What had once been exhilarating and sexy as all hell had suddenly turned into an exercise in torture.
DETERMINED not to make physical contact with Beck on the motorcycle, Jan pushed as far back on the pillion as it allowed. She planted her feet on the bars and braced her hands behind her along the edge of the elongated seat, gritting her teeth as if doing so would keep her steady and safe. Once settled, she gave Beck directions to her house.
She used to love riding on the back of Beck’s motorbike, but this time it made her feel jittery and tightly strung. Out of practice, she stared at the back of his neck rather than watch the road spin by.
The moonlit sky and pleasant temperature normally would have made for a perfect night to ride with the top down in a car. But this? Completely vulnerable on the back of Beck’s bike, she chewed on her lower lip and prayed she’d make it home in one piece. When had she become such a chicken?
After a stoplight, he jumped into what felt like hyper-speed and her hands went flying around his leather-covered torso. But Beck was on a residential street where the speed limit was thirty-five m.p.h. What felt like reckless abandon to Jan was probably because of the hot toddy and the real speed doubtless closer to twenty-five.
Turning her face, if it weren’t for the bulky helmet, she’d have smashed her cheek against his back. He stiffened and sat a bit straighter. As it was, her chin dug into the muscle just above his scapula. Solid and steady, he stayed ramrod straight, making it easier for her to anchor herself to him.
A quick reminder of the stable force he’d once been should have helped her relax. It didn’t. Her arms were around the last man on earth she’d ever wanted to see again.
Jan clenched her eyes tight and held on as if her life depended on it, and remained that way for several minutes until he slowed down and entered her driveway.
What would her neighbors think about the quiet and withdrawn condo dweller arriving home well after midnight on the back of a chopper? It almost made her grin, but she remembered who the driver was, and lost all sense of amusement.
After forcing her eyes open, she jumped off the bike before he had a chance to help. She almost lost her balance but managed to steady herself after a series of klutzy hops. Rather than watch his long legs and tight ass when he expertly removed himself from the machine, she fidgeted with the helmet. Yeah, she’d peeked first. Her hands fluttered and made little progress in loosening the strap.
“Here,” he said, stepping too close and reaching for her. “Let me get that.”
Like magic he unlatched it and had her free and clear in a flash. She swallowed and stepped back quickly, almost tripping on the curb. He caught her by the elbow.
“Whoa. You OK?”
“I’m fine. Fine. Thanks for the ride. Goodnight.” She wanted to run but decided it would be too obvious. Avoiding his eyes, she turned and forced a normal pace toward her porch. He strode right behind.
“I’m fine, remember? You don’t have to see me to my door.”
“What would your mother think if I didn’t?”
Her mother? When had been the last time she had considered what her mother thought about anything? Ever since Karen Stewart had told her to “get rid of it”, as if Jan’s pregnancy had been nothing more than an inconvenience, she’d questioned her mother’s advice on anything.
Beck used to go out of his way to impress Mrs. Stewart, as if knowing that the key to any girl’s heart started by winning over the mother. Karen had been anything but impressed with the wild and edgy teen, and Jan had never been able to convince her otherwise. His joining the Army and her subsequent pregnancy news had had Karen cursing Beck’s very existence. It seemed she’d had plans of pushing her daughter into the limelight, with high hopes of making a buck or two off her looks. The pregnancy had forced Karen to come up with a different idea. She’d refused the traditional adoption agency the school counselor had found, instead finding an ad in a local paper and pursuing private, open adoption with a couple and a special lawyer willing to pay more than the usual prenatal health-care fees. Then she’d forced her underage daughter to lie.
Jan and Beck reached her door and she fished through her purse for the key. Once she found it, she glanced up. Beck was staring at her with intent dark eyes. Sharp angles of moonlight and porch lamp shadowed the serious mask of his face. She tried to read his expression but fell short. Something told her to be still.
He moved forward to frame her face with surprisingly warm hands for someone who’d just driven a motorcycle. Cold fear swept over Jan when she realized he planned to kiss her. She sucked in a breath of protest, but was forced to hold it when his lips covered hers. Her hands flapped at her sides. His hungry, searching kiss tore at her good sense. She dropped her purse. Her hands found their way up his arms to his neck, the neck she’d stared at the entire drive home, and she kissed him back.
With mind battling body, her will lost when she parted her lips and stole a taste of Beck’s velvet-smooth mouth. His tongue pressed against hers and jagged, raw energy sliced through her center.
Beck.
She remembered his kisses. They always led to heaven…or the back seat of his father’s car.
Her lips searched his mouth, drawing on long-forgotten memories of frantic make-out sessions with the hottest boy in high school. The guy all of her friends had warned her against getting involved with. The one who’d taken her virginity on a special night she’d never forget as long as she lived.
The father of the baby she’d lied about. The baby she had given away.
Beck.
His demanding kiss guided her from far-away thoughts back to the moment. The man still had it, and she felt whatever “it” was all the way down to her toes. With her body swirling with sensations, and her knees growing weaker by the second, she somehow managed to come to her senses and tore away from the dangerous kiss.
She shook her head and sputtered for air. “What the hell are you trying to do?”
Calculating hazel eyes delved deep beyond her guard. “Just testing,” he said.
She shuddered.
He bent down and picked up her purse, handing it to her. “Goodnight, January,” he said, as if he hadn’t felt a thing. “I’ll see you at the hospital.”
Stunned, she watched Beck saunter to his motorcycle, put on the helmet, rev the engine and ride off into the night. By the time he’d disappeared round the corner, her heart still hadn’t figured out what a normal rhythm was.
What the hell had he been thinking? Beck hit the freeway at breakneck speed. Maybe he could ride off the old feeling that had penetrated the barrier around his heart. Damn! It was supposed to have been a revenge kiss, angry and rude, but it had quickly turned into a steam-up-January’s-glasses-and-mess-with-Beck’s-head kind of kiss. Wearing the heavy armor of retribution, he hadn’t expected to react so thoroughly to her. He’d assumed he’d become immune, but time and pain hadn’t changed a thing.
The soft, sexy sparks had started almost immediately at the touch of her lips to his, and had soon escalated to near fireworks. Her tongue had nearly driven him out of his mind. It had been all he could do to keep from pressing her against the door and feeling every inch of her. If she hadn’t stopped him, he’d be thinking of ways to get inside her house and into her bed right this minute.
This wasn’t how he was supposed to get even. He wasn’t supposed to want her. If he wanted to get even, he’d have to toughen up, regain her trust, then move in for the payback.
He stepped on the gas and hit the highway as if in a race to save his life.
“Tell me. Tell me. Come on, share.” Carmen zipped up beside Jan the moment she arrived at