answering. “We have had wonderful adventures and amazing travel. You have introduced me to many new experiences.”
“No regrets?”
“Only one.”
“What would that be?” he asked though he already knew the answer.
“We have no children.”
He had strolled right into that one. “I understand you’re still mourning the loss, yet I can’t understand why you would want to risk your health after you had such a difficult pregnancy.”
She stopped and faced him. “Life is not without risk, Sebastian. And at times risk comes with precious rewards.”
He didn’t know how to answer to satisfy her needs. He didn’t know if he would ever want to enter that territory again. “Speaking of risks, would you care to climb on that giant Ferris wheel and take it for a spin?”
Nasira glanced over her shoulder then regarded him with a frown. “You know I am afraid of heights.”
“You have no need to be afraid while in the presence of a superhero.”
She smiled. “This is true. If I agree, will you promise to hold on to me?”
“You may count on my undivided attention.”
“Then yes, I will join you on that contraption, and hope I do live long enough to regret it.”
Sebastian led Nasira to the line of people awaiting their turn on the ride. When their time came, he approached the elderly gentleman in charge of the ride and withdrew his wallet. “How much, kind sir?”
“Three tickets.”
Tickets? “I wasn’t aware we needed those.” He pulled a twenty out of his pocket. “Will this do?”
“I don’t make change, mister.”
“No change necessary.”
The attendant grinned, displaying a remarkable lack of teeth. “I guess it’ll do at that.”
“Amazing how money opens doors,” Sebastian said as they climbed into the car.
Nasira grabbed the railing and sat, looking somewhat fearful. “Amazing how rickety this ride seems.”
He lowered next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Just hold tight to your knight.”
She surprised him with a soft kiss. “Happily, kind sir.”
When the wheel began to move, sending them up toward the night sky, Nasira closed her eyes and tensed against him. He held her tighter, stroked her arm and rested his lips against her temple. He experienced such a fierce need to keep her sheltered from harm, and a secret fear that he could not be the man she would want in the future if he couldn’t give her the child she desired.
But tonight, he could give her all his consideration and forget the chasm that still existed between them.
When they reached the top, the ride jolted to a stop, causing the car to slightly sway and his wife to clutch his thigh in a death grip. Stifling a wince, Sebastian lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “Open your eyes, sweetheart.”
“Must I?”
“No, but you’re missing an extraordinary view.”
After a few seconds ticked off, she finally lifted her lids and looked around. “I must admit, all the lights are beautiful. They remind me of our holiday together two years ago.”
While she must have been struck by sentimentality, he was hit by some rather sexual memories. “Ah, yes. Rome. We barely left the room.”
“That is not true. We had several meals on the veranda.”
He brushed a kiss across her lips. “That’s not all we did on that veranda.”
Her smile arrived slowly. “True. You have always been quite devilish when we travel.”
“And you are always quite willing to dance with the devil.”
“Evidently I cannot resist your charms.”
He pushed her hair away from her shoulder. “Would you be willing to dance with me later tonight?”
Without giving him a verbal response, Nasira wrapped her hand around his nape and pulled his mouth to hers, taking Sebastian by surprise. As the ride began to move again, picking up speed, they continued to kiss as if they were youngsters in the throes of first love. But they weren’t youngsters. They were husband and wife in the midst of a troubled marriage, yet he felt as if this could be the path to healing.
When the ride bumped to a stop, they finally ended the kiss only to be met by applause, whistles and catcalls. Sebastian helped Nasira out of the car and they rushed away, then paused and shared in a few laughs.
Nasira wrapped her arms around his waist. “I do believe you have ruined my reputation.”
He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “If you agree to return to the ranch now, I will endeavor to ruin it more.”
She studied his eyes for a few moments, as if searching for something unknown there. “Sebastian, I....”
“What, sweetheart?”
“I think that is a marvelous idea.”
* * *
Saying what she had wanted to say would have been a horrible idea.
Still, Nasira had come very close to voicing an emotion she had never admitted to him, or to herself, during their decade together. She loved him, and most likely had for many years. Love had not been a goal in their marriage. A marriage based on convenience and mutual need. Yet somehow she had introduced the emotion into the union when she had allowed Sebastian into her life, and into her heart.
That did not change the fact that her husband might not feel more than fondness for her. That did not negate that they wanted to journey down different paths and if he had his way, their future would not include having a child.
Yet as she rode back to the ranch, her hand resting lightly in Sebastian’s, she did not care about compromise or doubts. She only wanted to enjoy this night with her husband in the event these memorable moments might be their last.
She leaned back against the headrest and sighed. “I realized something tonight that I have never considered before.”
“You are not so afraid of heights?”
“No. I enjoy country living.”
“That’s why we have the country home in Bath to escape the hectic pace in London proper.”
“I know, yet I feel a certain freedom here. It does sound odd, I suppose.”
He pulled beneath the portico and shut off the ignition. “This place does afford quite a bit of privacy, which reminds me.” He reached into the back of the car, retrieved a silver bag full of pink tissue and handed it to her.
“What is this?”
“Open it and you’ll see.”
She rummaged around and withdrew a bathing suit that was little more than a labyrinth of turquoise strings. “I have never flown a kite in the dark.”
“Very amusing. We both need to relax, and what better way to do that than to swim.”
“Isn’t it too cool to swim?”
“The spa and pool are both heated.”
She could imagine they would generate their own heat, yet she worried about the privacy issue. “I would still have to get out of the spa or pool.” She shook the swimsuit at him. “This barely covers anything at all. What if someone happens upon us?”
“You have a robe, do you not?”
“Yes.”
“Besides,