have taken the Pill while not knowing that they are pregnant. You’ve had no symptoms?’ Anton checked.
‘Not really.’ Candy shook her head and then lay and thought back over the past few weeks. ‘I had what I thought was a bug and I’ve felt sick a couple of times and been a bit dizzy, but I never really gave it much thought.’ She looked up at Anton. ‘I’ve been so tired, though. I mean seriously tired. I actually booked a holiday because I was feeling so flat.’
‘Candy,’ Anton said gently, ‘I’m not surprised that you have been feeling exhausted—it’s a twin pregnancy.’
It was just as well that he had kept her lying down.
Candy lay there, stunned, trying and failing to see herself as a mother of twins. Finally she sat up and when she took a seat at the desk Anton gave her a drink of water.
‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘As of now,’ he said, ‘I would expect that your mind is extremely scattered. Is there anybody that you can talk to about this?’
‘Not really. My parents will freak,’ Candy said, panicking just at the thought of telling them. ‘I can’t tell anyone at work or it will be everywhere.’
He nodded in understanding but he was practical too. ‘You are going to start showing very soon—in fact, you are already,’ Anton said. ‘I could feel that you were pregnant before I did the ultrasound. Your uterus is out of the pelvis and you will show far more quickly with twins.’
‘I can’t have it, Anton,’ Candy said, but then she started to cry because it wasn’t an it. It was a them.
‘Candy, you do need a little time to process this news but you also need to come and see me next week. You don’t have much time to make a decision. I do want you to take the time to think very carefully about this.’
She didn’t need the time. In that moment, she had already made her choice.
‘I can’t …’ Candy said, and then took a deep breath. ‘I’m not having an abortion.’
‘Well, you have a difficult road coming up,’ Anton said, ‘but I can tell you this much—I will be there for you and in six months from now you will have your babies and today will be just a confusing memory.’
‘Thank you.’
They chatted some more and Candy told him that she was booked to go to Hawaii next week. ‘Can I still go?’
‘Absolutely!’ he said. ‘It will be the best thing for you. Let your insurance company know. Put me down as your obstetrician. I do still want to see you next week, though. You need to have some blood tests and I want to go through things more thoroughly with you. Right now, it’s time for the news to sink in.’
Poor thing, Anton thought as she left his office. He had looked after many women whose partner and even ex-partner had died and knew that it was a very confusing time.
He smiled as there was a knock at the door and Louise came in. ‘How was she?’
‘She’s fine,’ Anton said, and then rolled his eyes as Louise picked up the gel. ‘Step away from the ultrasound machine, Louise.’
‘Please,’ Louise said. ‘It’s wide awake. I can feel it kicking.
‘Because it probably knows its lunchtime,’ Anton said. ‘Come on, I would actually like to get some lunch.’
‘Is Candy okay?’ Louise shamelessly fished as they walked down to the canteen. Anton absolutely trusted his wife but part of what he adored about her was that she could not keep a secret and so, to be safe, he said nothing.
‘She’s on with him …’ Louise nudged.
‘Who?’ Anton frowned.
‘The sexy new geriatrician that just walked past,’ Louise explained. ‘Candy is on with him.’
He loathed gossip, he truly did, but, unusually for Anton, he turned his head.
He felt sorry for her new partner too and tried to imagine how he would feel if his gorgeous wife had already been pregnant when they’d met.
Anton was man enough to admit that he didn’t know.
Candy stepped into her flat and put down her handbag and she didn’t know where to start with her thoughts.
Just after seven there was a knock at the door and Candy opened it to the angry questions and accusations of her parents.
‘Where were you?’ her mother asked, and demanded to know where Candy had been last night and the night before that.
‘We came over and you were not home.’
‘Please, not now,’ Candy said.
Yes, now.
‘For the last two weeks you are hardly home. We call around and the lights are off. We telephone and you don’t pick up.’
‘I’m twenty-four years old, Mum,’ Candy said. ‘I don’t have to account for my time …’
She might as well have thrown petrol on the fire because all the anger that had been held in by her parents since Candy had moved into her flat came out then.
She was heading for trouble, her mother warned.
They didn’t raise her to stay out all night.
Who was she going to Hawaii with?
Candy thought of Steele then and stood there, remembering the beginning of tentative plans.
How much simpler life had seemed then.
‘I’m not discussing this,’ Candy said. ‘I’m very tired. It’s been an extremely long day.’
She simply refused to row.
When they finally left she stood in the hall.
No one understood. Her friends at work thought she was ridiculous to worry about what her parents might think, but she did. Candy loved them. She just didn’t know how to be both herself and the daughter they demanded that she be.
Imagine telling them that the she was pregnant.
She simply could not imagine it.
Not just pregnant, but pregnant with twins and the father was dead.
Candy dealt with things then as any rational, capable adult would.
She undressed, climbed into bed and pulled the covers over her head.
‘HI.’
Steele could hear the tension in her voice when Candy called him on Saturday, though she was trying to keep her voice light.
‘Hi, Candy.’
‘Is it okay if we give it a miss tonight?’ she asked. They had planned to go to a stand-up comedy and the tickets had been hard to come by.
‘Of course it is,’ he said. ‘I doubt you’re in the mood for laughing out loud. Do you want me to come over?’
‘I’d really just like a night on my own,’ she said.
Another one.
And then another.
And then another.
On Tuesday, four days before she flew, Steele saw her briefly in the admin corridor. She was coming down from Admin, where she had been trying to sort out her salary for her annual leave when she bumped into him.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked.
‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I actually can’t stop and speak. Lydia has messed up my annual leave pay and