Abi answered quickly, almost abruptly, and hoped Tanya didn’t hear the strain in her voice. She wasn’t telling a lie. Abi had seen them at Mark’s funeral but his betrayal had stunned her and she had avoided them. She had left as soon as she’d realised, not wanting to stay until the end, not wanting to make any accidental eye contact with Mark’s widow. She’d been terrified her guilt and shame and anger would have been written across her face for anyone to see.
The fear that she’d managed to put to one side after seeing Nikki’s name on her list returned with Tanya’s question. How had Tanya ended up here, in her consulting room? How had she found her? Was it a simple coincidence or was there more to it? Did she know something she wasn’t telling Abi? Was she deliberately stirring the pot?
Abi couldn’t ask—to do so would admit she’d known Mark and invite a whole lot of questions she wasn’t prepared, or probably equipped, to answer. It was better to feign ignorance. She could treat Nikki without ever having to reveal her connection, her history, with Nikki’s father and Tanya’s husband.
Did that make her as deceitful as Mark?
No, it didn’t. It couldn’t. Mark’s lies had destroyed Abi but that didn’t mean she wanted to do the same to his family. There was no point in saying anything now. There was nothing to be gained. To speak up would only hurt people. Keeping quiet was the best option, the only option, in Abi’s mind.
She was aware of Tanya still watching her, studying her closely, and it made her feel uncomfortable. In an attempt to distract her, she moved on to discuss the process for the surgery.
‘I will need some time to plan the surgery. I’ll need to take measurements and photos of Nikki’s face and if you have some photos of Nikki from before the accident that would be helpful. Did my secretary ask you for those when you booked the appointment?’
Tanya nodded and hoisted her handbag onto her lap and pulled out a large envelope. ‘I brought some with us.’ She passed the envelope to Abi, who shook the photos out onto her desk.
She felt herself go pale as she picked up the first picture. It was a family photo, a snapshot of Tanya, her two daughters and her husband. The resemblance between Nicolette and her father was even more obvious in this picture.
Mark had turned fifty when they had been in Afghanistan. Abi could remember the long weekend they’d had on leave shortly after, the weekend they had spent in Prague, celebrating. This picture must have been taken around the same time, some time in the past twelve months at least. Mark looked just as she remembered him. His dark hair had been greying slightly, starting at the temples where it had turned silver. He had carried a bit of extra weight but had been in great shape. He had looked vital, alive, robust. He didn’t look like the Mark she saw in her dreams. This wasn’t the Mark who had lain on the ground in the middle of a panicking crowd, bleeding onto the street, or the man whose life had drained out of him while she had tried in vain to save him.
In this photograph, taken when he’d been smiling and his pale blue eyes crinkled at the corners, he looked like a man you would trust. But it just showed that looks could be deceptive, for in reality he had also been a liar and a cheat.
But all that was in the past now. There was no way of bringing him back and she knew she wouldn’t want him back now, even if that had been an option. She was done with him. Now she just needed to get his family out of her life too.
She should be able to reconstruct Nicolette’s face without too much trouble. Despite everything, she could remember the shape and feel of Mark’s face under her fingers. She would be able to restore his daughter’s face.
She put the photo down and flicked through the others. Had she spent too long looking at that one? Too long looking at Mark’s face instead of at Nikki’s? Had she seemed distracted, inattentive, vague? She moved to the other photos—Nikki dressed for a school prom, her yearbook photo, a birthday party, a close-up head shot of her with her sister.
‘Can I keep these photos?’ she asked.
‘What are you going to do with them?’
‘I’ll make enlarged copies. The more information I can gather, the better the outcome of surgery.’
Tanya nodded. ‘So you think you can help?’
‘Yes.’ Abi’s voice was strong, confident.
She printed off a diagram of a face and measured Nikki’s features, jotting figures onto the paper record. She was relieved to find that her hands didn’t tremble as she measured the width of Nikki’s face, the distance between her eyes, the height of her philtrum, and took more photos.
‘What happens next?’ Nikki asked, as Abi put the camera down.
Now she needed some time. ‘I will see you again in a couple of days to go through the plan for the surgery in more detail once I’ve worked out the best approach, and if you want to go ahead we should be able to schedule the surgery for next week. I’ll get my secretary to make a follow-up appointment.’
Abi asked Jennifer to pencil the surgery into her diary and make sure that Damien would be free to assist her before she said goodbye. She could feel a headache starting and would really have liked to lie down somewhere quiet and pull the covers over her head. She needed Jonty’s company, or Damien’s. Either of them would help to settle her nerves and fears, relieve the tension she could feel building inside her, but she didn’t have either of them. And she couldn’t seek Damien out. She wouldn’t be able to explain her problem. She didn’t want to discuss it with him so she stretched her neck and shoulders, took two paracetamol tablets and got on with her day.
* * *
Abi had expected to have a few days to pull herself together before she saw Tanya again but it happened sooner than she expected. She was waiting for Damien as they had a meeting scheduled to discuss Nikki’s surgery further when Jennifer buzzed her office.
‘Mrs Farrington is here,’ Jennifer said.
‘Nikki’s appointment isn’t until tomorrow,’ Abi replied.
‘She knows that. Nikki isn’t with her. Mrs Farrington wants to know if she can have a minute of your time. She has some more photos for you.’
Nikki’s surgery was scheduled for next week. She didn’t need to see Tanya, there was absolutely no reason to see her, but she found herself saying yes.
She carried a fistful of photos in with her. Photos Abi assumed were of Nikki, and she wondered why she couldn’t have left them with Jennifer, but as Tanya marched across to her desk and fanned the pictures out across the surface, Abi realised why. These weren’t photos of Nikki. They were photos of Mark.
And Abi.
‘I knew I’d seen you before,’ Tanya said.
Abi clenched her fists at her sides to stop herself from reaching out and picking up the pictures. ‘I worked with your husband,’ she replied. Her heart was hammering in her chest and it made her voice jump in her throat.
Tanya spread the photos out further, shuffling through the assortment until she found the one she wanted. She pulled out a shot that showed Mark with his arm around Abi’s shoulders. She was beaming up at him, looking like a woman in love. It had been taken on their weekend’s leave in Prague, a belated celebration of Mark’s fiftieth birthday. At the time Abi had thought it was the most beautiful city, the most beautiful place, in the world but it had all been lies. Abi couldn’t believe that woman in the photo was her. It had only been taken nine months ago but she had been so naive back then. She had grown up a lot since and now she didn’t even recognise this woman.
‘Let’s be honest, shall we?’ Tanya said. ‘This was more than a working relationship. A lot more.’
‘Where did you get these?’ Abi’s voice was wobbling and her hands were shaking. She kept them clenched at her sides but now it was in an attempt to stop the tremors.
‘They were sent to me with Mark’s things. All neatly boxed