up at some bar that I’m at to save my life and then bring me here—wherever here is—to do what? Hide out? Until when? What now? We can’t stay here forever. I have a life...and it no longer includes you. That’s the way you wanted it, remember? I just don’t understand, Nathan.”
Valid questions. She was a smart woman. But to answer truthfully? That he always knew where she was since the day he’d pretended to kick her to the curb; that he’d never forgotten a moment of their time together and the memories were both painful and treasured? That he’d wished a million times over that they’d met in a different life so that maybe they’d have had a chance? Hell, no. He couldn’t say any of those things.
She peered at him closely, needing answers. “Nathan?”
And he couldn’t give them without making the conscious choice to be straight with her about every facet of their former life together. She would just have to be content with the information he was willing to share. Besides, keeping her alive was his objective—not baring his soul and begging for her forgiveness.
Chapter 3
“Nathan?” The strain in her voice was evident as she stared at him, almost begging him for answers, but she could tell by the tight press of his lips that she’d have better luck prying open the vault doors at Fort Knox. “Fine. Keep your secrets. But if you can’t give me a straight answer as to why I would be safer here with you than with the police, then I’m going to walk out that door and keep going until I find a road. I refuse to sit here like a little mouse under your thumb just because you say so. It’s been a while since we’ve spent any time together so let me remind you—I don’t blindly follow orders just because someone tells me to. Either start talking, or I start walking. Plain and simple.”
“Jaci, don’t be stupid. I do remember a few details about our time together and one of those details is that you suck at direction. You have no idea where you are and you’ll likely end up in a ravine before you find a road. Do yourself a favor and just stay put.”
“No.” She glared when he did a short double take at her blunt refusal. He bracketed his lean hips with his hands and returned her glare. Other people might’ve cowered in the face of that commanding stare but Jaci was neither cowed nor intimidated by Nathan Isaacs. “You can glower at me all day. It won’t change a damn thing. I deserve answers and if you’re not going to give them to me, then I’d rather take my chances out there than here with a man who thinks it’s okay to treat me like a child.”
“I’m trying to save your life,” he said, his voice low and tense. “Don’t let our past cloud your judgment. I’m the one person who can keep you safe.”
“Why?” she shot back, not willing to back down. “I’m sure the police are trained to protect people. Why does it have to be you, Nathan?”
A wealth of unsaid conversations, of angst and regret, pain and shame shimmered in his dark eyes, momentarily taking her breath away at the stark exposure. But within a heartbeat he shuttered his gaze with a barked answer. “Because that’s just the way it is, Jaci. Deal with it. You’re not leaving. End of story. And if you try, I will hog-tie you to the bed. Don’t push it.”
It was a warning and a threat so why did a spark of awareness just sizzle down every nerve ending, causing memories of their sweat-slicked bodies sliding against one another to tumble free from the locked box in her head? She swallowed and forcibly shoved those thoughts far from her mind. If she needed a memory of Nathan, she’d just dig out the one where he told her that the idea of having sex with her for the rest of his life was more than he could stomach.
A spasm of pain rippled through her body, giving her an agonizing jolt back to reality. He could not ride in like the hero just because it suited his warped sense of chivalry when he’d been the biggest bastard on the planet two short months ago. Her hands clenched into fists with pent-up rage at the man who’d broken her heart so grievously, and at that moment she didn’t care if he was the only body standing between her and a Mexican drug cartel; she didn’t want his help or his brand of chivalry. Nathan could choke on his offer of aid and protection, Jaci thought, staring a cold hole through Nathan’s back when he turned away from her.
“Screw you, Nathan,” she murmured. “I never asked you to save me. If you want to play the hero, play it with someone else. I’m out of here.”
She bolted for the door. And she would’ve made it, too, if Nathan hadn’t been bigger, stronger and faster than the feelings of regret and shame that followed on the heels of a drunken binge.
“Damn it, Jaci,” he growled, jerking her over his shoulder and slapping her hard on the rear end when she shrieked and began kicking his front and pummeling his back. “I warned you. You’re not leaving unless I say so.”
“Put me down, you bastard!” Jaci screamed. “I’d rather die than remain stuck in this house with you! I hate you! Do you hear me? I hate you!”
“Yeah, yeah, well, too bad,” he shot back. “And if you don’t stop wiggling around I swear I’m going to hog-tie you naked!”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me.”
She landed a good kick against the hard planes of his stomach and he grunted but otherwise kept his forward pace to the bedroom where he tossed her none too gently onto the bed. She bounced with a shriek and tried to scramble away but Nathan grasped both ankles and yanked her toward him. She kicked and hissed with rage even as tears stung her eyes but she didn’t let up. She hoped he got a faceful of flying feet for his trouble.
“Damn it, Jaci!” he roared when she refused to stop. He lunged and straddled her, shocking her with the sudden weight of his body across hers. He captured her flailing arms at the wrists and wrenched them over her head, stretching her so that she couldn’t move. Her breath came hard and fast as a long curl of her hair landed across her face, obscuring her vision in her left eye. She angrily blew the hair from her eye and ignored the uncomfortable awareness kindling to life in her body. She would not allow even a spark of attraction to flare, no matter that he remained a stable fixture in her most erotic dreams. It was much too easy to remember how it felt to lie beneath his solid strength, clinging to him as if her life depended on it. She bit down on her tongue and tasted blood. Remember the pain of his rejection, she told herself with blunt force. Remember how you cried for weeks.
“Are you finished?” he asked in a hard voice. “You need to get a grip. Do you hear me? This is serious. Get that through your damn head. Do you want to die? Is that what this is about? You’ve just stopped caring about whatever happens to you? That you couldn’t really care less if you live or die? Is that why you’ve been hanging out at sleazy bars and drinking yourself into a stupor every chance you get? What the hell is wrong with you, Jaci?”
She stared up at him, unable to believe what she’d just heard. Had he forgotten how he’d left her? Had he spaced on how he’d ripped her life apart and walked away without caring about the damage? A separate train of thought followed the first as she rapidly blinked away the tears and stared at him with open suspicion. “How do you know I’ve been going to sleazy bars?” He seemed to realize he’d revealed too much information and faltered for a split second, long enough for Jaci to put two and two together. “Have you been...watching me? Like some creeper stalker?”
His gaze darkened as he scowled. “I’m not a stalker.”
“That’s what stalkers do, they watch people without the other person’s knowledge. Why would you do that?”
He buttoned his lip, clearly unwilling to reveal his reasons, but she didn’t care anymore. She couldn’t possibly make heads or tails of anything Nathan did or why, nor was she going to start trying. Those days were long gone. “Whatever.” She glanced away. “Get the hell off me. My legs are going numb, and if I recall, you were tired of spending any length of time on top of my body, anyway.”
Nathan hesitated, his scowl remaining, but he finally climbed off her and she rolled away from him. This time