He couldn’t remember the last time it had occurred to him to ask her about her goals and dreams.
She nodded. ‘‘I can go full-time. It would be a nice leap in my income level, let me finally get out from under—oh, never mind. I’m sure this is boring you to tears.’’ Her gaze slid away from his and she concentrated on her food. ‘‘Tell me how Mollie is doing. Are you still planning on looking for another private sitter?’’
Derek studied her in silence. What the heck had just happened? She’d been discussing her business when suddenly she’d stopped making eye contact, her posture had changed from relaxed and easy to straight-backed and rigid, and she’d fixed on a bright, fake smile that he didn’t think he’d ever seen before. ‘‘Yeah,’’ he finally said. ‘‘I still need a sitter. But Mollie’s enjoyed day care so much I’m thinking of signing her up for preschool a couple of days a week. It’ll be part of the sitter’s job to take her and pick her up.’’
The odd smile faded from Kristin’s face and a genuine, far more familiar frown replaced it. ‘‘You mean you’re going to let a total stranger drive her around?’’
‘‘Well, yeah.’’ Although he hadn’t really even considered that aspect of the idea.
‘‘What if the person has an old rattletrap of a car? How will you know if he or she has a safe driving record? What will you do about a car seat—?’’
‘‘Hold on!’’ He held up one hand, palm out. ‘‘This is just something I was considering. I haven’t interviewed anyone yet, and I honestly hadn’t even thought about car safety. Do you want to help me put together a list of questions?’’
She nodded immediately. ‘‘Sure. And as long as I’m making suggestions, why don’t you see if there are any agencies in the area that provide nannies? We’d still want to conduct our own interviews and check references, but at least we’d know they’d come recommended with some initial screening done.’’
We. Two little letters that made one very simple word. But something in the way she said it struck him like a bolt of lightning from a cloudless sky. We. When had it begun to sound so good to him?
He finished his meal, then came around the desk and held out his hand to her.
She looked at his outstretched hand, then up at his face. Slowly, she placed her palm in his and let him draw her to her feet.
Neither of them said a word. Still holding her gaze, he drew her into his arms and lowered his head. The moment his lips touched hers, he felt the same thrill as he had before. The irresistible call of desire, of need and passion and heat and all the things he’d missed for so long and had found in her arms. He kissed her deeply, plunging his tongue into her mouth in search of her uniquely exciting response, delighting in her slick, soft flavor. His hands slid down her back, stopping just above the sweet swell of her bottom. His palms practically itched with the need to slide farther down and cup the soft globes, but this wasn’t the place to grope her like an adolescent boy. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. Besides, if he started, he wasn’t at all sure he’d be able to stop. So much for noble motives.
He reached up and tugged lightly on her arms, drawing them down from his neck and holding them between their bodies. ‘‘Much as I’d like to do this for the rest of the day, I’ve got to get back to work.’’
Kristin’s eyes were soft and dazed, her lips red and full. She blew out a breath as her forehead dropped to rest against his chest. ‘‘It’s probably just as well,’’ she muttered.
He found he didn’t like the sound of that sentiment. ‘‘Why?’’
She looked up at him, her tone mildly exasperated. ‘‘Derek, it hardly seems fair for me to be kissing you like this. You know I’m dating several men right now and I’m certainly not carrying on with them like I just did with you.’’
I’m dating several men. A primal surge of jealousy and possessiveness rushed through him. ‘‘You’d better not be.’’ His voice sounded thick and rough to his own ears, and he didn’t wait for her to respond before he bent his head and took her mouth again. He released her wrists and took her by the hips, tugging her firmly against his body, knowing she couldn’t miss the pulsing column of arousal that hadn’t completely subsided since he’d walked into the room. The hell with not making her uncomfortable. She could damn well feel as uncomfortable as he did right now.
‘‘No more dating,’’ he said, lifting his mouth a breath from hers. ‘‘I told you the other night that things have changed.’’
‘‘But—’’
‘‘This is going to be an exclusive relationship,’’ he told her.
‘‘Exclusive in what way?’’
God, did the woman have to argue with every word that came out of his mouth? ‘‘Neither of us is going to see anyone else from now on.’’
She frowned. ‘‘You weren’t seeing anyone before. I’m the only one who’s concerned about my life passing me by.’’ Her eyes looked suspiciously moist. ‘‘I can’t just be your sexual toy, Derek.’’
He rubbed his hands up and down over the slender line of her back, feeling the delicate bone structure beneath his palms. Despite her youth, Kristin was one of the most capable, competent women he’d ever known. He thought of her as self-assured, as sturdy and indestructible.
Perhaps too much so. He’d ignored her need for reassurance, for support and commitment because it hadn’t occurred to him that she needed those things. Now he knew she did. She was as vulnerable, in her way, as any other woman.
A fatalistic sense of calm descended, and he knew what he was going to say mere moments before he opened his mouth. ‘‘I don’t want you to be a sexual toy. I want you to be my wife.’’
Seven
The words were shocking, even to him. Derek suddenly couldn’t draw a deep enough breath and an instant tension stiffened his limbs.
Kristin froze in his embrace. She didn’t say a word.
‘‘Kris.’’ He stepped back and took both her hands in his, then took a deep breath and dropped to one knee in front of her. ‘‘Will you marry me?’’
God. The sound of the words hitting the air was nearly a physical pain in his heart. He’d spoken those words once before, holding Deb in his arms on a park bench just as a brilliant sunset feathered across the sky.
He and she had been young. So young. Who could have known that she’d be dead in just over a decade, years before her time?
Kristin was still standing in front of him, and he forced himself to set aside the painful thoughts. The past was over. Buried.
And he realized she hadn’t said a word.
He cleared his throat and tried to smile. ‘‘I, ah, didn’t think you’d find a marriage proposal from me abhorrent.’’
‘‘It’s not that,’’ she said slowly, soberly. ‘‘It’s shock. You didn’t want to marry me last month. What’s changed?’’
‘‘I didn’t know what I wanted last month. Not even last week,’’ he said honestly, trying to give her question the respect it deserved. ‘‘Ever since you first brought up the idea of marriage my head’s been in a spin. I thought I was content with the way my life was going, but I don’t think it was contentment I was really feeling. I was in a rut and it was easier to stay there than to look for a new path.’’
Kristin swallowed. Her eyes were wide, a dark mossy green filled with shock. ‘‘And the new path is asking me to marry you?’’
He rose and smiled down at her. ‘‘It’s not a new path, is it? It’s one that I’ve been avoiding taking for too long now.’’
Something