meaning? ‘Been a pretty torrid day?’
He stood up. Smiled down at her. Took her hand in his and turned it over. Careful of the IV lines, she thought. It was just a hand. Then he kissed her palm and it became a magic hand.
Then he said, ‘A first for me as well. You scared the daylights out of me.’
Funnily, she hadn’t been scared. ‘I wasn’t scared. You said not to be. Thank