if I’m totally honest. I’m actually pleased for Ben that he’s found happiness and I’m not sorry that he’s had a child, but I am sorry that it might not happen for me.’ She didn’t want Ben, there was no sense of longing, of wishing they were still a couple. The spark was well and truly extinguished, but she did want what he had.
‘I’m here for you. Just tell me what you need me to do. Do you want to get out of here?’ he asked.
She did. Desperately. She wanted Seb to take her away from all this. Now that he was here she knew he would be all she could think about. But he’d asked her what she needed, not what she wanted. And she needed to have dinner with her parents.
She shook her head. ‘I’m supposed to be having dinner with my family.’ She didn’t want to introduce him to anyone, she wasn’t ready for that. She didn’t want to explain or start any rumours. It wasn’t worth it when it would all be over in a week. These considerate gestures that Seb insisted on making—turning up here to offer support, walking with her across the harbour bridge, bringing her a cup of tea every morning in bed—not to mention being simply gorgeous, were going to make it hard to walk away, but there was no other option. That was the agreement they had made. She wasn’t ready for the end yet. But it wasn’t her choice.
‘Why don’t you do that, then, and I’ll see if I can catch up with Cal and meet you later. After dinner.’
He didn’t push her for an invite. He seemed to know what she needed before she did. She wanted to go with him now but knowing he would be waiting for her at the end of the day was enough. She was glad he was here.
She nodded. ‘Okay. Where are you staying?’ she asked, hoping he wasn’t staying at Callum’s. That was her house. That would be weird.
‘I booked a room at the hotel.’
She didn’t need to hear any more. That was perfect.
‘Room eleven,’ he added with a wink and a grin, and Luci nearly gave in right then. She was sorely tempted to ditch the family dinner in favour of jumping into bed with Seb.
But instead she had to be content with grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him towards her. She kissed him hard, not caring who saw them. She didn’t care any more. He had come all this way for her and she didn’t want to waste a minute of the time they had left together.
She’d be gone again tomorrow. Let them talk.
‘I’ll see you later,’ she said as she pushed him out of the pub.
* * *
Luci sneaked into her parents’ house just before sunrise, avoiding the fourth and ninth floorboards in the hall because she knew they creaked. She felt like a teenager again, even though she knew she shouldn’t have to worry. After all, she’d been married and divorced, but old habits died hard.
She hoped they were asleep. She didn’t want to explain where she’d been, what she’d been doing. She had spent the night in Seb’s bed and after saying goodbye he’d headed off early in order to make it back to Adelaide in time for his return flight.
Luci climbed into her old bed but she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was turning in circles.
She needed to start planning her next move. To work out how she was going to fulfil her dreams. Seb wasn’t going to be a part of that. She knew he didn’t want a proper relationship and she was determined to fulfil her dreams of motherhood one way or another. She assumed it would have to be through adoption and she wanted to find a partner who would support her in that. She couldn’t afford to waste time on Seb. They had eight more days together and then it would be over. They would go back to their own lives. She couldn’t focus on Seb, there were more important things for her to worry about.
The decisions were hers to make and hers alone.
* * *
Luci disembarked from the plane in Sydney and switched on her phone. As expected, there was a message from Seb asking her to text when she arrived safely, but there was also one from her GP, asking her to call back. Luci waited until she got back to the apartment to return the call.
‘Could you come in for a chat?’ her GP asked. ‘There’s something I need to discuss with you.’
Her GP was in the neighbouring town to Vickers Hill. Luci hadn’t wanted to see anyone with ties to her dad’s clinic so ever since she’d got her driver’s licence she’d made the fifteen-minute drive along the highway.
‘Actually, I can’t,’ she said. ‘I’m in Sydney. Is there a problem? I’ll be here for another three weeks.’ Luci couldn’t imagine what it was about. She was perfectly healthy and so was everyone else, as far as she knew.
‘Can you talk now?’
‘Yes,’ she said, sitting on the couch.
‘I received a letter today from the lab that did your fertility tests. The letter contains your test results. Apparently they were upgrading their computer system at the same time that you went for testing and some of the results were mistakenly filed as “sent” when they were actually pending. The lab has only just realised their mistake. I’m sorry, I never realised that these weren’t forwarded to you. You haven’t been in for an appointment.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Luci replied. ‘It turns out the results were irrelevant.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It was obvious that the problem was with me. Ben had no trouble getting Catriona pregnant. The results don’t matter, it’s not like I’m in a situation to have a baby now. I’m divorced and single, I’m not trying to get pregnant any more.’
‘I still think you should know the results. It’s not quite as simple as you think. The tests indicated that the problem wasn’t solely with you.’
‘What does that mean? Ben’s reproductive system seems to work fine.’
‘The problem was with the two of you together.’ Luci frowned as Veronica continued. ‘Your body was producing antibodies against Ben’s sperm. It’s very uncommon and especially rare to see in women, but it meant that your body was having a kind of allergic reaction to the sperm. The antibodies attach to the sperm and impair motility, making it harder for the sperm to penetrate the cervical mucus and therefore fertilise the egg. IVF would have been a relatively simple procedure for you. In your situation there would have been a high chance of success for the two of you.’
‘What?’ Luci couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘We could have had children?’ They could have had the family she’d dreamed of?
‘With IVF assistance, almost certainly,’ Veronica agreed.
‘How?’
‘The sperm would be injected directly into the harvested egg. If the sperm aren’t swimming freely there would have been no opportunity for your body to attack. The antibodies wouldn’t have had a chance to attach to the sperm. With IVF a viable embryo would have been created and it would then have been implanted.’
‘So I can have kids?’ Luci still wasn’t absolutely sure that she was getting the right message. Was that what Veronica was telling her? She held her breath as she waited for the final confirmation.
‘Yes. Either with the right partner or with IVF.’
Luci breathed out as tears welled in her eyes.
‘It’s rare for a woman to produce anti-sperm antibodies so it’s quite likely that with a different partner you wouldn’t have the same issues,’ Veronica went on, but Luci was only half listening. She was still processing the idea that she could have children.
‘But don’t forget, this condition is very successfully overcome with IVF assistance. Identifying this is a good thing.’ Veronica was still speaking. ‘You and Ben may have been incompatible but that doesn’t mean all men will be. And there’s more good news. Your eggs were healthy. You’re