his boat, alone, in Fairlight Bay, watching the lights go on and off in Callum’s apartment and wondering what Luci was up to. How she was doing. If she was missing him.
For the past three years he had been working toward fixing his boat, making it habitable on a permanent basis, but now he felt trapped. It was supposed to be his sanctuary but instead it felt like a prison cell. He escaped its confines every day, taking his bike from the garage he’d rented and cruising the highways, but the feeling of freedom never lasted. He didn’t want to be free. He didn’t want to be able to come and go as he pleased. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be with Luci.
He shouldn’t miss her and he knew he should be pleased for her. She had an opportunity to be a mother, had a chance to get what she’d always wanted. But he wanted that to be him.
He had spent the last three years convincing himself, and everyone else, that he was fine, that he was happy to be alone, but he hadn’t stopped to see if he actually was and now that Luci was gone from his life and he was alone again he realised that he wasn’t okay. He needed her in his life.
He needed her.
He loved her.
And he didn’t want to think about Luci finding another man. He didn’t want to give someone else the chance he’d thrown away.
Once again he hadn’t realised how badly he wanted something until it was gone but, unlike last time, it wasn’t too late. He wanted Luci in his life and he would do what he could to keep her.
She wanted a family and he wanted her. Could he give her what she wanted?
He was going to have to because he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it.
All he needed to know was whether or not she wanted him.
He knew she was due to leave Sydney tomorrow but he didn’t know where she was headed. What were her plans? What was she going to do?
He only had a few hours to find out. It was two days until Christmas and Luci was due to leave Sydney on Christmas Eve.
He had one last chance to see her.
* * *
Luci had finished cleaning the apartment. She was leaving tomorrow. She would be back in Vickers Hill for Christmas.
She went into Callum’s bedroom, just for one final check to make sure it was clean and tidy, although she knew it was. Seb had changed the sheets and tidied up. She knew because she was in here every day, thinking about him. She sat on the bed and ran her hands over the covers. They were tucked tight, not a stray crease in sight. Almost as if Seb had never been there.
She thought about the first night they’d made love. It had been in this bed. They’d been in too much of a hurry to get any further; they’d barely made it to here. But the bed showed no sign of their intimacy. It was almost as if it never happened.
But she had proof that it wasn’t a dream.
Her hand went to her stomach.
There was the proof of what they had shared. She had all the proof she needed.
She had two things left to do—pack her bags and then see if she could get hold of Seb.
She had debated about when she should speak to him, when she should give him the news. She had thought about waiting until thirteen weeks, or maybe even eighteen, after her first scan, until she knew everything was all right, but she had decided it would be better to tell him face-to-face while she was still in Sydney, and she knew part of her wanted an excuse to see him one last time before she left.
There would be no easy way to share her news and she knew he didn’t like surprises but he had the right to know about the baby. Their baby.
He had the right to have the opportunity to choose to be involved. Or not. She had no idea what he would choose to do but that was his prerogative.
Luci hadn’t really ever expected to end up a single mother. Before the phone call from her GP she had assumed she would have to adopt in order to have a family and adopting in South Australia meant she needed a partner. She had assumed she would need to find a man.
But now she had the opportunity she’d been wanting—the chance to be a mother. A month ago she would have leapt at the chance, any chance, to hold a baby of her own in her arms, so why did she now want more? She knew she could manage on her own. She knew she didn’t need a partner. The trouble was, this wasn’t about what she needed. It was about what she wanted.
So she was getting what she’d always wanted, except now she wanted more. She wanted Seb too.
Although she knew she should be content with what was in store for her, it was hard when her heart ached constantly for what was missing from her life. She had traded one heartache for another. Why couldn’t she have it all?
She stood up. She needed to get moving. Procrastination never solved anything.
She was staring at the clothes in her wardrobe, wondering where to start, when she was interrupted by a knock on the door.
She opened the door and burst into tears.
Seb was standing on the other side.
‘Luci, what on earth’s the matter?’ he asked as he stepped across the threshold. He opened his arms and gathered her up, holding her close.
She let him comfort her. She was right where she wanted to be. If only she could just stay here, maybe everything would turn out as she hoped.
She cried into his shoulder and sniffed as she said, ‘Nothing, I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.’ Plus I’m an emotional wreck and I’m carrying your baby. But that was not the way to deliver her news.
‘Are you unwell?’
He stepped back, releasing her from his arms but not letting go completely. It felt good to have her in his arms again but he’d needed to see her. He’d needed to make sure she was okay. She looked like she had lost weight and her blue-grey eyes were filled with tears, but otherwise she looked fantastic. Her skin glowed and she looked perfectly healthy.
‘No,’ she said. ‘I’m fine. I’m glad you’re here.’
‘Are you sure? You don’t look happy to see me.’
She laughed and Seb breathed a sigh of relief. She sounded like the Luci he loved, full of laughter and happiness even if she had just been sobbing in his arms.
‘Of course I am. I’ve missed you.’
Good. That cheered him up. Perhaps things would turn out in his favour. ‘I’ve missed you too.’
She was looking up at him. Her eyes were shining and her pink lips were slightly parted, like an opening rosebud. He had come here to talk to her, to beg her for another chance, but he couldn’t resist. He bent his head and kissed her.
She sighed gently and leaned into him and he felt her arms loop around his neck as she kissed him back. Soft and supple in his arms, he could feel his soul being restored as he held her. She tasted like heaven and he wished he could stay like this for eternity.
But he needed to find out if that was possible.
‘Luci,’ he sighed as he pulled away. He kept a finger under her chin, keeping her face tilted up at him. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘Oh.’ Something flashed behind her eyes. Was it disappointment?
He took her hand and led her to the couch. The place was spotless and its tidiness served to remind him that his time was limited. If he didn’t get this problem resolved tonight, it would be too late. She would be gone.
He kept hold of her hand as they sat, making her sit close to him.
‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Is something wrong?’
Seb nodded. ‘Yes. I’ve made a mistake. A big one. But I’m hoping it’s not too late to fix