reached out and held on to the back of Lila’s shirt. “This was always my worry, that she’d go headfirst into the basket. It gets a bit treacherous when we get to the bottom.”
Lila squirmed against Marcus’s grip and let go of the basket, dropping down to sit on the floor.
“What if we just do this?” Ashley grabbed the basket and dumped the remaining toys onto the floor.
Lila’s eyes were wide with shock. She stared at Ashley, not moving. Ashley was duly mortified, bracing for a bout of tears. Then the little girl’s face lit up with delight. She giggled so hard her shoulders bounced. She scrambled to her hands and knees, crawled to the pile of toys, picked up a block and passed it to Ashley, who wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. So she put it back in the basket. Lila laughed again and went for another toy.
Marcus sat back and shook his head, smiling. “Leave it to you to devise a new game.”
“I’m just following her cues,” Ashley said, tossing toys into the basket. Once it was filled, she sent the toys crashing to the floor. Lila nearly exploded with fits of laughter.
Marcus joined in, and they played the new game for a good hour until Lila eventually got tired of it and began crawling around the apartment. He and Ashley followed the baby as she explored. She’d pull herself up to standing next to the couch or coffee table, stepping side to side, holding on. At one point she let go of the couch, reached for the coffee table and made the short journey.
“She’s going to be walking soon,” Ashley said. “Like, really soon.”
“I know. It’s all going so fast.” Marcus sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit. You should pace yourself.”
“I’m starting to get that idea.”
He put his arm around Ashley and pulled her close, kissing her forehead. Lila took notice and turned back to them, planting her hands on Marcus’s knees and bouncing on her toes. “Do you want up?” He let go of Ashley and scooped Lila up into his arms, planting her on his lap, facing him.
Lila slumped against him, resting the side of her face against his chest, looking at Ashley. Her big brown eyes took everything in—studying, appraising, nothing judgmental. Just collecting data.
Ashley took Lila’s hand, the same dimpled fingers that loved to rub her Daddy’s stubble. Her skin was so pristine, no signs of age, so fresh and new. Innocent. How could her mother have left these tiny hands behind? How could she have walked away from this sweet face? Perhaps that only underscored what pain Elle must have been in. And could Ashley ever fill the void that was left behind? Or would she spend her days feeling as though she would never measure up?
“I see why you’re so protective of her. I see why you only want to hold on to her and never let her go. I can see why you didn’t want me within five hundred feet of her.”
“Please tell me that you know I don’t feel like that anymore. More than anything, I want you to spend time with her. I’m hoping you’ll fall in love with her the way you fell in love with me.”
Ashley smiled and snuggled up to him on the couch. How could she not fall in love with Lila? Just a few hours with her and Lila had already made herself at home in Ashley’s heart. Right alongside her dad.
Monday morning had arrived and Ashley couldn’t have been any more sad and conflicted. Her heart felt as though it weighed five hundred pounds. Today was the day she got her apartment back, the day the real cleanup would start, the day her new builder would set in motion the thing that had brought her and Marcus together. She now worried it might tear them apart.
Today was supposed to be a sign of setting things back on the right track, but she knew very well that pursuing things with her apartment was wrong. She belonged with Marcus and Lila. But she’d also put down a ten-thousand-dollar deposit with her new builder. That was an awful lot of money to walk away from when everything was still so new with Marcus. Considering everything she’d come from, and everything her parents counted on her for, she couldn’t say that it didn’t matter. It did matter. A lot.
All day Sunday, she’d waited for Marcus to insert his opinion on the matter. He was never shy with what he wanted. So where did that leave her? They’d had a wonderful day yesterday, and she really hadn’t wanted to ruin it. Now she wished she’d provoked it out of him.
Marcus came into the kitchen and blew out a breath, Lila in his arms. “The nanny just called, and her mother had a gall bladder attack. She’s on her way to the hospital right now. Her mother might have to have surgery.”
Ashley covered her mouth. “That’s awful. Is she going to be okay?”
“They think so, but needless to say, I don’t have a backup plan for Lila today. Joanna and I both have a full schedule.”
“I’ll be home all day dealing with the contractor and the apartment, but I’m used to multi-tasking. I’ll take her.” Ashley reached for Lila. This time the little girl actually went to her. That felt like a major victory.
“Are you sure? It’s a big responsibility and you already have a lot on your plate.”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “I’ll carry her when I need to be next door and we’ll otherwise be here. I’ll find a way to make it work.” She couldn’t believe she was selling Marcus on the idea that she could handle it. “And didn’t you say that you wanted Lila and me to spend as much time together as possible? We’ll do great. Go to work.”
“So, starting up with the new builder today. That’s a big step.”
Ashley glanced at the clock. It was eight thirty. He had to leave for the office any minute. Why did he bring this up now when he could have staged a protest yesterday? “It is a big step. Do you care to weigh in on this big step?”
He considered her, his eyes sweeping across her face. “I don’t want to talk you into anything. That’s been my biggest downfall in the past. I’m not about to repeat that mistake.”
“What if I give you a free pass? I’d like to know what you’re thinking.” Please. Please let me know what you’re thinking.
“I’m not about to make you nervous or skittish about anything. I’m not going to pressure you. You make the right decision for you, and I’ll learn to live with it. I just want you to remember one thing.”
“What’s that?”
He took her hand. “I love you.”
Those words felt like code for fire your contractor. “I love you, too, but I really just wish you’d tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to fire my builder? Put the project on hold?”
He sighed. “I’m serious. It might be difficult for me, but I need you to make this decision on your own.” He pecked her on the cheek. “I have to get to the office or I’ll be late.”
She took in a deep breath. Ten thousand dollars. “Okay. I’ll call you later.”
Marcus left for work, and the fire department handed over her apartment forty minutes later. A cleaning team started immediately after that, airing out the space and getting it ready for construction to begin again. These were all things that had to happen no matter what happened between Marcus and her, but it still felt wrong. Every minute of it felt wrong. Even with ten thousand dollars hanging in the balance, it all ate at her.
Ashley fed Lila a snack of yogurt and graham crackers. Then they emptied the toys out of the basket and put them back in for nearly an hour. These were the sorts of moments she’d worried about, whether Lila would feel comfortable with her, but it was going really well. It was going so well that Ashley knew she couldn’t use that as an excuse anymore. She and Lila would be fine if she could bring herself to take on the responsibility.