across the hall to her meeting.
Phil with Koch Construction was waiting for her out in the hall. “Ms. George. It’s nice to meet you. Why don’t we start by walking through the apartment, and you can tell me what was planned and what didn’t quite get done.”
Ashley let him in, and they toured her apartment, working around the cleaning crew who were a buzz of activity. The kitchen was a gut job. No question about that. In the rest of the apartment, most of the flooring would be fine, but the entire apartment would need new drywall. The smoke smell would never come out, not even with a fresh coat of paint. Phil made it clear that other builders might tell her otherwise, but the smoke smell always came back.
They went through the guest room and the powder room, eventually arriving back at Ashley’s bedroom. Lila fussed over the baby monitor. The meeting with the builder was important, but an unhappy Lila seemed urgent.
“Phil, I need to go get the baby.” She decided it was easier just to call Lila “the baby,” not to explain her tenuous arrangement with Marcus. She had to admit that she loved the way it sounded.
Phil shrugged. “You shouldn’t dote on a baby too much. They usually just cry themselves back to sleep.”
Cry themselves back to sleep. That sounded like hell on earth. One minute of Lila fussing and Ashley was ready to surrender. Sure, she was Jell-O. At least she knew this about herself. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m a wimp. I’ll be right back.”
She dashed across the hall and caught sight of Mr. Bunny as she ran through the living room. She grabbed him, then hurried into Lila’s room and scooped her out of the crib. “Are you okay?”
Lila cuddled up into her neck, and Ashley cuddled right back. How could she not? Lila accepted affection with no reservation and she gave it in the same way. It was a wonderful experience, even if Ashley had had only a small dose.
Lila shifted, and Ashley felt something wet on her arm. “Oh no. I forgot to change your diaper before your nap.” I’m such an idiot. She went through the drawers and got out a clean pair of leggings and the cutest top she could find. “I need to take you shopping. Your father does not have much of a girlish flair for fashion.” She handed Mr. Bunny to Lila so she could hold him while Ashley changed her diaper and clothes. She wasn’t the fastest in the world, but she’d get the hang of it. Eventually.
Lila on her hip, Ashley returned to Phil and the question of what should be done in the bedroom. The minute she walked through the door and saw the wall, the wall that was adjacent to Marcus’s room, it dawned on her exactly what she should do. She didn’t need to walk away from ten thousand dollars or from Marcus and Lila. What she really needed to do was have Phil knock down a wall.
* * *
Marcus’s cell phone rang. It was Ashley.
“Everything okay?”
“Actually, everything’s great. But I just met with the builder, and I’m wondering if you can come home early and look at something in my apartment.”
Something in her apartment? Was she finally going to do it? Crush him with the news that when left to her own devices, she would continue on the path she’d chosen months ago? “And this is important?”
“Yes. I think you’ll be happy with it. Just come home. I mean, come over to my side of home.”
His head was pounding on the cab ride home—part headache, part Ashley heartache. Could he really be so lucky that this worked out? Or had he let false hope consume him? He wanted to think he was beyond that by now, but he and Ashley had been through so many ups and downs. It wasn’t unreasonable to think there were more downs coming. In fact, it was only logical.
He knocked at her door, which she answered quickly, Lila on her hip. That one look confirmed what he’d hoped for—she was made to be a mom. There was no doubt in his mind about that. He kissed his two favorite people in the world, once again reminding himself to take a deep breath, to let things happen. If she was going to move forward with her apartment, they could always turn around and sell it once he proposed. If she said yes. The most important thing here was that he didn’t repeat his past mistakes. He wouldn’t push her into what she didn’t want.
“Come on,” Ashley said. “The thing I want to show you is in the bedroom.”
You mean the place you’ll be sleeping without me? “I thought your bedroom was done.” He came to a dead stop outside her room. He couldn’t take another step. He didn’t want to face what she was about to say. “If you’re going to hurt me, Ashley, just do it now. It just feels like you’re throwing your future in my face. This future you’re building for yourself, one that only includes me and Lila on the periphery. It’s not fair to us. And frankly, I don’t think it’s fair to you, either, because the truth is that we belong together. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”
Ashley stood there, staring at him. “So now you tell me your opinion? Finally?” Lila was still in Ashley’s arms, playing with her hair.
“Yes. I tried to keep my opinion to myself and let you make your decision without any involvement from me, but I can’t do it. I could give you five hundred reasons why we shouldn’t be having this discussion, why you shouldn’t be telling me whatever fabulous idea you have for redoing your apartment.”
“And let me give you one reason why we should.” She curled her finger and bounced Lila on her hip, looking at his little girl. “Don’t you think Daddy should stop being such a grump and come with us into the bedroom?”
“Da,” Lila said, melting his heart. It really did kill him to see how adorable Ashley and Lila were together. If he was already going to be dead, whatever Ashley was about to tell him couldn’t kill him any more.
“Okay. Fine.” What had Ashley told him hundreds of times? To relax and enjoy himself? He failed to see where the enjoyable part was in this exercise, but he’d go.
“So, here’s what I talked about with the builder.” She marched to the far corner of her bedroom and smacked the wall. “We start here and we knock down the whole thing, all the way to the other side.”
He sputtered. “Ashley. My bedroom is on the other side of that wall. Where exactly would you presume I sleep during this phase of construction? And why in the world do you want to do that, anyway?”
“It would connect our two apartments. We’d use my bedroom and half of your bedroom and make a larger master bedroom. Then we could enlarge Lila’s room. She’s going to need more space than she has right now.”
His brain sputtered, stopping and starting. Once again, she managed to pull a scenario out of thin air. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You want to do this?”
“I do. I was standing here with the contractor after I’d put Lila down for a nap. I heard her on the baby monitor, and it felt like my heart was being torn out. I couldn’t listen to it for even a minute. The thing that had once seemed more important than anything was far less important than taking care of Lila.”
“I’m very familiar with that feeling. It’s heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time.”
“So I went and got her and changed her diaper. I think that was my mistake. I didn’t change her before I put her down for a nap.”
“You’ll learn these things. All new parents do.”
“I’m figuring that out.” She smiled, stepping toe-to-toe with him. “You know, I don’t like to do things I’m not sure I can be good at. But I realized that this is one thing that nobody ever gets perfect at. I made a mistake, but she was still fine. And she seems perfectly happy.”
“I’m looking at her face, and I can tell you that she’s more than perfectly happy.” He pulled them both into his arms, the two women he couldn’t live for even a day without. Ashley hadn’t left. She hadn’t tried to find a way to slow things down, even though that was her normal inclination.