the latch to unlock the wide door, she stumbled from the bathroom stall—how, she didn’t know, when everything was numb. Except her mind, of course. That was on full speed in a Tilt-a-Whirl of thoughts, none of which were cohesive.
She was going to be a mom. A life was growing inside her through the miracle of procreation. It hardly seemed possible.
Cass took one look at Alex’s face and engulfed her in a hug, holding her tight as if the sheer pressure might keep Alex together. “It’ll be okay.”
“How?” Alex mumbled into Cass’s shoulder. “How will it be okay?”
She was going to be a mom. The idea terrified her. Deep inside, she knew she could do it. She had her own mom to fall back on and look to for guidance. Alex was smart—present circumstances excluded. She had her own money and house. Maybe it would be okay.
Phillip. She had to go see him. For one brief, bright second she envisioned him opening the door, seeing her and breaking into a wide smile that she’d feel all the way to her toes. He’d confess he’d missed her, had been thinking about her and was glad she’d come by. She’d smile back and something meaningful would pass between them. She’d admit she’d thought about him, too. That she wished he’d called even though she knew why he hadn’t.
And then she’d tell him he was going to be a father. She had no idea how he’d react. Because she didn’t really know him at all.
“It’s a mess.” Alex pulled from Cass’s embrace.
“It’s a wonderful, joyous event to be celebrated amongst friends,” Cass corrected brightly. “You’re the first of us to get pregnant. Harper and Trinity will be thrilled.”
“About what?” Harper asked as the two women in question joined Alex’s nightmare right on cue. Fyra’s chief science officer’s red hair was down today, framing Harper’s lovely face, and she’d got it cut, but Alex was too shell-shocked to comment on it.
Trinity’s keen gaze zigzagged between Cass and Alex as she crossed her arms over a chic suit in a vivid shade of blue that matched the stripe coloring the right side of her dark hair. “Something’s going on. Did something happen on the FDA approval front? What did Phillip say?”
His name was like a knife through Alex’s heart, especially since she hadn’t thought about Formula-47’s FDA application one time over the past week. That was what she should have been focusing on, not her stupid crush on the man helping Fyra with the approval process.
This was the absolute worst timing. Fyra was poised to hit the billion-dollars-a-year mark in revenue with Harper’s revolutionary new skin-care formula, and Alex couldn’t do a simple thing like working with the senator on the FDA approval process without messing it all up.
“Phillip didn’t call,” she told Trinity, who she knew was chomping at the bit to get started on a new marketing campaign. “I’m pregnant.”
Harper and Trinity exclaimed happily and took turns hugging her. She had her friends, if nothing else. She breathed easier.
Cass smiled and rubbed her back. “See? We’ll hold your hand through it and be your village. Single women raise children all the time.”
Single mom. Oh, God. She hadn’t even got that far in her mind. It wasn’t just a pregnancy, but a child who needed nurturing and love.
The complexities nearly knocked her knees out from under her. She’d never intended to have children, never planned to expose a helpless child to pain and suffering at the hands of adults. Her own parents’ divorce had changed her, hardened her, driven her into teenage experimentation with drugs and alcohol, then ultimately a brush with the law. And now she’d done the one thing she’d sworn to never do—force a child to live with his or her parents’ mistakes.
This was what happened when she threw caution to the wind.
Cass had made a broad, sweeping assumption that Alex would be handling this without Phillip, but nothing could be further from what Alex had envisioned. Babies needed a family. A father. She hadn’t had one and knew that pain. Her child would have one come hell or high water.
Did Phillip even want kids? What if he would be happier washing his hands of her and the baby, perfectly fine with never seeing either of them again? How would she convince him otherwise if he hated the idea of being a dad?
And what kind of relationship would she and Phillip have? How could they be parents when they weren’t even a couple? Panic sloshed through her already nauseated stomach.
“When did you become an expert on motherhood?” Alex snapped, too freaked to temper her tone.
“Since Gage got full custody of Robbie,” Cass said simply. “Just because I didn’t give birth to him doesn’t make him any less mine. I wanted to learn.”
Cass had fallen in love with a single father and thus had to become a mother in short order. Looked like Alex would be doing the same.
A horrifying thought occurred to her then.
Maybe Phillip would want to raise the baby...without her. Oh, God. What if he tried to use his power and influence to take the baby away for some reason? Instantly, she cradled her still-flat stomach protectively. He wouldn’t do that. Would he? She bemoaned the fact that she didn’t know him well enough to guess.
It didn’t matter. No one was taking this baby from her. The child was equally hers and Phillip’s, and they were both going to have a role in its life. Period.
No child of hers was going to grow up without a loving mother and father. That started by talking to Phillip about how they would manage the next eighteen-plus years together and ended with honesty. She certainly didn’t need his money, but what she did need from him would require courage and fortitude to secure.
“I have to see a doctor. To confirm. And then fly to Washington,” she told Cass woodenly. “I know it’s the worst time to be gone, but—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Go. Take the time you need to figure out the next steps. We’ll be here.”
Yes. Next steps. If she took this in the logical order everything would be fine.
Trinity and Harper both nodded, throwing in their own versions of support and talking a mile a minute about nursery decor, breast-feeding and maternity fashion.
“Thanks.” Alex’s throat closed and she couldn’t say anything else. Just as well. She needed to save her voice for the long conversation with Phillip looming in her future.
* * *
Phillip typed his electronic signature and sent the email. One thing off his growing list.
Cherry trees outside his office window had burst into full bloom in the past week. Spring was Phillip’s favorite time in Washington, though he enjoyed the snowy winter, too. Winter in Dallas consisted of ice storms followed by seventy-degree days. The ups and downs were maddening.
He wished his grandfather agreed. The man had spent years and years living in DC while he’d held office, but as his health declined, Max Edgewood preferred to stay in Dallas. It was the one reason Phillip commuted back and forth as much as he did; he loved his grandfather and gladly split his time between the two cities. He didn’t like to think about how few days Max might have left on this earth.
In fact, they were overdue for a visit. He should go home soon. Except he was avoiding Dallas.
Linda buzzed him through the phone intercom. “Senator, Ms. Meer is here.”
A myriad of emotions flushed through his body at the mention of the woman he’d fled to Washington to forget. He’d failed spectacularly at the forgetting part, but he’d been trying to at least stay away. No matter how much he’d wanted to arrange that dinner they’d discussed, they were all wrong for each other and she’d given him the perfect out by telling him to call when he was free. If he was at the Capitol, he wasn’t free.
What