“Don’t. Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear. I just want to put all of this behind me and forget I ever met you. I was close to having closure when you burst back into my life. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to wonder, I don’t want to think of what might’ve been. I just want to be free of you.”
Oh, God, that hurt. Nathan’s jaw tightened as he willed the pain away. She’d said her piece and he had to respect her for it. He understood her need for closure. And if that’s what she wanted from him, he’d give it to her. As soon as he knew she was safe, he would walk away and never bother her again. But until then, until he knew there was no one who wanted her dead, he would stick to her like glue. Anyone who wanted to hurt Jaci would have to go through him first. And he was one hell of a moving target with an even deadlier aim.
* * *
Damn him. How dare he try to rewrite history as if he hadn’t set in motion everything that had taken place. He wasn’t allowed to be hurt or express pain over their breakup because he was the one who had shattered her heart into a million pieces. He didn’t get the option of sharing his regret. And if that seemed unfair, so be it. She didn’t care.
She blinked back tears. No, she wouldn’t cry. She refused to be that weak, weeping woman who fell apart at the slightest sign of a crisis. She was stronger than that. At least she wanted to be. She had to be strong for Sonia. Her best friend had died for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If Nathan thought he could figure out who was after her, then she had to let him try. But first, she needed a few things. “We need to stop by my apartment. I’m not going on the run wearing nothing but club clothes that smell like stale cigarettes and alcohol.” Not to mention blood splatter, Jaci thought, fighting the rise of nausea and grief. “And I want to know what happened to my friend. I don’t care who you have to call or what you have to do but I need answers. I need to know that my best friend is being taken care of.” Tears stung her eyes. “Do you understand? I need to know that Sonia was properly put to rest.”
Nathan didn’t look happy with her request but he seemed to understand her need for closure. “If you promise to stick to my side, as in no running off doing anything crazy or reckless, I’ll tell you what I know of what happened after we left the scene.”
She made a face. “You’re negotiating?”
“I’m securing your cooperation. Make your choice.”
She crossed her arms. “Fine. I agree to stick to your side like glue if you tell me what happened after you forced me to leave my best friend lying in a pool of her own blood,” she spat, hating him.
He scowled. “You mean after I saved your pretty head from sporting the same wound, which is what would’ve happened if we had stuck around a minute longer,” he corrected her sharply and she blinked back angry tears.
Why couldn’t someone else have been her savior? Anyone but him! She knew she owed him her life but she was fairly choking on the gratitude she was supposed to feel.
But then a fleeting expression of remorse passed over his features as he added, “Jaci...if I could have saved your friend, I would have.” And she knew she was being harsh.
She looked away, acknowledging. “I know,” she whispered but she could almost taste the bitterness in her tone. “I can’t believe she’s gone. She always had my back. Always. No matter what. She agreed to walk down that alley because I didn’t want anyone to see me throw up. She was the best friend a girl could ever want.”
He sighed. “I made some calls and your friend’s murder is currently on the desk of a detective who is known for closing cases. The nature of the case is enough to stir interest—young woman with no criminal record with a single bullet wound to the head—because it’s not as if she were connected to any kind of criminal element that might’ve put her there. Not to mention, the second body of the thug, which won’t make sense at all.”
“So, won’t the investigation lead to your organization at some point?”
“No. As far as the government is concerned, we don’t exist. The investigation will fall short of leads and eventually get thrown into the cold case file.”
Jaci stared, not happy with his explanation. “Sonia’s family deserves some kind of closure. Not knowing why their daughter died will kill them.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about that.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He held her accusatory stare. “In this, I have no reason to lie. If there was something I could do, I would. If it helps any, Sonia’s death was quick. She felt no pain.”
“It doesn’t,” she snapped, wiping at the tears that escaped to roll down her cheeks. “Nothing helps.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Jaci’s shoulders bowed as another wave of pain rocked her body as Nathan watched. He didn’t have the right to gather her into his arms and hold her tightly, murmuring words of comfort against her hair, but for one second she wished he would ignore all that and just pull her to him. Jaci wiped away her tears, drawing a halting breath. “Thank you for at least making the call to find out,” she said grudgingly, but then added, “When this is all over, I will explain to Sonia’s parents what really happened. I won’t let them suffer for the rest of their days. It’s bad enough they lost their daughter.” Nathan opened his mouth, looking intent on shutting her down, but he let it ride. Some of the tension left her shoulders and she no longer felt as if someone’s hands were around her throat. She rolled her neck, ready to focus and said, “At some point you’re going to have to level with me. I have to know what’s going on.”
“When I feel it’s safe to share more information I will.”
She accepted his answer. She supposed that was the best she could get at the moment. Everything felt surreal. Was she really sitting in the passenger side of Nathan’s truck, running for her life? Twenty-four hours ago she’d been a normal girl, someone who dreamed of a home and family. Someone who dreamed of meeting the one person who would love her above all else.
After Nathan, she wasn’t sure that person existed. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She’d been so positive that Nathan had been The One for her. She hadn’t wanted anyone else. She hadn’t been open to finding a replacement, either. All of the blind dates, endless dinners and soulless quickies that’d only satisfied a physical need but hadn’t come close to satisfying the emotional void that existed in her heart—they’d all been her desperate attempt to erase the one person who had done so much damage.
And now he was here again. Saving her life, supposedly. How did she know that he wasn’t simply a psycho who enjoyed playing with her mind and heart? There were people like that out there; she’d watched an episode of Law and Order where this guy pretended to be someone he wasn’t simply because he got off messing with other people’s lives.
Oh, God. Now she was considering conspiracy theories. Maybe she just needed food so she could start thinking rationally again. “I’m starving,” she announced. “Is food on your agenda today?”
“There was food back at the cabin.”
She fought the urge to stick her tongue out at him.
He sighed. “Yeah, we can pick up some food.”
Good. Apparently she didn’t need to remind him how peckish she became when her blood sugar plummeted. She thanked him with the tiniest pinch of gratitude necessary for his concession and returned her gaze to the dense forest surrounding them. He’d been right; she would’ve been lost and tumbling into a ravine if she’d struck out on her own. Damn. She hated how directionally challenged she was. Right about now she was wishing she’d paid more attention in school.
Silence filled the cab as neither seemed interested in attempting small talk. Not that she would’ve been capable of rambling on about nothing in particular. Her mind was a fractured