Enneagram For Dummies. Jeanette van Stijn

Greek philosophers spent a lot of time contemplating their thoughts and thought processes. Reality is so complex that people try to understand and clarify it. They do this by representing aspects of that reality in models. Humans, and how they work together and function, are so complex that it’s practically impossible to comprehend. Yet it’s a human peculiarity that everyone wants to understand themselves better, to get to know themselves. People needed models that could make their complex nature more comprehensible. They created models to observe and understand their mutual differences. This is part of reality, which is described in some detail in the Enneagram. But it’s just a model and therefore not reality itself. The reality is that everyone is a unique individual.

Although far apart in place and time, systems have been developed within different cultures around the world that are, upon closer study, amazingly similar at heart. Many people, for example, focus inward with meditation or prayer. For the purposes of this book, note that people in different places and at different times have come to the conclusion that you hinder yourself by adhering to familiar thought patterns and mental habits — patterns and habits that blind you to other points of view.

      … and the method

      The question now is, What are the benefits of understanding yourself and others? What's the fun of that? How does having this knowledge help you? Nothing changes from insights alone; they don’t automatically lead to personal development. For that to happen, you need a practice in addition to a model that makes your inner life easier to understand. That's what the Enneagram also offers. Bookcases are packed full of literature about the Enneagram as a model, but what’s less known is that the Enneagram also offers a practice, a method of self-development or self-management. One of my goals in this book is to give you an idea of what to do with this practice after you’ve finished reading.

      The map of your inner self

      Many models classify personality structures — most do it by describing externally observable characteristics: Are you more extroverted or introverted? Are you more of a leader or a follower? The Enneagram emphasizes something else: The personality structures are classified and described according to what happens within you as a human being. So the Enneagram is actually more of a map of your inner self.

      You have to learn to read and use a map. Where are north and south? How does the map indicate a hiking trail, a river, and a bridge to cross the river? Reading a map also applies to the Enneagram. The first step of your journey using the Enneagram map is to become familiar with the language with which your inner structure is expressed in words. This first part mainly explains this language and focuses on what you mean when you use it.

      Leveraging the Enneagram's 2-in-1 concept

The Enneagram’s added value is that it offers a coordinated method of self-development built on top of the map of the inner self. Other methods of self-development generally offer exercises and tips that are pretty much the same for everyone. The beauty of the Enneagram’s methodology is that there’s a corresponding map in which differences between people are thoroughly mapped out. The path to self-development is different for each type on the Enneagram. The development path and what to practice are tailored to the peculiarities of each type. This is why working with the Enneagram is effective.

      Many trainers, coaches, and other professionals have discovered the value of the Enneagram as a model. To put the Enneagram to practical use, you need instruments and a method. Because it’s less well known that the Enneagram provides these tools, professionals often combine the Enneagram with other techniques. One example is the commonly used combination of the Enneagram and neurolinguistic programming (NLP.) (For more on this topic, check out Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies, by Kate Burton and Romilla Ready). Sometimes trainers and coaches who are skilled in other techniques then discover the Enneagram map. They therefore feel no need for the method that the Enneagram also offers. This book demonstrates the 2-in-1 concept and shows its corresponding possibilities and value. For example, precisely by practicing the method does the insight into the types continue to deepen. I hope that many professionals will embrace the method in addition to the model. It pairs well with other techniques and skills that they may already have acquired.

Seeing What the Enneagram Can Offer You

      The main benefit that the Enneagram offers is a focused and easy way to learn more about yourself at a deeper level — to become more aware of how you think, what you feel, why you act or react the way you do, why something or someone can or cannot affect you, or why certain people have a particular effect on you. On top of all that, you can learn more about what effect you have on other people and how you come across to others and then, most importantly, where that perception comes from. Finally, the Enneagram can reveal to you what you’re focusing your attention on, what you think is important deep down, what you desire, what you’re looking for, or what you’re avoiding.

      Choosing to develop

Imagine that you’re finally getting to know yourself. You learn to observe where you focus your attention, and you learn to perceive, from a nonjudgmental position, when and how your type manifests itself. You become more aware of things that you may not have known before. If you do become aware and notice when your type kicks in as your automatic pilot, there comes a time when you get to make a choice: Keep your type in charge, to carry out your habits as you have always done, or leave the habits behind. In doing so, you refuse to remain a captive to your type; you now have the freedom to not get caught up in it. That's a step in your development.

      

There's more to come. This is just a taste of what the Enneagram has to offer if you choose to walk that path: awareness and ability to function with more freedom.

      

I’m a Type 1 person, and my type made me not only a captive of my type but also a captive of my work. If something wasn't good enough, I couldn't stop. It didn't matter what it was; only when it was perfectly in order could I stop and go to sleep. I worked through many a night. Because everything had to be done perfectly, stacks of work were always on my desk — many and high. Next to and under my desk, behind my chair, an extra cabinet that I bought just to hold the stacks. Can you picture it? It wasn’t healthy for me, nor was it a joy for those around me. The Enneagram made me see not only those stacks but also, above all, how I created my own mechanisms and then chose to stop them. What helped me for months to make a real turnaround was asking myself the question, “Isn't it already good enough?” with every job. It was always good enough, and so I could teach myself to stop.

      In this book you’ll find your own question to help you make a change and to no longer be a captive to your type.

      Committing to your inner work

      I use inner work as a term for the work involved in personal development. It's not hocus-pocus; it's just plain work, but it's work done on the inside. Anyone can learn how to do inner work, but, as with anything you want to learn, it doesn’t happen on its own.

      

People are dealing with increasing demands at work regarding their personal and professional functioning. You’ll discover that this inner work is also indispensable, even when it comes to professional development. It helps you face your limitations and overcome them and teaches you how you can better use your innate qualities. Wanting to develop yourself or certain aspects of yourself requires time and effort — but above all, your attention.

      Stick with this development for a while because inner work can

       Offer you fun in addition to depth, meaning, and inspiration

       Provide