wasn’t the first time she’d stopped by his office. It was, however, the first time she’d come by without an appointment. It was a testament to his admin’s superior mind-reading skills that she hadn’t turned Alex away.
“Send her in immediately,” he told Linda.
He stood as the door opened and Alex spilled into the room. Gone were the makeup and fancy clothes, replaced by her typical ponytail and jeans.
Her bare face glowed and something seized his lungs as he stared at her. She was even more beautiful without all the trappings she’d worn to his party. Breathtaking almost, as if something inside her had suddenly become illuminated.
“Hi,” he greeted her inanely after a long moment of silence.
She’d stolen his ability to think simply by walking into the room. That was not supposed to happen. He’d expressly promised things wouldn’t be weird between them once he knew what she looked like under that formfitting T-shirt...and he was making it weird.
“Hi,” she repeated and shifted uncomfortably. “Thanks for seeing me on short notice. I’m sorry to barge in here without calling first.”
“I’m glad.” He smiled, feeling a bit more on even ground. “I’m happy to see you.”
“You might not feel that way in a minute.”
Her eyes shone with unexpected moisture and he lost his place again. This wasn’t a social visit, obviously. “Is something wrong?”
“Maybe.” She hesitated, biting her lip in that way that said she didn’t know what to say next. “You didn’t ever issue that dinner invitation.”
Not here to talk business, then. The uncertainty glinting in her eyes put a cramp in his stomach.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely and cursed himself for being such an ass. “I could give you a bunch of excuses, but none of them would be the truth. I didn’t think it was fair to you to continue our relationship. So I didn’t.”
But he’d dreamed of things happening differently. A lot. If only he could take her in his arms and kiss her hello, like he wanted to.
“Because you got what you were after and now you’re done?” she whispered.
The simple question whacked him between the eyes. He’d hurt her feelings with his stupid rules and the loneliness that had caused him to act selfishly.
“That’s not it at all.” True, and yet nowhere near the whole truth. He was done, but not for the reasons she seemed to think. He sighed. “I like you a lot, Alex, but I’m not sure we’re meant to continue our affair. It’s complicated. And not your fault. I wish things could be different. And not so complicated.”
She choked out a laugh that sounded a bit like a sob. “Yeah, I wish that, too. Unfortunately, things are far more complicated than you could ever dream.”
“What—”
“I’m pregnant.”
His expression froze into place, a practiced mechanism to keep his audience from guessing his thoughts before he was ready to share them.
Pregnant.
The simple word bled through his mind and fractured into pieces as a thousand simultaneous thoughts vied for attention. Pregnant. It echoed, tearing through his heart painfully. The obvious question—whether she thought he was the father—clearly didn’t need to be asked. She wouldn’t be here otherwise.
Now would be a good time to say something. “That’s an unexpected development.”
Because he needed to do something with his hands, he pushed the intercom button. “Linda, can you bring Ms. Meer a bottle of water?”
Then he rounded the three-hundred-year-old desk that had been his grandfather’s, gifted to Phillip when his grandfather retired, and hustled Alex to the couch where he sometimes slept when he couldn’t face his lonely condo on 2nd Street. “Please. Sit down.”
She complied, sinking to the couch as if her bones couldn’t hold her upright any longer. He knew the feeling. Linda hurried in with the water and handed it to Alex with a friendly nod and then disappeared, as a good admin should.
“I’m sorry to blurt it out like that,” Alex said solemnly and drank the water. “I don’t phrase things well under the best circumstances and I’m still kind of in shock.”
“I would imagine so.” Blearily, he scrubbed his face with his hands and breathed deeply. For fortitude. It didn’t help. “How do you feel? Okay? Do you need a paper bag? I’ll get you one as long as you share it with me.”
She flashed a brief smile. “Are you having sympathy morning sickness?”
“No, I was thinking about breathing into it.” Because he felt like he might pass out. “It’s my baby, right?”
“Yeah.” Her smile disappeared. “I’m not all that good at luring men into bed. Look how long it took for me to get you there. But we can do a paternity test while I’m here, if you want.”
The sooner, the better. He trusted Alex, but he couldn’t afford mistakes.
This could not be happening. Phillip had lived his life carefully for nearly two decades. Even as a teenager, he’d been mindful that political aspirations could die easily with the wrong decisions, and he’d never had a reason to conceal his actions. While other politicians paid off former mistresses and employed spin doctors to get them out of hot water with the media, Phillip preferred honesty—after all, if you never did anything questionable, you didn’t have to cover it up.
This was all his fault. The condoms must have been older than he’d remembered. And now they’d both pay the price.
Pregnant. Alex was pregnant.
He couldn’t repeat it enough times for it to stick in his brain as a fact, like the way he knew the sky was blue without looking at it. Alex was a great person, a businesswoman he was helping navigate the bureaucracy of the FDA approval process. Thinking of her like that was easy. She was also a sexy woman whose company he’d enjoyed at a party a few weeks ago.
And now she had a third designation: the mother of his child.
It changed everything.
They had to get married. His heart squeezed painfully once, and he shut it down ruthlessly. There was so much more to consider here than how he’d always thought he’d have a baby with Gina. So much more to consider than Alex’s lack of credentials as the perfect wife to fit his needs.
If he planned to be honest with his constituents, there was no other solution than to surround Alex, his child and his career with the protection of marriage. No man with Phillip’s political platform could ascend to the Oval Office with an illegitimate child any sooner than he could as a single man. The press would eat him alive, gleefully portraying his family values as hypocrisy.
Except all he could think about was Alex spread out on his bed, underneath him, as he made love to her. What would it be like to wake up to her in the morning? He couldn’t lie to himself any more than he could to his supporters; marrying her meant they could continue that part of their relationship.
The pregnancy meant he could have Alex and keep his emotional commitment to Gina, because of course Alex wouldn’t expect him to be in love with her. He could raise his baby with his child’s mother. The rest of the complications were a huge compromise, but one he was willing to make for the benefits.
He had no clue whether Alex would marry him under those conditions, but he had to try to convince her.
She cleared her throat. “We need to talk about next steps.”
“Agreed.” His mind raced through his calendar, rearranging appointments and projects. He could carve out time for the flurry of activity that was about to become both their realities. He had to. “My