numerous rides and sideshows before she stopped at the basketball hoops and insisted that Damien have a turn.
He shrugged out of his jacket and asked Abi to hold it for him. He slung it around her shoulders when she agreed. It was warm and comforting, a bit like being wrapped in his arms again. It felt safe.
Removing his jacket had left him standing before her in his shirtsleeves. His arms were muscular and he could pick up the basketball in one hand with his long fingers. She watched as he transferred the ball from his left hand to his right before throwing it. He was quick and accurate and it wasn’t until the game was finished that Abi realised she had forgotten to be nervous, she’d been too busy admiring Damien’s skill and physique.
He had scored enough points to win a soft toy for Summer and she chose a seahorse covered in pink and silver sequins layered like scales. Abi wasn’t certain that seahorses actually had scales but she supposed it didn’t matter—a soft toy didn’t need to be a perfect replica of the real thing. Come to think of it, seahorses probably weren’t pink and silver either. But not everything in the world had to be perfect. Sometimes it was okay to have some imagination and succumb to fantasies. Summer was reminding Abi of what it was like to be a child, to believe that good things could happen, how to have fun.
‘You have to have another turn, Daddy,’
‘I think one toy is enough, Summer, especially as I know I’ll end up carrying it and you.’
‘It’s not for me. Abi needs a toy too.’
Damien looked at Abi. ‘In that case...’ he said, and Abi felt warmth flow through her. To think he was doing this for her.
Summer wriggled her way between Abi and Jonty as Damien tossed balls through the hoop. Summer was rubbing Jonty’s head with one hand but Abi felt her other hand slide into her own as they watched. It was tiny and warm and the contact melted Abi’s heart.
‘What takes your fancy, ma’am?’ he asked as he turned around at the end of the game, victorious once more. He was smiling broadly and Abi sensed he was enjoying the day as much as she was. She was pretty sure she wasn’t projecting her feelings. This was the best day she’d had in a long time.
She smiled back, feeling relaxed. For a few minutes she’d forgotten to be self-conscious, forgotten to be nervous, forgotten to be worried. It felt good not to worry. She wasn’t over-thinking things, she wasn’t creating concerns. Despite the fact that the crowds were building up, her earlier nerves had eased. She felt safe with Damien. He seemed to have the ability to create a wall that surrounded the three of them and Jonty and didn’t allow the outside world to intrude.
‘Get the tiger,’ Summer instructed, before Abi could answer.
‘Why the tiger?’ Damien asked.
‘It’s got the same eyes as Abi.’
He looked back at Abi then asked to see the toy. He took the tiger with its amber glass eyes and held it beside Abi’s head, looking from the glass eyes into hers.
‘So it does,’ Damien agreed as he held her gaze, and Abi felt the rest of the world dissolve into a haze around her as his dark eyes looked deep inside her. Could he see her reaction? Could he see how happy she was? How confused?
She dropped her gaze and reached for the toy and tucked it under her arm. She couldn’t continue to stare at him, afraid she would say or do something she’d regret, like step forward to touch him.
‘Thank you,’ she said, but her words seemed inadequate to express her feelings. She would remember this day for ever and she knew that if she had nothing else, this tiger would always remind her of today. The first day in six months where she’d felt able to breathe, to relax, to forget her worries. It would remind her of the person she could be; it would inspire her to get over the past, to recover; and it would remind her of Damien and Summer long after they were gone from her life.
She couldn’t imagine being part of them for ever. They didn’t need her but she was starting to think she needed them. They were saving her, making her feel safe, whole and normal.
She was staring at him with her incredible amber eyes and he knew he would never forget this day.
‘It was my pleasure,’ he replied.
She was still wearing his jacket. It swamped her tiny frame and made her look vulnerable. She was beautiful but damaged and brought out all his protective instincts. She put out a distress call that he had to answer. He was a sucker for anyone who needed protection. Having someone to protect or care for, like his father had done for his mother, was what it was all about. It made him feel strong, valuable and worthy, and he liked those feelings. He liked feeling needed.
ABI WAS PLEASED to get to work on Monday. She was feeling overwhelmed, not physically but emotionally. Her emotions were swamping her and her head was full of conflicting thoughts about Damien. She wanted to trust him but she knew it was because she was attracted to him, and she really couldn’t afford to be. It broke all her rules.
But she had to admit she had enjoyed the day at the pier. She’d felt self-conscious at first about spending the day with Damien, but he and Summer had relaxed her and entertained her to the point that she’d forgotten to be worried, forgotten to be nervous about the crowds. It had felt like the type of Sunday thousands of normal families might enjoy and she had liked that feeling. It was something she’d never had. She had almost been able to pretend they were one of those families.
But they were not.
Perhaps she needed to think of any time spent with Damien and Summer as therapy. It had certainly made her feel good yesterday. She’d felt confident, she’d felt safe and she had coped with situations that she’d never imagined she would be able to face again. She had enjoyed herself. But Damien was still a colleague. It would be prudent to be careful.
She needed to be at work so she was forced to think about other things, things that mattered, like her patients.
She headed for Dylan’s room. He was due to have his dressings changed for the first time following the skin grafts to his arms so she needed to be there. She needed a dose of reality. This was her life. Her work. And work was something she could handle. She was trained for this and it didn’t require anything extra of her personally. She could cope with work but she couldn’t cope with her feelings for Damien or his daughter.
The pull towards them was strong. They were magnetic. Hypnotising. Was it them or was it the idea of them? A family unit but not quite? Something was missing for them, she could feel it. She recognised it because something was missing for her too, but was she living in a fantasy world? Was she kidding herself if she thought she could be the answer for them and vice versa? Why would they need her? No one ever had.
She gloved and gowned and straightened her shoulders as she tied a mask over her nose and mouth before entering Dylan’s room. Ellen had been nursing Dylan and she had everything ready and waiting for Abi.
She greeted Dylan’s mother, who was pacing at his bedside, waiting anxiously and hoping for good news. ‘Morning, Julie,’ she said, doing her best to project confidence.
Abi had one eye on the monitors as she picked up Dylan’s chart and flicked through it. ‘How’s he doing?’ she asked Ellen, as Dylan dozed. He’d been kept sedated since the surgery as it was important to keep him as still as possible to protect his arms from rubbing or pressure.
‘He’s doing well. Obs are all good. Temperature normal,’ Ellen replied.
A normal temperature was encouraging.
‘All right, let’s take a look.’
Ellen pushed the trolley closer to the bed as Abi spoke to Dylan’s mum. ‘We’ll change the dressings on his arms this morning. You’re welcome to stay while we do this but don’t expect the skin on his arms to look normal. Even