‘I didn’t see you there,’ she lied. In actual fact she had been aware of his presence the whole time; it would be impossible not to be. This house was full of him. Wherever she went Zane was there, whether in the flesh or not. But in the flesh, as now, she had sensed him, felt him, had never been more aware of him. And it made her realise what a big mistake she had made in coming here.
No doubt she would weather the storm, but it would be hard denying her feelings, pretending an immunity she did not feel. All she could hope was that he wouldn’t attempt to carry on their affair. It would be a bittersweet relationship, knowing it could end again once Tim’s grandmother was well enough to take him back. She couldn’t go through with it.
He came into the room. ‘A drink?’ he asked, walking over to a mini-bar in the far corner. The room was high-ceilinged and tall-windowed, with beautiful gold silk curtains against a wall of palest blue. The carpet had a blue and gold pattern and all of the furniture was antique. Money well spent, she thought. Not that it was to her taste; she preferred something more modern, but it suited Zane. The whole house suited him.
Even now, dressed down in black jeans and T-shirt, he didn’t look out of place. While she was all keyed up inside, he looked relaxed and perfectly at ease. And, while she didn’t really want a drink, Lucinda nodded, feeling it might help settle her uneasy stomach.
He poured her a gin and tonic without even asking what she would like and, with a tumbler of whisky for himself, he sat down on the settee opposite her.
The film finished and Lucinda hoped he wouldn’t ask her what it was about because she hadn’t the slightest idea.
‘So tell me,’ he said, ‘what’s been happening in your life since we got home?’
Lucinda shrugged. ‘I’ve been working hard, that’s all. I had a lot to catch up on.’
‘And how’s my project doing?’
She frowned. ‘You still want me to carry on with it?’ This was the last thing she had expected.
‘Why wouldn’t I? I didn’t go to all the trouble of flying you out there for nothing. Is that what you thought? That I took you out to have my evil way with you? Is that why you looked at me earlier as though I were the devil incarnate? Believe me, Lucinda, what happened was as much your choice as mine.’
Lucinda wasn’t sure she would agree with that. He was the one who had started the affair. If he hadn’t she would have got all her work done and she wouldn’t be feeling as though he had robbed her of a very precious part of her being.
‘You look as though you don’t agree.’
There was hardness in his eyes, turning them steel-blue instead of smoky blue and Lucinda felt everything inside her go tense. ‘You were the one who started it.’ Oh, Lord, how childish was that?
‘One of us had to,’ he declared pragmatically. ‘We couldn’t have got through our time there feeling as we did if we didn’t give in to our feelings. Don’t you agree?’
Lucinda shrugged. ‘It’s never happened to me before.’
‘And do you regret it?’ He paused, his glass poised before his lips.
‘Yes, actually,’ answered Lucinda. Honesty was the best policy here or she could see him attacking her defences yet again. And she would unfortunately let him. He was a man who could not be ignored.
Zane took a long swallow of his drink, put his glass down carefully on a side table and looked at her intently. ‘Are you saying to me that if I took you into my arms right now and kissed you, you wouldn’t respond? That your body wouldn’t melt and your arms wouldn’t go around my neck and you’d beg me for more? Are you saying that, Lucinda?’
She eyed him coolly. ‘Yes!’ And her voice crackled into the air like breaking ice.
Well-marked brows rose. ‘And I’m supposed to believe it?’
‘You can believe what you like,’ she threw at him even more crisply. ‘It happens to be the truth. You used me out there and you’re not going to do it again. Actually, I think the location seduced me more than you did.’
His eyes flickered but he said nothing.
‘And now that I’m back on home ground my head is level and I have no wish to carry on an affair with you.’ In fact he was the one who had put an end to it by his behaviour on the plane. But she didn’t tell him that; she didn’t tell him how much he had hurt her. She was glad now that it was finished because it would have hurt even more the longer it had gone on.
She was under no delusion that he would ever have turned their relationship into something more serious. That was way out of his agenda. All Zane was interested in was a good time.
And that was what they’d had. She couldn’t deny it. The only fly in the ointment had been Serafine. Lucinda had been excruciatingly jealous of her.
‘Who’s saying I want to?’
His callous statement took Lucinda’s breath away.
‘I asked you here to look after Tim. If you’ve put any other connotations on it then it’s your fault.’
Lucinda felt her skin burning. He really knew how to turn the knife. ‘At least we know where we stand,’ she declared fiercely. ‘I don’t think I want this drink. I’m going to bed.’
‘Lucinda!’
She turned halfway across the room and glared at him. She had never felt so humiliated in her whole life.
‘Don’t run away.’
‘I’m not running,’ she snapped. ‘I’m tired.’
‘Then relax here with me.’
‘It’s impossible.’
‘Is it?’ An eyebrow rose. ‘Or is it that you don’t like the way the conversation is going? We could change it. We could talk about the project. We could talk about Tim. We could talk about anything you like.’
Lucinda drew in a deep breath and struggled with her conscience. This whole uncomfortable issue was her fault and she didn’t want to be anywhere near Zane for the time being. She needed space; she needed to get her head round things. She needed to ask herself what the real reason was that she had come here today.
DID you find your office?’
Lucinda looked at Zane across the breakfast table and frowned.
‘Yesterday, when you came,’ he enlarged. ‘Did you see it? Is there everything you need?’
‘I didn’t know that you’d already set up a room for me,’ she answered. ‘I was busy with Tim.’ And she didn’t really see how she could work at her job with a five-year-old to look after. Actually, she hadn’t thought it through very well at all. And the main reason being? She had wanted to see Zane! It was stupid; it was irrational and totally unlike her. And, after last night’s fiasco, she wished that she had never come.
She had lain awake most of the night berating herself for letting Zane get through to her, for even mentioning their affair. It had been stupid of her, irrational, and she felt all kinds of a fool.
Tim had come into her room early and snuggled down in bed with her and then she had washed and dressed him and given him his breakfast. At the moment he was helping in the kitchen. And later she had promised to take him to the hospital to see his beloved Nanna. How she had thought she could do her job as well as look after Zane’s nephew she had no idea. It was another case of her heart ruling her head.
‘Then I’ll show you afterwards,’ declared Zane. ‘Did you sleep well?’
She